I'm on The Otherside Now....Yahoo!

Aug 13, 2022

I'm 48 hours post-op and right now I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach by a giant mule. Now I'm forcing down the many 2 oz cups of water, taking my half protein shake in between and praying this will all be worth it in the end. My doctor keeps saying that I won't have "the dramatic weightloss that I orgininally had" (which concerns me) but I didn't go through all of this for nothing and I'm going to prove him wrong. I'm dying to get back in the gym and to exercising again. He's going to owe me an apology! Thanks for all the support and prayers.

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It's Really Reall now.

Aug 01, 2022

Last week , I got a call drom my surgeons office asking me would I like to move my Revision surgery up from August 26th to August 11th. Do I have to tell you what I said....LOL So now things are getting to feel real now and I'm getting ready to go , doing my pre-testing stuff this week and praying all goes well for next week. I worked so hard to get here again(I started my 2nd/rebirth journey in 2019) and it's really about to happen. God is truly good!

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Revision Date Finally!

Jul 25, 2022

Finally, I've got a bypass revision date and it's August 26th of this year. I'm so excited but also nervous, I'm not as young as I was the first time and I'm just hoping things will be alright this time. Why I'm stressing, I'm not sure but I am....afterall this is what I wanted? Maybe it's the going back to the liquid diet, the soft foods, protein shakes and vitamins again. This time though, I'm going to focus on doing it right, the insurance won't give me another chance so it's gotta be "the second time is the charm!" I'm more dedicated to making this a lifetime change (instead of a 100 lb change and return to our old ways),maybe the nerves are coming from not knowing if I'll be a success this time. No matter how positive we are going into things, the proof is going to be in the doing. My world is about to change again and I want it to be for the rest of my life, I did keep most of the weight off for almost 20 years and if I did it once....I'll do it again!

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Feeling depressed...and wondering if this is what I did again.

Mar 29, 2022

I had my first behavioral specialist visit and that was really enlightening. She asked me to tell her how my childhood was and of course the childhood molestation came up (at age 8-14) I was molested by a family friend and that's never an easy topic ,but over the years I've come to terms with it and know that it wasn't my fault. Then she asked me "how did you feel after your surgery and the comments about the new you"? I told her "I hated the comments because I became the attention of men" and suddenly I was thrown back into a world that I felt uncomfortable in, men saw me differently , I knew that they were attracted to me and I HATED IT! My weightloss wasn't about becoming a "piece of ass" for another man but that's how they saw the new me.

Then it dawned on me and I had to ask myself "did I do this to me again on purpose (my original attempt to frustrate my molester was to get as fat as possible, make myself unattractive and maybe he'd leave me alone), so did I do this to myself again? Was the new me so uncomfortable in that new body that she chose to run and hide behind the "fat suit" that protected her from being seen as attractive to anyone? At our next meeting I have to explain to her that the realization has hit me of what I did and knowing this now, the next time will be different. This time I'll deal with the pain and fear before being given the "new me back."

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My First Dietician Appointment

Mar 11, 2022

Today was my first group dietician appointment, we learned the do's and don't of weightloss surgery. It was like hearing it all over again after 20 years (I knew many of the things still). Met some other really nice folks in the group , got to chat with them about "the surgery being great but the real success has to come from the brain!"Taking the addict out of the drug house and reforming them into a sober person, I know I have to put in the work and that no one's going to do it for me. How do you avoid our drug of choice "FOOD?" Will I ever be able to get along with it or will it forever hold me hostage....the battle has begun !

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To get back to being healthy

Feb 17, 2022

My goal after failing from my original Roux-En-Y in 2003 and regaining weight is to have a revision and try to get back to being healthier again at age 62. Right now I'm disgusted with myself and hate the way that I let myself become again. 

My BMI is 41 and the last time my BMI was this high was in 1998! My body is falling apart, legs, back and knees ache, all the weight related fun things have returned and I'm miserable. Then in 2018 I lost my 35 year old son to obesity related issues and then I really didn't care about anything and gave up . I'm still reeling from this loss and may never recover, but I need to recover my health because I have to carry this extra weight around and I know he wouldn't want this for me. Then I have a 9 year old grandson who has also inheirited the negative obesity gene and I'm so afraid for him (he reminds me of the son I lost so much). I'm terrified for his health, he already has high cholesterol and if I don't get my act together, how I can't help him with his?

I know I can do this and I'm about to start classes again to hopefully be approved for a revision and another chance at life, I'm old but I'm not ready to give it all up just yet.

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13 years and counting.

Jul 09, 2013

Wow it's amazing to think that it's been 13 years since I started my journey. Looking back at some old photo's of myself on this site (because I got rid of them everywhere else)  brings it all home that at one time I looked like someone else that I no longer know or remember. What a scary journey it started out as, not knowing it the surgery would be approved , not knowing if it would work , not knowing if things would last, so many questions. Thanks to God (I have to give him all the Honor and Glory for letting it happen for me), I'm 13 years out and still under 200 lbs. I still struggle with weight but now I know that I can and will lose weight again if I work at it (and believe me I do ). 

Since the surgery I developed fibromyalgia which makes exercising challenging but Ii still do it. I did get down to 165 lbs (my lowest weight) and people thought I had some terminal illness , others thought I looked really scary and bad , so I decided to put some weight back on . The point is now , I'm comfortable with Brenda and I like Brenda the way that she is. I feel healthier still , my blood pressure isn't a problem anymore,my feet ,back and legs don't hurt from the extra weight anymore( but that's been replaced by the fibromyalgia pain). But still I'm happy to be where I am now and not back at 315 pounds and growing !

 

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About Me
PA
Location
Surgery
08/11/2022
Surgery Date
Jul 26, 2011
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo
What The Hell .... You're Gonna Do Better.
233lbs
2021 In Orlando Having to use a scooter..damn!
233lbs

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