Trianni
Finally!
Aug 13, 2011
Finally! After 3-1/2 years of trying I have passed my psych eval for WLS! At the moment I'm more relieved than happy, I think. I don't know what I did or said to change things but I'm glad that part of the process is finally over. Now my paperwork will be sent to my insurance company and, hopefully, in 2-3 weeks I'll have my approval.I think of all the people I've met, both online and in person, and I notice one big difference in myself and them (and, yes, I talked about this with the psychologist who evaluated me). For ten years I've been educating myself about WLS and as a result I'm no longer "gung-ho" about having surgery. In fact having the surgery makes me nervous and sometimes I even find it frightening. It's such a big decision with even bigger demands for change in my life and I'm terrified that I'm going to fail at this, too. But when I look forward into the future I see things that frighten me even more. Things like an early death and/or continuing to gain weight until I'm bedridden. I see my quality of life continuing to spiral downward as the pain I'm already experiencing increases until I can no longer do anything that I once enjoyed. If I continue on this path I'm currently on I might as well die early because life just doesn't seem to be worth living if I can't find joy in my existence.
Over the years I've made lists of pros and cons with regard to WLS. It's funny how some cons, like dumping, have become pros as I learned more about their place in the greater scheme of things. Now my list of pros far outnumber my cons. I see hope in that list and in the words of everyone I've met who've traveled this road before me. Yes, it will be wonderful to lose weight and look good for a change, but what I am looking forward to more than anything are the other benefits of WLS. Perhaps my diabetes, hypertension and the constant pain in my legs will go away. Maybe I'll be able to shower and know without a doubt that I'm clean all over for a change. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to spend a day with my friends and really, truly be one of the gang again. Most of all, maybe I will no longer be filled with shame whenever I go out in public.
So, you see, my anxiety and fear about the surgery are outweighed by blossoming hope. Ten years of research and soul-searching are going to pay off because now I have a very balanced view of what lies ahead. I've a very good surgeon and a wonderful support team to see me through so faith in a successful outcome is growing. Most of all I have my own vision for a future far different than my past to focus on. As the saying goes, the best is yet to come.
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About Me
Maryville, TN
Location
60.5
BMI
Surgery
04/02/2012
Surgery Date
Sep 10, 2002
Member Since
