2 More Days...

Jun 05, 2010

until my big surgery....

I am so happy and hopeful about actually looking like the person I feel that I am.  This surgery will enable me to physically become who I want to be.  It's a huge deal.

On the other hand, I'm completely rewiring my digestive system.  That is not so thrilling.  But, the current plumbing isn't helping me lose weight.  I've always felt at odds with my body, as if it were my adversary, counteracting every positive change I've ever tried to make with my diet and exercise regimes.  I'm one of the strongest willed people I know; yet, I've never been able to win my battle with my weight.

I began this journey of WLS last year about this time.  I agonized for weeks about whether or not I should embrace this drastic solution.  I did not want to, but my Preferred Care Provider and a Specialist that I see both recommended it.  I had to at least consider the possibility.  I prayed, cried, fumed, and fussed for about two weeks.  At the end of that depressing time, I realized that this really is what I need to do.

I went to the seminar and got an appointment to see the doctor.  Once there, I was told my BMI was too high for a safe surgery and I would have to lose the weight.  It took me quite awhile to get to the BMI I needed to be at, but I am glad that I've had this year to lose so much weight on my own.  It's reminded me how hard weight loss is for me and that I need this help.  It also reassured me that I have given this a good effort before the surgery.  I've gone about as far I as I can without the surgery.  Now, I look forward to the surgery doing what I have never been able to do in my whole life, reaching my goal weight and maintaining a healthy weight.

For this, I am truly grateful.

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