Neongem
I was thin til about 2nd or 3rd grade, when I started to get chunky. My mother referred to it as "baby fat," but by age 12 when I was even chunkier I think the "baby fat" thing went right out the window!
I was always the fat girl, never chosen for the team, never asked to rollerskate to the "couples" skate at the roller rink.. you know the deal. But honestly, I was only about 30 lbs overweight. Hell, that is considered average nowadays!
I lost about 30 lbs between 9th and 10th grades and I went down to a size 10. That was the smalles I ever was post-puberty, but I still thought I was fat. I had a woman's shape.. the wide hips, big boobs.. and I thought I was still fat because all of my friends were 99 lbs soaking wet.
My weight slowly crept up again to about 155, and I was a size 16 and a senior in highschool. Of course, I had been dieting on and off since age 12. I can't tell you how many different versions of the weight watchers program I had been on, never losing much weight and giving up.
Once I started college, and was living with my aunt and uncle, that was when I really started to pack on the pounds. I graduated in 1991 with my associates degree and I was about 185-190. I had stretch marks all over the place. It was then when I said wow, when did I get so fat? And as fat as I thought I was, I would kill to be that weight now!
Between 1991 and 2003 I dieted my way up to 269 lbs. How? I really don't know. I guess bad eating habits and no exercise. I did diet on and off, but would lose no more than 20-30 lbs, get frustrated and quit. Then I would gain back what I lost and then some.
My highest weight was 269. About 2 yrs ago I went back to weight watchers and lost 32 lbs. But then the holidays came and I just kind of never found my way back. Im back up to 255. I was 247 until I took a cruise in February!!.
So... here I am again. Finally deciding once and for all to do this thing. I fear for my future. Im already in chronic pain with my ankles and knees.(I am now on celebrex) I have edema in my calves and ankles. (I am now on a diuretic and can see my ankle bones again!) I tested as having Impaired glucose tolerance back in 2003, which is the precursor to diabetes. In 10 yrs I will be 47 yrs old. I fear what my life will be like if I dont get off this weight.
I would also like to have a child. (We won't talk about the fact I don't have one required element needed for me to get pregnant.........sperm!) But I will not get pregnant at this weight. If my ankles are swollen NOW, what would they be like during pregnancy?
So...........wish me luck! My surgical consult is June 6th, 2007.
