sistaqueen

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Hello Everyone,
Well, today has been one of those days, just in case you didn't know, it is that TOM and I am really not feeling well. This is my second one for this year and boy is it setting me in a fit! My stomach has been cramping all day, but enough about all that, here is what I ate today:

B- Protein shake w/ 8 ozs. skim milk
    1/3 banana

L- 1/2 large grilled chicken salad w/ ranch dressing (ate all the chicken)

S-Sm slice 7 up cake

D- Spaghetti w/ turkey meatballs
     1 slice of garlic bread

64 ozs. water
Needless to say, I didn't make it to the gym today with these cramps, we will see tomorrow.
    

Okay, now I am beginning to understand why my eating has been a little out of whack! Lte me explain, earlier this year, I found out that started menopause. When I got the call from my gyn, she said, oh well, you don't have to worry about any more TOM, I said, wow that is pretty cool. Just as I was settling on to the fact of not having to worry about TOM anymore, a few months later (April) here comes another TOM, I was not expecting that at all! I thought  this is not good, not knowing if I should be expecting it or not. 

Okay, so fast forward til last week (Dec.), I noticed that the "twins" were a little tender and I said to myself, oh no, could this mean TOM is coming? I know my appetite has been a little out of whack, and I have been forcing myself not to eat more. Well, yesterday, I felt like I could have eaten anything around me, I had to use some control (but not much) and today I get up and I felt like I haven't eaten in days! I just wasn't feeling really great, my back has been bothering me all day, and guess what I got today?????

So at least now I know why I have been feeling as hungry as I have. I am really going to have to have some self control kick in this week! Automatically, I wanted something sweet, I didn't go to the gym today because of my back, but I know I am going to have to be really careful. So here is what I ate today:

B- Chicken salad on hot dog bun

L- Sm. Wendy's Chili (ate 3/4 of it)
     Sm fry

S- small slice of 7 up cake
     3 handfuls of cashews

D- Spaghetti w/ turkey meatballs & sweet Italian sausage
     1 slice of garlic bread

64 ozs. water
I must do better tomorrow, yall pray for me, please!
Oh, check out my 4 month post op pics!
     Sm. fry

This is what I am eating today:

B- Protein shake w/ 8 ozs. skim milk
     1/3 banana

L- 1 hot dog w/ bun

D- 2 Fried Chicken wings
     2 spoonfuls mac & cheese
     1/4 c. green beans

S- Chicken salad on hot dog bun (canned chicken)

I really don't understand why I keep struggling with the same food issues! I mean, I realize, that I have a love affair with food, and sometimes I just eat for the sake of eating. I purposed to only eat when I was hungry, well, I blew that. I am soooo very determined that I am going to conquer this thing, no matter what. I pray that this will not continue to control my life. Here is what I ate today, the good, bad and ugly of it all! It really helps me to know that I have to come back here and record what I ate, It gives me a sense of acountability.

B- 2 slices Digiornio pizza

L- 5 buffalo wing dings
    10 french fries

S- 2 handfuls of baked cheese curls

D- 2 slices Digionio Pizza

56 ozs. water
1 hour 15 mins. at gym

Well, here is what I ate today. I decided not to go to the gym today in order to give my body a rest. I will go tomorrow and that will make 5 days this week! woo hoo! On Friday, I get off from work early, and when I got off today, it was snowing a little, I decided to come home and kinda stay in. I wasn't hungry, but when my children started to cook food, all of a sudden, I wanted to eat it. I just want to make sure I write down everything that I notice that triggers me to get off track. I knew it was going to be kinda tough, but I didn't do as bad as I thought.

B- protein shake w/ 9 ozs. of skim milk
     1/3 banana

L- 1/2 c. turkey chili

S- 3 honey glazed chicken balls
     2 bites of chili hot dog 

D- Not sure yet, but I will come back and post it as soon as I figure it out
Well, I truly messed up here, this is what I had tonight:
1 light hot dog w/ chili & bun
2 slices Digiornio Pizza

Here we go:

B- Protein shake w/ 8 ozs. skim milk
     1/2 banana

L- 3 ozs. chicken salad ( canned chicken with Hellmann's Light Mayo)
     10 Wheat Ritz crackers

D- 1/2 c.Turkey chili
      1/2 c. brown rice

No cornbread today!!! Yipee, but guess what? I think I transferred my addiction, I had 3 sm. breadsticks :(

64 ozs. water
I went to the gym and worked out for 1 1/2 hrs.

Here we go:

B- protein shake w/ 8 ozs. skim milk
     1/2 banana

L- 3 ozs. chicken salad (made with canned chicken and Hellmann's Light Mayo)
      8 wheat Ritz crackers

S- 2 handfuls of popcorn
     4 wheat Ritz crackers

D- 1/2 c. Chili (made with ground turkey
      1/2 c. brown rice
       3 sm. pieces of cornbread ( I know, it is just sooooo good. not eating     anymore, promise!

64 ozs. water

Here is my food journal for today:

B- Protein shake w/ 8ozs. skim milk
     1/2 banana

L- South beach Diet Pepperoni Pizza

S- sm. handful nut mix

D- 1/2 c. chili w/ ground turkey
      1/2 c.  rice
     3 sm. pieces of cornbread ( I know, I know, couldn't help it, was sooooo good)

80 ozs. water
1 hour 15 mins. at the gym.
 

Well, I decided to det a goal of losing 5 lns. by Christmas and as I was thingking about this goal, I thought to myself, what was I going to do to accomplish this goal? After thinking, I decided to go to the gym at least 5 days a week and increase my time there as well as watch my food intake by recording what I am eating. I went to the gym today an was able to do the elipitical for 30 mins.!!!! What a major victory, I remembered first getting on an eliptical machine and not being able to do 5 mins.! Woo hoo! I also ended up staying at the gym for about 2 1/2 hours! I couldn't believe it.

So even as I am typing this, I think I am going to start recording my daily eating plan here from now until Christmas, this really helped me before pre op because it gives me some level of accountability. I am so very excited to be working toward a realistic attainabl goal. So here is my eating journal for today, the good ,bad and ugly of it all!

B- 5 wheat ritz crackers
     1/2 banana

S- Protein shake w/ 8 ozs. of skim milk

L- 1/2 c. baked ravioli w/ ground turkey

D- 1 c. baked ravioli w/ ground turkey
      1 slice Texas Toast

70 ozs. water

I just feel really good right now after sitting and reading another persons page. Everything she said on her page was absolutely right, I felt like she was expressing my thoughts that I am not always able to articulate. 

I am ready to move forward in this journey, I knew I had to go through some drastic measures this past week to help me get myself back on track, and I feel as though it has worked. From here on out, I have to make the decision to do what I am suppose to do, if I don't then I can only blame myself! I can't blame the band, I can't blame my surgeon, I can't blame my family! I am responsible for my own actions. God has given me this wonderful opportunity to have this wonderful tool, and I have to be grateful for that. 

In the past, I think that I started to take my band for granted, there are people out there that would like to have the "band", but for one reason or another, either finances, insurance or whatever, they are not able to. I feel like God has blessed me with this gift and either I am going to use and appreciate the gift or I am just going to put it on the shelf so to speak. I have to make this thing work if nothing more than from my gratitude!
Its nothing like knowing you gave someone a gift and they didn't appreciate it, you take the time to make sure that you choose what you feel is best for them and they have no regard for the gift! I really don't want to do that. 

All in all, this journey is about much more than losing 5lbs. a week, it is about what is truly on the inside of us as individuals. It is so important to take the time and recognize those things in us that continue to rear its ugly head. I have to and will give honor to God for this gift! 

To some up what I am feeling, these are the words to a song that a wonderful songwriter has written:

Touch me once again
Verse 1
You said that old man was dead
but still it lifts its ugly head.
When sorrow, pain and strife
give that old man life.
You said I 've been set free
and there were no chains holding me,
but in those times when I turned back from you,
 the thing I hate is what I do.
 Its then I bring my heart to you 
so you can touch me once again.
Chours
Touch me once again, my savior and my friend, 
remove those things in me, that steal my victory,
 there's no where I can go, but to the one who knows
 how to touch me with a love that never ends.
Verse 2
You said you fight for me,
you said no weapon formed against me
will prosper or succeed, you'll give me what I need. You said to just be still, but yet I struggle with my will, to place in to your hands, my purpose and my plans. Its then you tell me just to stand, so you can touch me once again.
Repeat chours

Lyrics & music written by: Gerald L. Pierce (www.gladproductionslive.com)