Muffie

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I am currently 159 pounds! Haven't been this weight since the 6th or 7th grade. The greatest thrill for me is shopping in the "regular" clothes section. I had no idea how many clothing options that are available to non-plus size folks! This surgery has changed my life on so many levels. Anyone out there unsure if this is the right decision for them, go for it! For me, it was definetely the right decision.

Take care OH Fam!

Hello OH Family:
   I can hardly believe after this long and difficult journey, that I have finally reached my goal weight of 165 lbs.  And I am truly greatful to GOD because HE has made it possible for me.  I know now that I have a much better chance of being here to watch my babies grow-up.  Which is the most important thing to me in this world.

   I do have one probably though.  And maybe it's just in my mind, I don't know.  But to me, I still look extremely fat.  I think I am going to lower my goal weight to about 140 or 145 lbs at the most.  I think that will still be a healthy weight for me.  Some people (especially my mom and my husband)  think that I look great now, and shouldn't try to lose anymore weight.  But I think I need to lose about 20 or 25 more pounds.  What do y'all think.  Let me know.  I will consider all comments.  Except those that are rude, negative or hurtful.

Luv 2 U ALL!
Muffie

Hello OH Family:

I know its been a hot minute since I've checked in.  Blessings out to all of you for your weight struggles.  I am all too familiar with them.  I am down to 179 pounds for the past month.  For my wedding anniversary this month, I actually bought and wore a halter-dress!  Can u believe that?  A halter dress! (Check it out on my new pix). I've never worn a halter anything in my entire life.  I had the courage to try it on at a store in the mall, and yes it actually fit.  And nicely.  I don't know which occasion my husband looked more pleased in his facial expression: seeing me on our wedding day, or seeing me in that halter-dress!  I'm glad he liked it so much.  He had the shocked look I was hoping for.  He strutted around with me on his arm that night like I was Beyonce or somebody! LOL!  I'm  loving this!!!

When I first went shopping for the dress, I went to one of my usual plus-size stores.  "The Avenue".  When I walked into The Avenue, one of the sales ladies who was putting out clothes asked me if I needed any help.  I said no thank you.  She said, are you here shopping for a relative or somebody?  I said, no.  I'm here shopping for myself, why is there a problem?  She said, well you know we only start at size 14 right, and we're a plus-size store.  I said, yes I'm aware of that.  She said, no offense, but I don't think we can fit you here.  I said, huh?  She said, I don't think we have anything small enough to fit you.  Why are you shopping in a plus-size store?  I said, are you telling me I don't look like I belong in a plus-size store?  She put her head down and looked somewhat embarrassed.  Then she said, to be honest, no you don't...I'm sorry.  I said, don't be sorry.  That is about the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me.  Telling me that I don't look like I belong in a plus size store!  I said, thank you!  She smiled and said, ok you're welcome.

This little unexpected event motivated me for the first time to try to shop at a "regular" size clothing store.  Which I did.  Which is where I found the black halter-dress.  In a popular store in the mall called Fashion Hits.  I always passed that store right up in the mall.  I always envied the fashions they had displayed in the window.  But I dared not to venture inside because I just knew there was nothing I could even get a leg in.  But the confidence that the store clerk at The Avenue had in me, made me try it.  And guess what, I could fit most of their clothing.  I am officially in a size 11/12.  I have Apple Bottom Jeans now too!  Also something I was never able to wear before. That's a far cry from a size 30/32!

This surgery has not only saved my health and life, but it has also given me a new lease on life.  I am greatful to ALMIGHTY GOD for having such mercy on me!!  Thank YOU JESUS! 

I am very close to my goal of 165 pounds.  But after speaking with a good friend of mine, whom I've met from this website, I think I'm going to lengthen my goal to 150 pounds.  We'll see how it goes...Until then, blessings and peace be with all our you.  We are all in this thing together.  Don't give up.  It is going to happen for you!

Take Care All
Muffie

Hello OH Family: I am currently at 187 pounds and I'm stuck!  I always try to encourage other people when they hit a wall.  Yet here I am feeling down on the dumps.  I know I'm not where I was 7 months ago.  As a matter of fact, I look at old pictures of myself and I cringe with disgust.  So I know I should feel happy everyday with what I've accomplished so far.  And deep down I really am.  But when you get stuck, it can be depressing.  I don't know.  It's something about when you see that scale move in the right direction.  And when your clothes become to big again.  Or when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and you have to do a double-take and say to yourself...who is that?  Is that me? Nah, that can't be me.. But it is!!!  So of course you want to keep that momentum going.  You wish that every single time you get on that scale, you've lost 10 more pounds!  But we know that's not always possible.  Especially if you get on the scale everyday, like I do sometimes.  But, I am taking a hiatus from the scale for a while.  I think I'm going to walk more, and then check the scale in a few weeks.  Otherwise, I'm going to drive myself insane!!  Thank you all for all your support, compliments and love!  You all look great! Let's do this thing!!
Take Care All,
Muffie

Hello All My OH Friends:

Sorry about my absence the past couple of months, but as you can see by the title, I've been on a mission.  A mission to get this fat off my back!! And blessed be to GOD the FATHER it is indeed happening.  I haven't been in the one's since 8th grade!  Isn't that ridiculous?  Yes it is indeed.  I remember entering the 9th grade at 205.  This surgery has truly been amazing and a life-changing experience for me.  I get looks from the type of fine, handsome men who would have NEVER looked in my direction before the weight-loss!  They open doors for me and ask me if I'm married, which I proudly say YES I am!  Nice that they even asked.  Also, I have much more energy.  My cholesterol is down, and no more sleep apnea!  Hooray!  I have more energy to spend playing with my kids and everything.  I am a new woman with a new attitude.  On another note, hubby has become a little bit insecure.  He questions me wherever I go, and blows up my cellphone all day.  He's never been that way before and we had to have a talk.  He admitted that he sees the looks I'm getting from other men and he said he knows I look good.  He said he didn't want to lose me.  I told him I married him because I loved him,  because of the man he is, not for any other reason.  He told me I was always beautiful to him with or without the weight.  I love him so.  I have a damn good one ladies.  I can't complain.  God has truly blessed me with a wonderful husband.  I'm not about to go crazy and let him go just because I'm getting fine (ha-ha).

I had a star moment today.  From myself, someone who has always been self-contious about being so big.  I went to Cato Fashions today because I had nothing in my closet to fit me...literally NOTHING!  I found myself amazed when I tried on a size 16 cute jean dress that actually fit me loosely!  After pacing back and forth, nervously contemplating trying on the size 14, I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try.  And low and behold guess what?  It fit!  I purchased several other cute items I could not have put one leg in before my surgery, but can wear now.  At the register, tears began to roll down my face.  The cashier asked me if I was ok.  I smiled at her and said: "Never better."  A few of my friends have asked me if I would have still had the surgery if I'd known I'd have a complication or two to overcome.  My answer to them is always: "HELL YEAH!"   Many may not agree with me.  And that's ok.  Everyone has their own opinions about weight-loss surgery.  But coming from someone who has always been the fattest one in class, or the fattest one at work, or the fattest one out of all my friends.  And after trying every damn diet under the sun for most of my life with no real, lasting results.  This was a day of reconing for me!!  Thank you to those of you who have been so supportive and positive towards me.  It really means a lot.  More than you'll ever know.  And you know you all have my full support and love as well.  We have to represent for each other, because no one else will.  I still have a way on my journey at this point.  But thankfully I am not where I was 6 months ago: 314 lbs. and a size 28/30, down to 195 lbs. size 14/16.  YEAH ME!! 

PS: Hope y'all dig the new pics.

See ya!

Muffie

Hello Everyone:

I seem to be stuck in the 20's.  I wanted reach onederland by Valentine's day, but not so sure right now.  Hopefully the scale will get to moving again in the right direction. I'll keep y'all posted.

Muffie

Hello All:

As you can tell by my title, I have indeed lost 83 lbs as of today's date.  It's hard to believe my surgery was just in September.  But hey, I'm not complaining.  I still have about 62 more pounds to go before I reach my goal weight of 165lbs.  Right now I'm 227.  People tell me that I've lost weight.  But when I look in the mirror, I still see the same old 310 pound me.  I guess I'm just harder on myself more than anyone else could be hard on me.  Although some things I can't help but recognize.  Like the fact that my wedding rings have fallen off my finger because they no longer fit.  And neither do any of my old clothes.  I've gone from a size 28/30 to a 18/20 in these 3 months since my surgery.  I also notice I have a lot more energy and I don't breathe as hard when I climb the stairs in my house.  I no longer have sleep apnea and I've tossed that darn cpap machine to the wind!! Hoo-ray and thank God for that.  So, I guess I do notice a lot of positive things.  But it's all happening so quickly that I guess it hasn't caught up to my brain to let me see my weight-loss in the mirror.  Because honestly--I don't see it!!  Am I weird or what?  Anywho, hopefully this summer I can walk the entire zoo with my children and my husband. Last summer I couldn't because I became so tired after a few minutes, I had to let my husband take the kids to walk, while I sat on a bench--breathing as hard as a race-horse!  Seeing the sadness in my kids eyes when I couldn't walk with them broke my heart. And it was a turning point in my life.  I promised myself I would never put them through that again.  And that their mama will be able to play, walk and even run with them while they were still young enough to enjoy it.  I am keeping that promise.  If for no one else, for them. ~~Will post again soon.  Hope you like the new pics. I've been promising for a while, I know. 

Hello to everyone! 

Especially all those extra special friends I have acquired since joining this site (you know who you are).  Let me begin by apologizing, sincerely, deeply and humbly for my extended absence.  But please know it could not be helped.

As my last entry indicated, I had my VSG as scheduled.  And the initial surgery went well.  However, what I had not planned for was the infection that I had received (MRSA), which is a serious type of Staph infection.  I was released from my initial VSG surgery 2 days after the surgery.  Only to return to the hospital to have an additional 3 surgeries to remove the infection, which had settled in the upper part of my stomach.

Needless to say friends, I've been ill.  To put it mildly, I've been sick (literally).  The first surgery (following the VSG) to remove the infection was done laproscopically.  My hospital stay was approximately 2 weeks.  When my temperature spiked again, along with other serious symptoms, my surgeon told me to come back in again.  More tests were ran only to find the infection was still there.  So they went in me again.  This time the old fashion way by cutting me down my middle, with the purpose of getting ALL the infection out. PAINFUL! PAINFUL! PAINFUL.  This particular hospital stay was approximately another 2-3 weeks.  4 days upon release again, my temp spiked to 104, vomiting, bloody stool and urine, weakness, etc.  My surgeon told me to come in again.  This time he said they needed to wash the area of my stomach out which carried the infection, to make absolute sure it was all gone.  They needed to do this in the operating room and under general anesthesia, so to me, this was surgery AGAIN!  That hospital stay was for exactly 1 week.  When I was released, I had to have at-home IV antibiotics, administered from a home-health care nurse for 2 weeks.  In addition to my other antibiotics.

It's been almost 3 weeks now since I've been home, and I'm recovering, slowly but surely. THANK MERCIFUL GOD!  I don't know what I would have done without my family being there for me this whole time.  My loving husband took extended family leave from his job so that he could be MR. MOM while I was in the hospital.  He's done everything from cook for the girls, help them with homework, vaccum, wash dishes, cook, clean the house, attend PTA meetings and even comb their hair! (I never knew he could comb hair!). He did all of this, while still managing to visit me at the hospital everyday.   My mother had been by my side the entire time I was in the hospital.  Helping me walk and care for myself.  She comes over everyday to change and dress my incisions. I am truly blessed.

As it stands now, I'm still not strong enough to return to work yet. Thank God I have lots of sick and annual leave on my job.  Right now, I have a drain on the right side of my stomach and an open wound in the front of my stomach which requires packing with gause everyday.  Some days I'm really, really weak.  And others, I can feel my old self returning.  The hardest part of being in the hospital for so long was being away from my children and husband.  That was the hardest part.  But I'm greatful to be home.  Even though I still can't fufill all my normal "mommy" duties, I do try, and my husband is a God-Sent blessing!

Well friends, for all those who were wondering about me, that's where I've been.  Pray that I continue to fully recouperate. ---Oh, hey yeah, one more thing....I've lost 62 pounds since my surgery on 9/9/.   WHOO HOO! On the day of surgery I was 310lbs.  As of today, I'm 248lbs-- and it hasn't even been 2 months yet.  So I am definitely pleased with that.  My wedding rings have fallen off my finger and I have no clothes to fit me like they used to, but hey...who's complaining?? Definitely NOT ME!!!

Good Luck to all of you on your weight loss journeys.  Remember, this is for our health!

Thanks and GOD BLESS!

Ok OH Fam,  I am really starting to freak out now. Up until this point, I've been filled with too much anticipation to be nervous.  But now, I'm nervous as hell!  And I'm filled with all kinds of questions and doubts like: why am I going to do this to myself? Is this what I really want/need?  Why don't I just call them in the morning and tell them nevermind about the surgery.  I know I'm trippin' but these are the crazy thoughts that have been hammering my brain today.  I know it's crazy!  Deep down I also know the real reasons why I came to this decision.  My 2 precious daughters, and my loving husband.  I want to do anything and everything I can to maximize the years of my life left to spend with them.  I know that all things are in GOD's hands.  And I truly believe He showed me that this is the thing I need to do.

Ok, on to other things.....3rd day of this damn liquid diet.  I am so hungry I could eat a baby calf and his mama! But I won't.  Quite honestly though, after the 1st day of being so hungry, it kind of goes away.  That is until I think about the fact that I haven't eaten any REAL food in 3 days.  ONLY liquids. 

Well folks, tomorrow is the day.  The hospital called me this afternoon and told me I needed to be there for 8:30am.  Why so early and my surgery isn't until noon is beyond me. But hey, I'm not complaining.  If they needed me to camp out there tonight I would.  If it means I'm finally going to have this surgery, I wouldn' mind.  .  My bag is packed and for some reason I just can't keep still today. .  I vacuumed the entire house, dusted all the wood furniture, cleaned out my children's closet, rearranged the bookshelf.... the list goes on.  I'm driving my poor husband up a wall.  Because every where he goes to sit, I'm asking him to lift up his legs so that I can clean under that table or on that spot on the carpet. Poor thang.  I'm blessed though.  So very blessed. My hubby took off this entire week to be at home with his wifey, to wait on me hand and foot. (How sweet of him! )  And you best be sure I'm going to take him up on every bit of that offer too! . Starting early in the morning when we head out to the hospital.

Well folks, as soon as I'm back home and able to, I'll send you all an update on how things are going. THIS IS IT!!!!!

Peace
Muffie

Ok, this liquid diet is really starting to vex my nerves.  Seems like I see more hamburger commercials than ever before in my life.  I try turning the channel, only to find another hamburger commercial.  So then I stop looking at TV altogether and walk 30 min on my treadmill.  My nurse told me its best to circulate my legs to prevent blot clots during and after surgery.  I've also been practicing my deep-breathing, like they said.  I've been following everything to the T.  I am really proud of myself.  I've never in my life gone 2 full days with absolutely nothing to eat but liquids!  Maybe since as a newborn, but certainly not since passed 4 or 5 months old!!  And certainly not due to my own conscious efforts.  So yay for me!

One more day to go.  And then Tuesday, it's on.  They said I can't consume anymore liquids after midnight tomorrow, but I think I'll go one further and stop the liquids at 6pm. I can do it!  Just think, tommorrow is the last day of my life that I'll officially be a fat person with no hope towards being fine.  Yay Me!!!

Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of me and to the many friends I have acquired on this site.  Especially my little SweetPea who is my favorite friend.  Yea Gurl, you know I have to give you a shout out!  And thanks to everyone else also.  You all know who you are!
 
I don't mean to make this sound like the end, because it's not.  It's just that after my post tomorrow, my next post will be as one who's on the other side (the loser's bench).  I can't wait.

Will blog tommorrow!!
Peace~ Muffie.