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Hard to believe tomorrow will be two weeks since the start of my new life!

I'll back up to the day before surgery... I did the bowel prep, but the first bottle didn't get things moving enough so I had to send my son to Walgreens for some more.. half way through the second bottle I felt a familiar rumble.  My doorbell rang and I didn't dare answer it lest I be too far from the bathroom.  It turns out that a girlfriend of mine dropped off a "goodie basket" with bubble bath, facial treatments, body scrub, lotion, books and magazines.. It was WONDERFUL and very thoughtful.

My last meal was a Culvers turtle shake and a bacon butterburger.  I was so nervous I hardly enjoyed it... I slept pretty well believe it or not.

Woke up and showered and before I knew it the time came to leave for the hospital.  My parents picked me up and their nervous energy was really cutting into my calm.  I was taken into a small room where they took my clothes and put me in the lovely gown that would be my wardrobe for the next few days.  I was surprised to see it was actually roomy for me... they also gave me a robe and some fuzzy slipper socks.  i answered all the usual health history questions.. had my BP taken and my weight.  I was UP 5 pounds from my final weigh in - is that even possible when you hardly eat for days and do a colon cleanse?  Apparently so..   After that piece was done I was ready to go to the pre-op area to get my iv and meet with the surgeon and anesthesiologist.

I told my parents I had to go alone and they assumed it was a rule - but it was really just that their hovering made me tremendously more nervous.  I kissed and hugged them goodbye - assured them I would in fact wake up after the surgery and was on my way.

The pre-op area was quiet, dark and peaceful.  I got the iv, talked to the anesthesiologst and the doctor.  They gave me something to calm me down and help me sleep and the next thing I knew I woke up in recovery to nurses saying "Stephanieeeeee wake up honey" 

**VERY IMPORTANT IF YOU HAVE GLASSES - PLEASE MAKE SURE TO TAKE NOTE OF THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH***

Never, ever ever leave your glasses with anyone other than your family if you need them to see!  I was told the nurses would put them in a bag with my clothing and they would get them to me right after the surgery.  My glasses were missing for 4 hours after surgery.  @#$@#  I cannot see a thing without them so this was devastating.

I woke up feeling extremely nauseous and was terrified I was going to throw up and make my new pouch explode right off the bat.  I told the nurse I felt sick, and would she PLEASE get me something for nauseau.. She was so kind and ran right away - as soon as she plugged that stuff into my IV I felt better.  I am so glad that I read on this board that I should ask right away.. I have learned so much here..

3 hours later I went up into my room and still had no glasses... my back hurt and was nauseous again.  I asked for more meds and they got them for me right away.

I was surprised how much my back hurt - but those hot blankets helped tremendously!  Surgery was at 12:30 and by 9:00 at night I felt awesome.  No more nausea.. I could see (thanks to the nurse that found my glasses) and had very little pain.. Mostly just a sore back.

The next morning I did the swallow test - and was terrified when they told me to drink down the cup of dye stuff.  All I ever heard on here was tiny sips.. .and now they are telling me to DRINK it.  I was terrified I would make my pouch explode.  Fortunately it didn't.  It was a bit uncomfortable to drink that thick fluid so fast and it tasted horrible - but it was doable.

When I got back up to my room I was rewarded with some medicine cups 1/2 full of 1/2 ounce of water and learned to re-learn my concept of drinking.

PIECE OF CAKE!  I was keeping everything down with no problems.  I felt so good I went for about 10 walks that day.  I was up and down out of bed and the chair and felt really restless.  By 3 I was ready for a nap - but they only let you sleep for an hour so you can get your fluids in.  Slept really well 2nd night and on the 3rd day I got up, dressed and put on makeup.  I was sitting in the chair when the doctor came in.  He was very pleased with how well I was doing and it made me feel better too.

Getting my fluids in has been fine.. I haven't needed any pain meds since 2 days after the surgery.  Tylenol is doing the trick just fine every 4 - 6 hours.  I feel great, have a ton of energy and other than head hunger I am doing ok with eating too.

Day 13 and I am down 20 pounds.  No complaints here... Will update more in a few weeks at 1 month.  Very much looking forward to pureed foods tomorrow!

Boy have I done a crappy job of updating this!   No time like the present right?

So far things have all fallen right into place (I'm almost scared to say that for fear of jinxing it)

- I go for a nutritionist appointment - Get the reimbursement check from my HSA before I even get the bill, I pay the bill. 

- I'm done with the psychologist appointment and testing. 

- Did the initial bloodwork at my first visit. 

- I've met with the Dr., both nutritionists and yesterday met with Dr. Benn my surgeon.  Originally I was going to go with Dr. Pierce, but decided I really want the doctor with the most experience in the practice doing my surgery.  Seeing as my sons really only have me to rely on, I'm trying to stack this deck with as many aces as I can!

What a great guy.  I was totally at ease with him.  He answered most of my questions before I even had a chance to ask them.  He answered the questions I did have without hesitation and we even had a few laughs in the process.

The down side of the appointment was that I GAINED a pound since my last visit.  I have cut out all processed sugar and even have been staying away from sugar free "treats" because it just tends to make me crave more.  I haven't been drinking - eating out nearly as often (from weekly to once every few weeks) and when I do I am very careful about what I order.  I've been walking Karma (my yorkie) almost 3 miles every day during the week.  Working out at LifeTime 2-3 times a week on weights and moving all I can. 

I immediately burst into tears when that scale went up!  Gina was very understanding and sympathetic.  After all, we big girls can fluctuate 5-6 pounds a day based on whether we've had a good poo or not.. ha ha ha   On the serious side, I did express my great concern that I was trying about as hard as I could to do all the right things and the weight was still not coming off.  DAMN THIS STUBBORN BODY OF MINE!  It does reinforce why I am choosing this surgery in the first place though.. I cannot get it off by myself.  Somehow, some way - I have to get that 10 pounds off before my surgery can be scheduled.  For now we are going to up my fat and carb intake - resulting in more calories and see if that helps.  It is entirely possible that I need MORE calories to lose weight.  Huh.. Well I'll try anything at this point.

According to Blue Cross (called today) I should submit in May for approval as that will be my 6th consecutive monthly visit.  Their new policy seems to be a bit too ambiguous for the coordinator at Fairview.. so we are going to "try" for approval in May and hope for the best. 

Part of me is scared shitless - that the surgery won't work.. and my body will continue to be stubborn and not give up the weight.  Logically I know this is not possible, but emotionally it scares me.

The other part of me is excited as hell.  I go out on the boards and see people that have lost 60-90 pounds since December and I think to myself "Wow.. that could be me by Thanksgiving" 

I voraciously pore over before/after photos and sometimes find myself in tears - because I cannot even imagine what it would be like to be smaller like that.  I'm sure I'm a big dork for feeling that way, but it's how I feel right now I guess.

I'm reading everything I can get my hands on, talking to people - begging for information, advice, tips/tricks.  I'm printing off things for future reference such as recipes or remedies.  I'm making a mission statement for myself to help me stay on track and remember WHY I am doing this.

I read the boards and see folks that are stumped as to why they are not losing as fast as others and yet they readily admit to eating a bite of cake, some crackers, pasta.. a sandwich (with bread), alcohol within the first 6 months...  I take that information and file it away under "things not to do" - or rather "things I will not do"

It already amazes me the number of people that cannot handle the fact that you are not eating a part of your meal, or having dessert.  "Don't you just want to have a little?"  "Can't you just have a few bites, seriously it won't hurt you!".  I am learning to graciously say "No thank you" "Don't need it" "Can't have it" "Not hungry for it" ...

Drinking while eating is still a challenge, it is a lifelong habit - and it's really hard to deprive myself of it when I can technically still do it.  I know that this will not be difficult after surgery - because it just has to be that way... for now that is the one thing I haven't totally adhered to to prepare for the surgery.

Within two months I hope to be back on here posting "Surgery went great, drinking and walking and looking forward to the rest of my life"  That will be a GREAT day!

January 21st, 2009

Went to my first support group meeting last night.  There was someone there from Hoiggards that taught us about Nordic Walking.  It sounds like fun actually - I am going to have to research that further.

I would say 2/3 of the people in the room were people that had already undergone surgery and the rest of us were there for our first time.

It was quite inspiring to see how successful all the people in that room have been.  Perhaps part of the reason they were so successful is that 2 years + out they are still attending support group meetings? 

Changing gears, a friend of mine told me about her sister that had WLS 4 years ago, she dropped about 150 pounds from a size 28 to a size 4.  She has now ballooned back up to a size 16.  She told me that everyone was afraid to say something to her about he regain. . . "How do you approach someone about that without seeming mean?" she asked.  I said "I will want people to tell me if they see me packing the pounds back on.  I am not taking this drastic of a measure only to misuse the new 'tool' I am being given."

So I made a decision - I'm going to make up some wallet size cards and laminate them.  On it, they will say:

You asked me to hand this card to you if I see you have gained a noticeable amount of weight.. to help you get back on track, before things got unmanageable again.

You intended for this to be a loving reminder of how hard you worked to get to this point and also to be a sign of my support for what you are trying to accomplish.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you get back on track... I love you..

Keep on.. Keepin on!