NYC Disaster

Jul 01, 2011

So, yesterday was supposed to be an amazing day hanging out with my GF (her boyfriend calls me her girlfriend and it has stuck.)  She recently graduated with her Masters and my present was a kidnapping to NYC for the day.  Her mom was invited because she is awesome and my GF loves having her around.  We rode the train into NYC and the hell began.  First let me give you a visual of me.  I am 5'6'' and weigh about 280lbs...depending on the day...I carry my weight well or so I thought until yesterday.  I have horrific knees, compliments of the United States Navy and over indulging.  I have had 2 rounds of cortisone injections and a 3 shot series of "fake cartilage" injected into my left knee in the past 3 years alone!!.  Oh yeah, I'm only 31.  A normal day for me is working 12 - 16 hours and I can barely walk down stairs at the end of it.  I sleep on my couch most nights as my bed is upstairs and it's too painful to walk.

  I didn't figure NYC was going to be a problem, cause my GF knows about my knees and my newly added addition of plantar fascitis and a heel spur in my right foot.  Needless to say I'm in constant pain.  So we arrive in Penn Station and we are off to M&M World, the only place my GF requested we visit on this trip.  Well at least my petite and in great shape GF and her equally petite and in great shape mom were off like two fat kids let loose in Willie Wonkas Chocolate Factory.  These two closet fat girls walked so fast that by the time we made it through the mile walk, I was soaked!  Not from the rain either, since it was a gorgeous 72 degrees with a generous breeze.  I was soaked from sweating and breathing like I had just ran a mile.  I kept my cool and went to purchase a t-shirt.  Much to my surprise it was extremely difficult to find a 2X shirt in the damn store.  Seriously is everyone skinny in NYC?  Grrrrrr!  I finally found one, gray of course so that when I sweat again it freaking shows...I change and we start walking again because...yep M&M World doesn't open for another hour!  This time I'm not as hot but pissed that we are 45 minutes into our day and I've already purchased a $27 shirt I would never wear again. 

Fast forward to our cab ride after M&M World.  This cabby was the highlight of my day.  He gave us a true NYC experience and drove like we were being chased my the Mafia.  We thought we were going to die.  It's funny now, but wasn't so funny then. LOL.  So, we arrive at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and proceed to walk throughout all of the exhibits for the next 1 1/2 - 2 hours.  When we leave we, meaning they, decided to walk and enjoy the day.  At first I was onboard until I found out we had just walked 20 minutes in the wrong direction.  UGH hello fat girl here...  So we do an about face and head in the correct direction.  For the next 1 1/2 hours I walked completely alone and talked to myself as to how it was great to be alone.  My GF and her mom walked about 10 feet ahead of my obese, sweating, heavy breathing fat ass with the ocassional looks back to assure I was still in tote.  We walked from the MET to the world’s largest MACY's with a slight break for lunch (at least it is to me...lol).  Even in NYorker lingo that is a long ass walk.  In Tamika lingo that's a FREAKING LONG ASS WALK!  We stopped to eat lunch in a deli, but I'm sure my complaints of there being no where to sit were not welcomed.  We walked next door and enjoyed a sit down lunch in an expensive, but well air conditioned diner.  From there we went to Macy's, which by the way we were on 57th st or ave and we needed to be at 34th....sweet jebus please let me break my ankle or get hit by some crazy NYorker as I cross the street. 

Once we arrive at Macy's I have absolutely no interest in shopping in the petite section nor do I want to help her since I am once again dripping in sweat and now my knees are aching beyond the help of hydrocodone (which I took with my lunch).  So I inform them I am going to sit by the dressing room and wait.  While resting I sent my GF a message on FB apologizing and letting her know that I was just in a lot of pain (which btw she never responded to).  I decided that I would try to be a good sport so I found out where the fattie clothes were.  When they were done I asked if we could visit that section.  They obliged, but much to my surprise they both informed me that they would be waiting at the dressing room.  I was crushed.  Actually wanted to cry, but had to keep it together.  So, I grabbed two items I didn't want and went to try them on.  I told them I didn't want them and we then went shoe shopping.   The shoe shopping wasn’t so bad because I could look through the shoes quickly and sit and rest.  From there we finally took a cab (it was as if the heavens heard me crying inside) to dinner.  Dinner was nice; I was starting to be happy again with the day.  We then took a cab to our show, STOMP, which was amazing and I highly recommend. 

We took a cab to Penn Station and got on our train.  This time I got the impression my GF didn’t want to sit with me, I figured she wanted to sprawl out and sleep since it was 11p and our day started a 5a.  So, I moved up one and much to my surprise her mom sat with her.  They talked while I sat alone and finally went to sleep.  Needless to say I’m sure this is a pitty party.  One I haven’t had in a long time.  But for the first time in quite some time or maybe ever I feel obese.  I feel like my health slowed one of my best friends down from having fun, that I wasn’t fun because I was in pain, and that if I wasn’t there they would have had more fun without me.  I’ve realized for the first time that NO ONE in my life can relate to what I am going through and that I’m truly in this alone.  As I write this I am fighting back tears as I pride myself on not being an emotional person.  I’m posting this in hopes that one of you can relate and help me understand that things will get better and that a year from now  I will forget this pain and that I won’t hold this grudge against my GF that is forming.  It’s forming out of anger of her not walking slower with me, out of her not making sure I was comfortable, out of her not being my GF for the day!!  I love her and don’t want to lose the friendship, but I must admit I’m angry.  Maybe at her, maybe at me, or maybe at us both…

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