I'M STARTING TO LOVE ME AND MY RNY

Dec 02, 2010

I underestimated what RNY would do for me. I've seen all of everyone else's profiles and pictures and thought to myself that'll never be me. I'm not where I want to be but I'm on my way there. To be 47 pounds down in 2 months still seems unreal to me. I still cant grasp my mind completely that I'm a size that I dont feel embarrassed to tell anyone. I'm a 14 down from an 18/20 depending on the make of the clothing. I still have me days to where I feel fat (my underarms still jiggle!) but overall I remain overjoyed in knowing I made the right chice for myself versus listening to everyone talk me out of it. I like shopping now, I can wear knee boots with sweater dresses, nothing I wear says xl ot xxl, and people respond differently to me at a smaller size. I'm noticed and receive stares and still find it funny how almost 50 pounds ago no one did---it's not like they visually missed seeing me, they just didn't care to notice. As of today I see my confidence starting to take off. I spend so much time getting ready to do the smallest of things. I'm in the salon every 2 wks for hair and nails. I love wearing makeup and keeping my overall look together. I wear colors now-colors to me 2 months ago consisted of grey, black, maybe navy at the most. My therapist who evaluated me prior to/after surgery said I did it to make myself less obvious. I can probably contest to that because I didnt feel pretty and would tend to shy away from a lot of things with my friends socially. We could hang out at someone's house all night but to go to a club with them HELL TO DA NAW!!!!! I no longer feel the need to shy away and hide. RNY for me so far has been empowering. I also like that I look and feel younger like I thing of so many on here. Weight not only hinders our daily lives, riddles most with embarassment, attacks our overall heath and well being-weight also ages...well at least it did for me. I no longer have my issues with sleep apnea nor am I in my pre-diabetic danger zone. I have more energy than ever and expect in time to feel even better than what I do now as I continue down this path. I set small goals silly goals and reached my 1st. I got into a pair skinny jeans-the world couldnt tell me anything. Next goal is to be in a 12 by New Years and the goal following is to look smoking hot by March because the CIAA events are going to be held here...so far thats all I have more to come after I knock out those three completely. I of course cant post all my good without the bad. I like most people did go through a sever buyers remorse period. Mine lasted the first full month. I was nauseus all the time and it worsened to the point I was unable to keep water down. My lesson learned here was to listen to my body. I failed to go to my doctor when this initally became an issue thinking it would pass. WRONG! Fast forward 1 wk I finally went to the ER one night. They drew blood work to tested my vitals because I appeared weak. The blood work came back noting my potassium was at 2.3 from a normal 4.5 or higher. I was told that cardiac arrest happens when it's that low. They later did a CT scan to see if there was anything wrong with my pouch or opening and prior to doing so I had to drink some liquid. When I went back to the scanning room they placed some dye into my IV and thats when all hell broke loose. The doctors later said it triggered my heart into arrhythmia which had they not been able to control it would have then sent me into cardiac arrest. I felt as though I nearly lost my life on some quick pass to be thin and had deep remorse for having the surgery>not really acknowledging that my lack of attention to the severity of my situation played a part as well>>>CONSTANT NOTE TO SELF...PAY ATTENTION TO MY BODY...I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH!!! Fast forward another month through today and I have no issues, no pain, no sickness, I'm not on any meds, I feel good, and it's because of my RNY.

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