5 Months Today

Nov 06, 2010

What a ride this has been so far!  From my surgery weight, I have lost about 65 pounds.  All totaled, I've lost over 150.  I feel great, not perfect, but awesome.

Life is full of possibilities, a few trials, some difficult decisions, and learning, learning, learning.  It seems like everyday is a challenge to find a way to beat stress without overeating.  Given some of the stresses of this last week, I understand how it was I got to over 400 pounds.  I was eating emotions and words.  Now, I know I have to be assertive instead of passive during difficult situations.  I have to deal with anger instead of dulling it with food.  I have to face problems instead of smothering them with gravy.  I can't anesthetize my pain with food.  I can't even drink.  So, one by one I face my troubles head on. It's hard.  But, I say, it's still a good trade.  I would never go back.

My prayer life is improving.  I didn't think it needed to, but I guess it did. 

I love walking into a new situation with a (still extra large) body that will fit into chairs.  I love the confidence I feel.  I love feeling like me again.  The SMO version of me had become fearful of new situations, chairs, embarrassment.  She had become stilted and a little agoraphobic.  She was tired and losing hope. 

I love the quote, "Become the change you wish to see."  That is what my life is right now.  I am change.

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