myritetodream

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I haven't posted anything in awhile. Things with my weight loss seem to be slow going for me, but at least the scale is moving downward. I've lost 100 pounds so far since this process started. It's been quite a journey so far. I'm not always very happy with some of my eating choices, and since my surgery was the VSG, I don't have dumping so I can get away with eating the wrong things sometimes. Granted, I can never eat very much at one time. Thank God for that! I need to work on getting more protein in and less carbs. Carbs feel good... they don't hurt, but I know that I need to avoid them. It's hard work. WLS is not a quick fix or a "wonder surgery". It is a tool... and YOU have to do the work to make it work. I think I'm really understanding that now.

Life has been so crazy lately, and this definitely affects my weight loss. My husband has been sick on and off and just recently got over a nasty case of cellulitis. It was pretty scary there for awhile. He had to go to the hospital, which is never a good thing. Thankfully he is ok now. There have been family issues going on, friend issues, and general "life issues". Life can be a difficult uphill journey sometimes. But it's worth it people! I can do this. I know I can. I just need to hold on... and keep moving forward.

So I think I'm in the midst of my first, real stall. It sucks.

It's been about 3 weeks and I've stayed the same weight. Still at the 48 pounds gone since surgery place. The only thing that comforts me is the knowledge that this is "normal" and everyone on all my wls sites expresses going through it periodically. It still sucks. I think the worst part is when every week people ask me, "SO...what's the number this week?!" and I want to hide under the nearest table. I hate having to say, "still the same". People seem to look at me and judge me... like I can almost hear their thoughts: Oh she must be doing something wrong, she must be eating too much again. Maybe she is going to fail at this after all?

Ugh. Did I mention this sucks? The thing that sucks the worst is that I haven't really been eating too much. I'm still only about 3 1/2 months out of surgery and I still can only fit about 1/4-1/2 of a cup of food in me at a time. Granted, the food I fit in is not always the "best" choices... but it's not like I'm eating fast food or anything! I'm hopeful this is just my body adjusting and it will pass soon. I'm going to kick up my protein intake and limit my carbs... I've been eating too many carbs I think. Damn carbs... go down SO easy and don't hurt! Why does the chicken and beef always have to hurt?!

Things are going great! I'm getting in all my vitamins and finding that I can eat just about anything in very tiny portions. The best part is... I'm satisfied! It's such an amazing feeling to be able to eat small portions and actually be FULL! I LOVE my sleeve! It was the best decision I have EVER made for myself and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I've lost just under 50 pounds in three months! (I haven't weighed myself in a week and last week I was down 48, so I'm thinking its got to be somewhere around the 50 pounds gone mark!) I've been swimming to get my exercise and I LOVE it! My knees and back have been a serious problem for many years, and I'm finding that swimming is definitely the way to go for me. Walking puts too much impact pressure on my knees and ends up making them ache. I am seeing a specialist now for osteroarthritis (which is what I've been diagnosed with) and she seems to think that once I get most of this weigh off, my knees will stop hurting! I can't wait for that to happen. Daily pain is no fun.

The only thing I'm still having trouble with is getting in enough liquid. I find that I'm just not that thirsty. I know I need to make myself drink more...and I'm trying. I can go WAY too long without having a drink and that is not a good thing. I'm just so sick of Crystal Light and Diet tea. bleh. I am NOT a water drinker. Plain water makes me gag... so I'm trying to experiment with different sugar free beverages to see if I can find one that I can handle.

I broke down and bought myself some new shirts tonight. I know I shouldn't spend the money on new clothes since I won't be able to wear them for long... but I'm SO sick of putting on all my shirts and pants that are huge on me now. I need clothes that fit! Hopefully I can give them to someone who needs them when the time comes.

Its been seven weeks since my VSG surgery. I've lost 32 pounds. I feel like that not very much in 7 weeks.

I can eat more than I should be able to. I feel like that. I'm so scared of letting everyone down... including myself.

I've been so depressed this weekend. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I feel like I went through this surgery for nothing. I feel like I'm losing a battle that is impossible to win.

I'm going to go back to protein shakes for some of my mini meals this week. I'm going to kick up the exercise too. All I really feel like doing is going to bed and staying there.

What's happening to me?

It's crazy... getting used to this new life. I still haven't been able to wrap my brain around the fact that I can only eat about 1/4 cup of food and then I'm full. It's bizarre! I eat this tiny portion of food and feel this fullness... and then look back at my plate and my brain just doesn't seem to understand or register how it's all possible! It's crazy. It's wonderful.

I will be 3 weeks out of my surgery on Monday (in 3 days) and I'm down 20 pounds since the day of my surgery. I think this is good. I know that others lose more than this their first couple of weeks... but I'm 33 years old and I struggled for 6 months to lose the 20 pounds before surgery! I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish... and more than anything, I'm so proud of myself for making this decision, to have this surgery. I truly believe it was the best decision I have ever made for myself.

I am excited and positive about the future, for the first time in a VERY long time in my life. I can't wait to see how much I can lose this year. I plan on starting a morning walk routine in a week (my surgeon told me to wait one more week before starting). If I can make it through these past 6 months of medical testing, dieting, and then MAJOR surgery... I can make it through anything. I'm stronger than I ever believed I was before.

I'm sorry I didn't post sooner. It was a rough week last week. I had my surgery on June 22 around 5 in the evening at Sinai Hospital in MD. Surgery was a sucess. My surgeon said the procedure was "boring"... meaning no problems. Meanwhile, I had to stay in the hospital an extra night because of a UTI (my first one ever) and SEVERE pain. I have never experienced anything like that before in my life. I felt like they weren't giving me "real" pain meds... just blanks. I'm not sure why my pain was so bad, but it didn't really get better until Friday.

I'm doing good so far here at home. My husband has been helping around the house, which has been good. My Mom took care of me like my own personal nurse when my husband was working last week. I'm so blessed to have them both.

I had cramping and pain when anything hit my stomach for til today, actually! As of this morning, I've been able to get everything down with no pain. (thank you God) I am getting in my protein shakes with no issues. No, they don't taste real great... but they are tolerable. I'm able to tolerate milk, which is good. When I'm not drinking a shake I've been sipping on Crystal light and Lipton diet green tea. I pureed some cream of chicken soup last night (with an added a scoup of tasteless protein powder). It was gooood! As long as its pureed enough, it's like a warm, chicken flavored protein shake that you can eat with a spoon!

My only real concern/issue at this point in the hunger! OMGoodness! I didn't realize that there was going to be this much hunger. I thought that the sleeve would take away most of the hormone that causes hunger. And I'm not talking "head hunger" people... I'm talking: My sleeve growls cause it's empty and screaming for food... and I want to eat a sandwich! LOL

Anyone else experience all this horrible hunger right after sleeve surgery??

I can't believe that in two days I'm going to have the gastric sleeve surgery. I'm scared out of my mind!

I'm trying to think positive. I'm focusing on all the good things that are to come and on the importance of making this work for me by following my surgeon's eating plan and joining a gym as soon as possible.

I'm still scared out of my mind right now. I've never had surgery before and the unknown is overwhelming for me. What will it feel like? Will there be much pain? How long til I am feeling human again??

*shiver*

My insurance approved my surgery!

The very nice woman at my surgeon's office who handles the insurance end of things called me yesterday to inform me that my surgery has been approved! She said she wished every insurance company was as easy as mine! Apparently the approval came in super fast. I couldn't be happier.

I'm getting so nervous! Still doing great with my eating plan. Making smart choices. Pounding the protein. cutting the carbs to 2 servings a day. Walking when I can (praying for low pain days which are few and far between lately).

I can't believe in less than two weeks I'm going to start my new life. wow.

Well I'm plugging away... trying to get more of my weight off before my surgery on June 22. I'm living in constant fear now that my surgeon will not be able to do the surgery. I've begun making myself exercise in the evenings and BOY does it hurt. Now the chronic back pain that I've dealt with for over a year now is in FULL force and my knees are "unhappy" too. I'll deal with it. I can't allow any excuses. I need to get more weight off.

My surgeon never said anything to me about a liquid diet (although everyone keeps telling me that he typically does this for people with my BMI range)... so I'm a bit confused about this. Regardless, I'm going to put myself on a liquid diet as soon as the protein shakes and such come in the mail. I'm hoping they will arrive today. It's through a company called Smartforme. Ever heard of it? They sell products specifically made for bariatric patients (pre-opt and post-opt). I'll let ya know how it goes.

Any other suggestions of how to get fat out of your liver before surgery?? I'm open to anything I need to do.. no matter how much it hurts.

I'm happy to report that I have a surgery date! June 22!

I'm unhappy to report that my second encounter with my surgeon was not so good.

I'm excited to have a surgery date and I know that I need to work hard to lose more weight so that on the day of my surgery it is safe to operate. I know all about shrinking the liver and all that jazz. (I swear sometimes I think doctor's assume we are stupid). I've worked very hard the past several months to get off the 14 pounds that I got off.

First of all.. he wrote that I only lost 6 pounds on "charts"! WTF??! Don't cheat me of those 8 extra pounds man!

Second of all, he barely spoke to me at ALL! Forget making small talk. He made it known that I didn't "lose very much weight" (I thought 14 pounds was pretty good considering everything).... and proceeded to type on his computer and frown. I tried to make some small talk... he pretty much ignored me. It was a very uncomfortable appointment. I find myself wondering if this guy has something against me? Besides my name and my medical stats... he knows nothing about me. Why on earth would he dislike me??

I don't know.... I just feel it. Bums me out.

I guess I should consider the fact that not everyone can have everything. I mean, sometimes a person is really intelligent (like a surgeon) but lacks social skills. I know I could never cut anyone open and take out most of their stomach, but I can sure as hell talk your ear off!

So back to working hard on my diet and getting a few more pounds off before the big day. Wish me luck!

Any ideas on a tolerable method to losing a good bit of weight in only 3 weeks..??? I'm open for anything.