shayisshrinking

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I haven't posted in a while, so here goes! I'm excited to say that at nearly 2 1/2 years post op that I've still maintained my weight loss. My goal was 140 and I usually fluctuate between that and 135 lbs.  Anemia is a serious beast, I've had 2 blood transfusions and 4 wks of iron infusions as of current date.  Overall I'm happy and hold no regret for anything done! A very dear friend of mine had RNY on 12/03/12 and so far she's doing that damn thang! She was supportive of me through a lot of my trials. I constantly look back at old pics and I'm still amazed at what this surgery has done for me. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd she'd the weight that plagued me for so long.  It's still weird running into people who haven't seen me since my surgery...half don't recognize me, the others congratulate me on maintaining the loss.  I'm slowly coming to the realization that I will NEVER love to exercise, my sacrifice was to let go of my sweets and fried foods.  6 months ago I went on the craziest of binges eating like there was no tomorrow.  I got to 155 lbs, busted the zipper on my favorite jeans, and that moment of not being able to fit them anymore was my reality check.  For 3 wks I went back to drinking my Chike protein shakes twice a day, eating a moderate lunch, and using yogurt and fruit as in between snacks. In that period of time I lost the weight and also regained my focus.  That big girl inside me is still alive and kicking, I can't afford to trick myself into thinking I can eat whatever I want again.  I'm thankful for this site.  Coming into this I didn't have any support. From the different articles to the various forums, I've learned a lot of things. The people on this site are so supportive, I honestly can't think of any question that I asked that didn't get an answer.  In closing I just wanted to say hello to all who may read this.  If you're post op...I wish you continued success wherever you may be in your journey. Those pre op...I wish the best of luck.  It's a long road but it's worth it.  

4 more pounds until I reach my goal weight of 140 lbs!!!! Sept 28th will be a full year since having my RNY!!!

Hello again OH friends! It's been a minute since my last post and all is extremely well. I'm down to the mid 160's and love where I am in life and with my weight loss (minus the lil things like my bat wings---lol) I've since become the most social, confident feeling, fun loving, shopaholic! Dating is still a process of adjustment but it's going along fine. But I cant lie...it feels damn good to going from being no one of interest to actually having men and just other people in general treat me differently as a whole. Like it or not looks matter and they matter a lot.  I havent lost any hair to where anyone other than myself would notice, and I havent dumped either (not that I want to). Diet wise I could probably get myself back on track a little bit better but overall I still manage to take my vitamins, most of my protein, and excercise...to say the least I still hate exercise. I have another friend whose on her path now and is working towards lap band so wish her the best ya"ll because I surely am. On my best note of all I'm down to a size 8/9 from a 10/11 since my last pics were posted 3 mnths ago---I'm also down another 13 lbs frm 178 which was what I weighed then. My surgeon says 140 shld be my goal, but now that I've fallen where I am now I kinda like where I'm at right now. Besides I'm in the south and they like 'em thick here so I gotta hold on to my hips! I've seen a lot of new pics as well and want to congratulate everyone else on their success as well. Live life, love life and enjoy life...

I'm sooo loving my decision to have RNY. I never would have thought that 60 pounds would make such a big difference in life. I returned back to work on 12/20 after being out since my surgery.  I swear it was the best feeling to see everyone's reaction, some people didnt even recognize me @ 1st. I'm down to a sz 10 pants-medium tops and dresses frm a 16/18 pre-op size...and 178 lbs frm 238 lbs. I love shopping and enjoy knowing I can go into any store and find whatever I want. No more banishing myself to the plus sized section of any store. I love the attention I get as well. Overall I feel so much better and know that my quality of life is better as well. I've also went on my 1st date since my ex and in discussing what out likes and dislikes were in other people, he made it known that he doesn't date "fat" women or ones who he feels have nothing going on for theirselves.  I still have days where the "fat girl" mindset takes over and I know it takes time for the minds perception to catch up with the body's appearance.  I sat there for a minute and then thought about it. If he's telling my this and @ the same time saying we need to go out again then I'm obviously not one of those fat women he's finds unattractive anymore. . . (ego boost!)  I still know in the back of my mind that 3 mnths ago things would have panned out differently--but I'm the same person fat or not who loves herself and life so much more now.  My 2nd WOW moment happened while signing my son @ school and one of his friends said out loud "Jay, is that your mama? Your mama looks GOOOD!!! I tld him thanks and left the school. Flash back 3 years ago when my son was in the 4th grade my son was suspended from school for punching a kid in his class for blurting out I was fat in their classroom one day dropped him off. The feelings then in relation to how I feel now are on complete opposite ends of my mental spectrum now. RNY got me here and I love it. I go back to my dr for my 6 mnth followup in March and cant wait to see what my progress will be then.  I have about 40 more lbs to go until I reach my goal weight and when I do I'm one way to Jamaica Mon!!!!!  

I underestimated what RNY would do for me. I've seen all of everyone else's profiles and pictures and thought to myself that'll never be me. I'm not where I want to be but I'm on my way there. To be 47 pounds down in 2 months still seems unreal to me. I still cant grasp my mind completely that I'm a size that I dont feel embarrassed to tell anyone. I'm a 14 down from an 18/20 depending on the make of the clothing. I still have me days to where I feel fat (my underarms still jiggle!) but overall I remain overjoyed in knowing I made the right chice for myself versus listening to everyone talk me out of it. I like shopping now, I can wear knee boots with sweater dresses, nothing I wear says xl ot xxl, and people respond differently to me at a smaller size. I'm noticed and receive stares and still find it funny how almost 50 pounds ago no one did---it's not like they visually missed seeing me, they just didn't care to notice. As of today I see my confidence starting to take off. I spend so much time getting ready to do the smallest of things. I'm in the salon every 2 wks for hair and nails. I love wearing makeup and keeping my overall look together. I wear colors now-colors to me 2 months ago consisted of grey, black, maybe navy at the most. My therapist who evaluated me prior to/after surgery said I did it to make myself less obvious. I can probably contest to that because I didnt feel pretty and would tend to shy away from a lot of things with my friends socially. We could hang out at someone's house all night but to go to a club with them HELL TO DA NAW!!!!! I no longer feel the need to shy away and hide. RNY for me so far has been empowering. I also like that I look and feel younger like I thing of so many on here. Weight not only hinders our daily lives, riddles most with embarassment, attacks our overall heath and well being-weight also ages...well at least it did for me. I no longer have my issues with sleep apnea nor am I in my pre-diabetic danger zone. I have more energy than ever and expect in time to feel even better than what I do now as I continue down this path. I set small goals silly goals and reached my 1st. I got into a pair skinny jeans-the world couldnt tell me anything. Next goal is to be in a 12 by New Years and the goal following is to look smoking hot by March because the CIAA events are going to be held here...so far thats all I have more to come after I knock out those three completely. I of course cant post all my good without the bad. I like most people did go through a sever buyers remorse period. Mine lasted the first full month. I was nauseus all the time and it worsened to the point I was unable to keep water down. My lesson learned here was to listen to my body. I failed to go to my doctor when this initally became an issue thinking it would pass. WRONG! Fast forward 1 wk I finally went to the ER one night. They drew blood work to tested my vitals because I appeared weak. The blood work came back noting my potassium was at 2.3 from a normal 4.5 or higher. I was told that cardiac arrest happens when it's that low. They later did a CT scan to see if there was anything wrong with my pouch or opening and prior to doing so I had to drink some liquid. When I went back to the scanning room they placed some dye into my IV and thats when all hell broke loose. The doctors later said it triggered my heart into arrhythmia which had they not been able to control it would have then sent me into cardiac arrest. I felt as though I nearly lost my life on some quick pass to be thin and had deep remorse for having the surgery>not really acknowledging that my lack of attention to the severity of my situation played a part as well>>>CONSTANT NOTE TO SELF...PAY ATTENTION TO MY BODY...I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH!!! Fast forward another month through today and I have no issues, no pain, no sickness, I'm not on any meds, I feel good, and it's because of my RNY.

I've finally gotten around to another post...so far I'm down 45 pounds!!!!! I'm down from a size 18 to a size 14 without the muffin top!!!! I still struggle with exercise and honestly dont think I'll ever enjoy doing it, however I do it because I know I have to (the fact that I can wear skinny jeans doesn't hurt either) I love the chanegs I've noticed so far and cant wait to see what's in the future as I move towards a skinnier me! Even now I notice stares and glances that I didnt get at all before, Im still not used to it @ all...I just grin, bat my eyes, and wave. I also had that first wow moment in Old Navy trying on coats. Prior to RNY depending on the make I'd need either a XL/XXL coat for it to fit comfortably. Not now...I put on a large, buttoned it, and was able to move around in the coat without any issue. I stood there just staring @ myself in the coat IN A FULL BODY MIRROR twisting and turning because I DIDNT BELIEVE IT!!! Im gonna have to hurry up and get my pics up!!! 

I began my liquid diet on 9/14 and I'm down 13 lbs from my last pre-op that same day. I cant believe I finally reached this point because it took forever. I took pics of myself the night prior to starting it and took another one a week later wearing the same dress as a visual reference and even then saw a DIFFERENCE! I cant wait to see what's to be after the surgery and   I'm excited to find out. 9/28/10 is my day so I'll soon find out.

I'm having my surgery next month and the closer I get to my date, the more scared and anxious I see my self becoming.  I'm ready to have it, dont get me wrong but I'm scared of what life will be like after the fact. Food for me has been my crutch-take it away...THEN WHAT??? I've had my doctor and theraphist warn me of transfer addictions I need to be quickly tackle them before they get out of control. I new when I started this process there would be a downside and that having the RNY would ultimately come with it's cost. Now that my days are winding down, my thoughts are all starting to hit me at once. Thoughts like what if it goes wrong, what if I waste away to nothing, how to accept new attention in the same vain world that doesnt accept me now (sad to say-I'm used to not having it), and the list goes on. I'm doing this for me, against the disapproval of my mom and sister. Some know of my plans, but most still dont so for me I also have the issue of not really having many to relate to either. I'm going through with it though, I've gone through too much headache and wasted time just to get a date to begin with. I know I'll do fine if I stick to the scrpit, but had to get the jitters out somehow.  

I've been through 3 different doctors, 2 attempts to stop smoking, some minor insurance issues, and a job change. This whole journey has taken me through hell and back to get a scheduled date---I'm soooooo excited to say I have one set for 09/28/2010 and I cant wait!!! I start my liquid diet on 09/14----wish me luck!!!!!!

I've successfully remained smoke-free for 8 wks...YAYYY!!! I finally received the final clearance to proceed with my WLS process! OMG, I had no idea it would seem so grueling just to be skinny! I cant add the word "again" to the last sentence-I don't know what skinny feels like but I'm sure I'll love it (lol). Nothing worth having comes easy...I guess, still I feel the end result will be worth it. My last step (as so I'm told)  is to have an endoscopy which I have next Friday on the 18th. I spoke to my surgeon's office last Monday and everything is in check with my file.  I can't wait to start posting my progress pics, as of right now the camera and I just really aren't feeling one another. This will be the best start to my new year I could ever have. I see now that a date for me should clear next month since my dr. says BCBS is usually quick on their approvals-usually in 36 hrs they call back I'm told. I'm so glad my company didn't drop them from our plan as they originally started, I would have hated to start over again under Aetna or Cigna. I'm 6 mnths into this process and I'm so ready to get a date and a mini-vacation in the process. My family finally seems to be on board with my choice and that feels good as well. I'm starting to get more support from them as well.  I still receive a few snide remarks here and there, and as always I ignore them...my brother said he'll pray I dont end up looking like a bobble-head (jack-ass), hell I hope I dont either. I think I'll close this one, thanks OH for all of your support and nice words you're really the ones that made this easy for me. My next post I promise will have a date so pray this goes through for my. My dues have been paid in full-it's my time to shine.