My revision. ..UGGGH WTF did I do?

Nov 08, 2013

I had surgery, revision from distal rny to DS ON 10/30. I Felt good about the surgery until I woke up. When dr got in, my insides was so filled with adhesions it took 2 hrs to cut everything apart before even being able start any part of the surgery. I need high doses of pain meds due to the strong pain meds I have taken daily for 7 years. It was a day b4 the pharmacy figured out the Dilaudid pump was the equivalent of a baby asprin in my system. Then things went from bad to WORSE. Started bleeding stools of blood. BP DROPPED to 70/32 had to have emergency blood transfusion of 2 of blood. Next day another transfusion. Next day I had an asthma attack after 5 or 6 years! Wtf finally day 5 they kicked me out! I regretted having the surgery.  I wished I could blink back to b4 being touched. Me and my adult children watched my mother suffer and die the month before. I felt so guilty that i jepodized hurting my children so soon after my mother passing. I was so sure i was going to die by day 2 i stopped them from coming to the hospital. I didn't want them to watch me suffer and die also. But here I am day 9 I feel like I may make it! I'm feeling a little better each day.

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