N W.
Okay, so ... Hi! 
First, you see that avatar photo? That really IS me, I swear! I wish I could remember how much I weighed then. That was 2001, I was in my first month of pregnancy with my first child. I was so happy and it showed. Later, when I drag out my scanner, I'll post a couple of photos of me in my ninth month. They're some of my favorites of myself. Hugely pregnant, but glowing.
Two years (give or take) I was pregnant with my second. This time, having not lost the weight from my first, I tipped the scales at 200+ and developed gestational diabeties. By the ninth month this time around it's shocking - I look about ten years older (if not more), my skin was grayish looking, dark circles under my eyes and not a glow to be found.
I'm not usually overly critical about myself so when I say I looked awful, I mean I looked AWFUL!
It was also about that time that I found out my dad had been diagnosed with sleep apnea and diabetes. Knowing how much I take after my dad and his side of the family, knowing my paternal grandmother died from complications of diabetes and my own history of gestational diabetes, I saw my life laid out in front of me. Later, I would develop gestational diabetes again in my third pregnancy - another nail in my coffin.
I don't think I have even a single picture of me during that one - who needed to see how much worse I'd look in those? Not me! I was 20 lbs heavier, had gestational diabetes again and as if that weren't enough, I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. Another nail. That was all I needed to know, I certainly DID NOT need it illustrated in photos.
Being in shock and upset lasted a couple of weeks - long enough to confirm the diagnosis and run more tests to tell me what was going on in my liver. Viral load wasn't too high and it wasn't active - the good news, if you want to call it that. About this time, I decided I wanted to hunt down my ex-husband and shoot him. Luckily for him, he could not be found.
(So kidding! I'm not the homicidal type, but I was PISSED! And, it's true, I couldn't track him down.)
HepatitisC AND gestational diabetes? WTF? I really pissed someone off up there, I'm afraid.
The first time (in several years) I researched WLS , I hit a brick wall. I didn't have insurance and couldn't afford to pay out of pocket. Now, due to the aforementioned medical issues, I'd never get it. At least none that I could afford. I gave up.
Years and another child later - oh, and the HepC, let's not forget - I decided to look into WLS again. I still wasn't insured, but over the years I'd been working at improving my credit and thought if I could just get financed I'd be willing to pay it off for the rest of my life if that's what it took. (Yeah, just a bit desperate.) That's when I found Care Credit.
I read. And, read some more. The whole time thinking, "I'm seriously wasting my time."
And, I was right.
The surgery cost was near $15,000 - they approved me for $4,500. Bastards! 
I was disappointed for a while, but then thought - "Oh well, I guess I can get the dental work I need done with that since I don't have dental either." I told myself that for a couple of weeks.
But, and I'm sure I don't have to tell anyone here how it is, I just couldn't let it go. Soooo, in a last ditch effort, I called a bariatric clinic in Dallas and spoke to the receptionist. I told her about the situation and how I wanted to find out if there was another way to finance the costs that Care Credit wouldn't. A few questions later and she puts me on hold. When she comes back on the line she tells me she spoke to Care Credit on my behalf and they had agreed to raise my limit to $15,000!
$15,000?! Holy crap on a cracker !
So, yadda yadda .... yadda.
I initially wanted the lap band, but after research and a WLS class, I changed my mind to the sleeve. I have my pre-op testing on the 12th, and barring any problems there, my surgery is 9:30 a.m. on the 18th (Dec. 2008). I really can't believe it yet. Surreal? Uhh, yeah.
I am beyond anxious and a little nervous. Mainly because I've never been put under or intubated. Kinda freaks me out, but I'm trying not to think about that part. I'm trying hard to remember that the surgery is going to cancel out two serious knocks against my liver. I'll always have HepC - but that's a better future than the one where I become a fat diabetic with HepC and a failing liver. 
(Also, I've been a smoker for 20+ years and am now quitting! Doing great!)
Don't feel sorry for me. I don't! To anyone else but me, this is gonna sound insane, but being diagnosed with HepC was one of the best things to happen to me. Everyone thinks they're invincible - until 30'something, at least. Then, something happens that makes us realize we are so not! Gray hair, kids running you ragged, love handles etc. etc.- or, HepC. I don't think I'd be on this journey towards getting healthier at this point in my life had the diagnoses not brought me down to earth and given me a swift kick in the mortal butt.
So, God works in mysterious ways. And, I'm just gonna trust that if I do what I can to take care of myself, he'll handle the rest.
