Phenomenalfemale

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So, here I sit, drinking my Phospho-Soda, and hoping that things speed up here soon....and after being on a strict diet for one week and working out daily, I have gained a pound...can't explain that one bit, y'all.

It's the eve of my surgery, and I am ready!!! I carry with me the well wishes of many people who care, and that means the world to me.

Wish me well, more to come....a new chapter will be written.

Well, I continued to drop a little more weight, all a good thing. So, just by eating a protein shake each morning, having a low sodium soup for lunch with a fruit cup or piece of fruit, and a light meal in the evening, I have been able to do what the clinic has asked. 

Monday I will start a liquid diet, as Tuesday morning I am expected at the hospital at 5:30am. I have to drink that Fleet's Phospo stuff also, hope that there are no issues there.

My friends and coworkers have been so supportive-truly beyond my wildest dreams. And, I have the greatest gift in my friend ***, who is my surgery angel. She is 1 yr post op herself, and she will be there with me.

I am ready!

Have a great week everyone~

Alert, alert! I survived the weekend. Yes! I am now on protein shakes, veggie soups, and light, light evening meals with 2 100 calorie protei bars a day.

I sat in my office today while they had TWO office parties, and avoided them both 100%.

I've worked out the past 2 nights for an hour and a half.

I am ready!

Here is an excerpt from an email I recently sent a new found friend on OH: 

“So, I am in the doghouse. I went to my PCP for my pre-op physical, and as you know they have an online charting system. Well, my weight got entered into the system (even though their scale isn't the same as the clinic's), and I was up 1 lb and 2 ounces.  So, I got a call Friday from *****.  Basically, I am on a liquid diet until surgery....oh well. No last supper of anything :) Let's just say the appeals process has been stressful, and this whole damned pre-surgery process has been stressful as well....

So, I went to GNC, and the guy there said there's only one thing they sell that I could safely take before surgery--most of the stuff they sell has herbs or caffeine or other unsafe things, so I am on the Celebrity Juice Diet Saturday and Sunday this weekend, and then a protein shake twice daily with an evening meal of rice and tune or salmon for the remainder of next week before surgery.

May I be frank and say how much I hate dieting? It has never worked for me, and so I really have to reframe this and say it's just for 10 days...but...it's not how I pictured my last week of freedom. I understand why they are freaking out....it's just sad.....I have had a lot of negative feelings about dieting since age 13 (my mom said I was fat at 142 lbs and a size 10 back then, I am 5' 7" and have been since age 14), and I guess there's an oppositionally defiant part of me that wants to tell them to F-off, because I have earned this, have done the work necessary to be successful at this, and there's only 10 days to go.....oh well. I just feel really shamed, and am already anxious about my baby brother coming home (he comes home from 17 months spent in combat in Iraq this Wednesday and will only be here for 14 days before heading back to Iraq for another 6 months, he's a HUGE part of my support system), and sad that he and I will only have 2 days together due to my surgery on the 19th (I was supposed to go home to Iowa to visit him the 18th through the 26th). My brother, who is returning from hell in a sandbox, SWITCHED his flight destination so he could fly into Minneapolis to spend time with me. I am overwhelmed by his support. 

Ah well...there's my pity party. I know it will be worth it in the end, but I thought that my love affair with food would have ended more gently...and I think making someone go on a liquid diet before surgery is just plain mean. That’s the reality of my situation.

…I am going out to Lifetime to workout with my friend *** today (I called her in desperation yesterday saying "Why me?", and she offered to take me to the gym with her today), and I work an overnight shift at work tonight, so I will be busy for 10 hrs with work (work is a great way for me to not think about food---we stay very busy there), and I will be ok. It's only 48 hrs of juice, and then shakes....my colon needs a good cleansing anyway…”

I know this is all worth it in the end…

So, I am NOT going to think about the 6 weeks my case spent in appeals, or the fact that I have been practicing post surgery eating habits for 6 months. I won't even add that I was familiar with all of the material shared today in the pre-op class...last of all, I won't focus on the woman who stood next to me as we weighed in and said "wow, you had to go through all those hoops? i only hopped into the program 2 months ago, my insurance doesn't require anything but a BMI of over 44." 

Instead, I am going to be appreciative that I did know so much of what the nutritionist was reviewing, and how comfortable I felt explaining the ins and outs of the surgical process to my coworkers today.

I am ready, and my resolve is steadfast.