Samar M.

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edy Z. 21 years, 10 months ago

Samar, I couldn't help but respond to your message with tears in my eyes. I too have a daughter and she felt much like you do. This surgery has made such a difference in her life. She weighed over 350 and had a hard time getting around, that was 4 months ago. Now she is a different person. She has lost over 80#, she found a job and is going to college. She works out a little at our local gym. She wears make-up occasionally and even dresses nicer too! If you can just hold on to the fact that its only 17 days till you start your new life. A new beginning that will help you not only achieve some weight loss but will help with your self confidence, social issues and relationships. Since she has had this surgery she bloomed into this young woman full of hopes and dreams. You will too! Please take care of yourself and think positive thoughts!!!!

Renee D. 21 years, 10 months ago

Samar - Hang in there. I read your profile. I can clearly see that you love your family.....they are treating you the way they do out of ignorance. You mention that your parents "prefer" that you live with them. Are you able to move out with your daughter?? You WILL make it the next 17 days, and you WILL be successful this time. This is a time to think about YOU and not your family. They can worry about themselves for now. This is not selfishness, it is SURVIVAL. HANG IN THERE...I am praying for you. Renee D

leighsme 21 years, 10 months ago

Your post scares me and makes me cry. I wish I could make you feel better about yourself and your life. Just 17 days to go!! Hang on and fight for your life. Surgery is just around the corner and you will be on your way to a better, happier life, I hope! My life has been filled with suicides. First, my grandfather (before I was born), then my brother's girlfriend (I was 16) and then my father (I was 20 and it was 2 months after I got married and my father didn't come to my wedding)! Your post scares me because you said you would rather die. I am praying for you and your family. You are a very special person at 400 lbs just like you will be very special at 120 lbs.!! If you need to talk, cry, whine or fuss, just email me. I just want to make sure you don't do something that will not let you see your surgery date. Take it one day at a time. Seventeen days will be gone in no time and you will wonder how time passed so quickly. Please take care of yourself and email me if I can help in any way. God bless! Leigh in Alabama

claydeb 21 years, 10 months ago

HANG IN THERE. NEXT SUMMER YOU WILL BE GOING TO THE BEACHES IN FLA WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRL. MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH A SAFE SURGERY AND SPEEDY RECOVERY. DEB

Hellcatmama 21 years, 10 months ago

Samar, Girl, HANG in there!!!! 17 more days and you'll be on the LOSING side!!!!!! We love you girl! God Bless you and Peace~~~

Samar M. 21 years, 10 months ago

I hate my life. I have 17 days for surgery and I can't even be happy. This surgery is my dream.. But these long days before surgery are killing me. I have 17 days for surgery. 17 more days to be looked at like a failure. 17 more days to be looked at as a slob. 17 more days to be looked at as lazy. 17 more days to be looked at as disgusting. 17 more days...anymore and I wish I was dead. I can't take this anymore. I don't want to be around family or friends I don't want to be at work. I don't want to live like this. I want to crawl into a hole but I can't find one that I'll fit in. This is what happened today: My mom took out the garbage bag from the garbage can and set it on the floor to be taken out. She didn't tie it first and went around doing other things before taking it out. Well, clumsy me came into it while passing like I hit into everything else as big as I am. It tipped over and almost everything in it fell out all over the floor. First I had to hear it from my mother. "OMG LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN THE WAY? GO TO YOUR ROOM WHERE YOU'RE ALWAYS HIDING AND STAY THERE WHERE YOU WON'T MAKE ANYMORE MESS" I told her I'll clean it up but anyway when she set it on the floor like that it should have been tied! Well then I started cleaning it up. The mops were dirty being washed so I had to use rags to clean some of that mess up. I couldn't bend over to clean it up so I was using my feet :'( .If I got on my knees to do it, I wouldn't be able to get back up without 3 people's support. I have very bad knees and a very bad back. My sister came in talking about the way I was cleaning..saying "that's not the way it's done" And I kept telling her "Just let me do it my way! I want to do it my way!" She kept nagging about how I don't know how to do anything and said that I am fat because I don't want to move. I dropped everything of course and ran to my room. And I can hear them saying that I am using that as an excuse because I don't want to finish cleaning it up. I cried my eyes out. I hate this. Why don't they understand? Can't they see I'm almost 400 lbs and I'm not as mobile as they are? I feel like locking myself in my room for 17 more days. But if I did that, I wouldn't be able to get in my last meals lol. I hate the fact that my own family can't see my pain...can't see what I'm going through. They support me in the surgery but at the same time think it's an easy way out. I need surgery. I need it yesterday. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to be in pain. Now that I have been approved and now that I have a date, I still have to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming. I still feel that it's too good to be true for me. Will I make it 17 more days? Will I have surgery on September 9, 2002? I hope so. Please everyone pray for me. I am praying for everyone who has had surgery already and those who are having surgery soon. Good luck to all of you on your journey. You guys are my lifeline. If I didn't have you guys, I would have nobody to talk to. From the bottom of my heart...thank you..all of you. I love you guys.

RODEO CLOWNS S. 21 years, 10 months ago

Best wishes to you. May all of your sweetest dreams come true.

Lisa Marie S. 21 years, 10 months ago

Samar, Good luck with your surgery. May God bless you and keep you safe. May He guide your surgeon's hand. Lisa Marie

Karen B. 21 years, 10 months ago

Hello Samar~~~Your emotions are all too common, at least here they are. I know just how you feel, when is it going to end? Why don't people think fat people have any feelings? Thank God for WLS and hearing our cries and answering our prayers. I want to wish you all the best life has to offer. God be with you. PEACE

Becca K. 21 years, 10 months ago

Hi Samar~“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” William Jennings Bryan I am wishing you all the best for the next chapter of the rest of your life.