trudie74

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I am almost at my 1 year anniversary, but am posting because I forgot to come here to document my revision surgery!  I will post again when I get my lab results back and have my 2 year appointment in a couple weeks. 

The thighs.  Oh those pesky things!  They were the miserable part of my original surgery and then haunt me again.  The scar on my right thigh dropped soon after surgery and never improved.  It was visible with panties on and had a dog ear to boot.  My right breast also had a dog ear, and so did my right hip.  I think my right side is cursed!  The dog ears could have been fixed in office, but the scar needed redone.  So, surgery!  Again!  I did it over Spring Break 2010 and it only took about 1 week to recover.  The scar is not where it needs to be but is a tiny bit better.  No real reason, it just won't stay higher.  Recovery wasn't nearly as bad as the original recovery.  All of the other fixes weren't a problem at all.  Everything except that damn thight is just as I had hoped. I don't regret the thigh, but wish it was perfect.  I guess when you abuse your body for so long you can't expect perfection!

I weigh in at 130ish give or take 2 pounds.  I want to keep it under 130, but eat waaaay too much junk.  I will have to reign it in.  I am not in control most of the time, just lucky I can't eat alot of it at once.  I am hoping to finally try that exercise I speak of so often.  I also want to go back to eating for fruits and veggies and less junk.  I am good with protein, and my main meals are healthy.  It is the snacking!  Way to often and always the wrong things.  I will elaborate on my state of mind in my 2 year post!  I am praying my labs are ok...

It has been about 4 months since plastics and 1 yr 5 months since WLS.  Not many new life changes, but eating habits have definately changed.  My weight has stayed stable, but I constantly worry that I am reverting to old habits.  I snack waaaaaay to often, and not always on the right things.  So far no regain, so I haven't bothered to change.  I don't exercise at all, so my plan is that at the first sign of regain I will exercise to accomodate extra calories.  Then I will have to address the choices I make with food.  I am no where near what I was pre WLS...but not as diligent as I was when I was freshly post op.  I still make sure to follow the basic rules of water, protein, don't drink while eating, etc.  But anything that is under 10g fat and 10g sugar is fair game these days...regardless of how many calories or what I have already eaten.  This holiday season will be a struggle, so I am watching the scales closely!  I know what to do if they move, and am fine with doing it.  It just feels so good to be bad right now.

So the pain is gone, but the general "I don't feel quite normal" is still hanging around.  Things are healing well and I am happy with all but the boobage.  He did a FABULOUS job, but with the reconstruction from my crappy breast reduction and the lack of tissue/thin skin issues...he had alot to fix.  He did well, but I don't think he will be done.  He places them higher than normal initially for WLS patients because we tend to drop more than the normal person.  But I guess my body disagrees, because they won't quite drop all the way.  They look fine in clothes, but nekkid you can tell.  Not terrible, but I paid too much to not have them perfect!  He said he can adjust that in office, but I am dreading being cut on again at all.  Overall, things have gone as well as could be expected for doing so much at once. 

I am not tracking my eating anymore and playing it by ear.  That is dangerous, because I seem to be splurging daily now.  The difference is that I still make sure to eat generally healthy stuff and even the splurges are in tiny amounts.  I would have had an entire bag of chips before, but now it is just 6 or 7.  My body seems to be ok with it so far, but as I get further out I will have to watch carefully in case it starts to absorb more calories.  I don't think my calories are high even with the splurges though, so all should be fine.  I watch the scale like a hawk though!

I am sooooo lucky to have made it this far...I almost feel like it is too good to be true.  I worry something (like me) will comprimise my success somewhere down the road.  But even if I gained half of my weight back I would still be healthier and thinner than I can ever remember being.  I would have been guaranteed a short life span and a life riddled with health issues had I NOT done this.  So, even if it doesn't last forever, I bought some precious, healthy, happy time living life.  I guess time will tell.

I am officially excused from the binder 24/7, but find myself needing it for swelling reasons.  I found some at Kohl's that I think might be just enough support without the intrusiveness of the post surgical unitard binder I have been using.  My incisions all look excellent.  The TT and thigh lift are coming along nicely.  I don't like the weird sensatins I get when my skin is toouched though or how my tummy is numb.  The belly button is a little odd too since I always had a bottomless button and now it is more normal.  As for the breasts...they still haven't dropped completely and I am getting very worried.  I have worn the binder and massaged then this whole time.  They look fine in clothes, but naked they are still too high making them look a little odd.  Dr. Tjelmeland said he doesn't think it will be a problem, but if they haven't settled in my September he will have to go in and move them himself.  He says it does not require general anesthesia and is a 2 day recovery, but AGGGGGHHH!!!! I am so tired of being cut on.  I am really disappointed in how the breasts are coming along.  I was hoping for zero complications.  I need to just be greatful that I am healing well and feeling better!  I am blessed to have come this far!

I went in for a follow up visit yesterday.  I will be 3 weeks out in a couple days.  My drain is out and stitches in my thighs came out at yesterday's visit.  My belly button is healing well, TT incision is closed up nicely, thighs are still tender, but closing up as well....but the boobs!  They won't drop and are still swollen.  I have to go back to wearing the binder/band to try to push them down.  He says maybe 2 more weeks.  I am getting nervous that they haven't dropped.  He said in WLS patients since the skin tends to be more stretched out, he starts a bit higher so they don't drop too low.  I guess mine are holding the implant up better than expected!  Ugggh, they are making me mad!

I am off pain meds, and can drive now.  I still feel very sore and tender.  I swell if I am up alot.  When I went shopping to find some clearance deals for back-to-school it was impossible to know what size bottoms to get.  Gotta wait I guess for things to settle out.  I did find a couple dresses and shoes!

It was funny...we went to lunch at a sit yourself restaurant before my appointment, and I was stared at by all the men on their lunch break.  I realized I used to be accustomed to staring, but it makes me feel bad because it was always for being fat.  Now they are checking me out and I still feel bad being stared at!  In my mind I connect it to being because they are making fun of me in their mind...hard to change that mind set.

I wanted to make sure that I posted after plastics before the TRUE feeling of OMG what have I done is over and I am all "it was soo worth it".

It was hell...still is pretty bad.  I had the extended tummy tuck, breast augmentation, and thigh lift done in a 9.5 hr procedure June 19th.  I am one week post op and still can't be left alone since I can't get up and down from the recliner or bed alone.  It is the thighs!  They are tender and impossible to avoid moving and getting rubbed by the seam of my garment.  If the thighs would heal faster I think I would feel much better.

I just wanted to stay knocked out for 3 days.  I had swelling in my knees and that was my breaking point as far as keeping my chin up.  Once the knee swelling subsided I began to feel better, but was still very imobile.  My arms were sore from the  breast work so I couldn't shift with them.  Then my legs hurt from the knees up from the thigh lift with lipo so they were no help either.  I felt miserable!  I had to have my mom place gauze pads around the groin opening in my garment just to keep the seam from rubbing on the incisions.  The garment was too tight on my stomach for 4 days, but fits ok now.  I am getting a new one since it is too big in the thighs, so I worry it will be uncomfortable in my tummy again.

I am still not sure how the breasts turned out since they are swollen like mad!  Then the tummy looks weird.  The skin looks strange and I can't stand upright so it looks sunken.  I need to take pics.  The incision lines look even on both sides and they tell me it is looking as good as expected if not better at this stage.  I have tape blisters from the breasts and tummy tape, so I assume it will be the same when the thigh steri strips come off.  Ouch.

The drain came out today, so one week with a drain.  I can start wearing a sports bra, but still need the band across the top to help push them down into the pocket.  They have not dropped much.

Well that's the update.  Hopefully all of this pain and misery with be a distant memory next time I post.  If anyone tries to tell me I got skinny the easy way, I will go ape shit on them!  This journey might be faster than other ways, but it certainly isn't easier.

My hysterectomy is done, and I have recovered pretty well.  I ended up having my cervix removed, but while she was operating she discovered endometriosis.  We are hoping it poses no problems.  I went for my follow-up for that and my pre-op for plastics on the same day.  Both doctors say I am good to go on June 19th.  I am in the process of gathering everything I will need and my mom flies in 2 days prior to surgery to help take care of me.  I wish she could stay longer, but I have her for 1.5 weeks, and that's better than nothing!

I think hubby is freaking out about the surgery.  He was initially very "into" the idea of my new body, but now he is uncomfortable with it all.  I am nervous myself, but more about pressing my luck going under general anesthesia again.  I will have gone under for 3 separate surgeries in one year!  God will be with me, so I rely on that peace of mind.  I have not explained what this surgery is for to my kids.  In fact, they never even ask.  They didn't ask the last 2 times, and seem to think it is no big deal this time!  I think that means I am having surgery too much.

I am going to take off the last 6 weeks of work to have a hysterectomy.  I am doing this with a plan to follow up 6 weeks later with plastic surgery.  I am calling tomorrow to set the plastics date with Dr. Tjelmeland.  I feel confident he is the right one for me.  I was positive I wanted a tummy tuck and breast augmentation, but curious about thigh work also.  After getting many different opinions from 4 different surgeons, I feel like Dr. Tjelmeland will do right by me and am going for the inner thigh lift.  I am apprehensive about this part.  I still don't feel sure, but I want to go for it, and trust that I picked the surgeon that would do the best work for my body.  God help me if I am wrong!  I will post back after the hysterectomy...I am nervous about that as well.  Cervix/ no cervix.  I have a week to decide, but I am thinking no cervix to play it safe with the bleeding/pain and no cervical cancer worries.  The only thing keeping me unsure is that I hear it provides support, and can reduce the chance of my bladder falling.  Most people I have asked have not had issues with their bladder even with no cervix, so I am leaning that way ATM.

I feel totally normal.  I guess I thought being small would feel uncomfortable in some way, or I would feel like those "other" people.  I feel like me.  The only problem is that I feel almost as embarassed and uncomfortable with my naked body as I did fat.  Even more so.  That is why I want plastics.  I want to feel like I can be comfortable in my own skin finally.  I worry about scars because I don't like the reminder of how I got there though.  I can't get around that...but it is the reason I am seeking so many opinions and doing so many consultations.  I want the best results with as little scarring as possible.  I am going to schedule my 4th and 5th consult when offices open after Easter weekend.  I hope I can get in quickly.  My hubby has been to all of them, and I want him to go to the rest so I have someone to bounce thoughts off of. 

I wear a size 4-6 now, and everyone calls me "so tiny".  My dad told my sister that I was too skinny, but hasn't said a word of that to me LOL.  I guess after all those years encouraging me to loose weight it seems ironic that he thinks I lost too much.  My BMI is perfect.  I just wish I hadn't lost so much in my face.  It looks sunken and that ages me a bit.  In clothes I look fabulous.  I eat pretty normally now, and have to confess I endulge a bit too often in unhealthy treats.  But is consists of 2 bites instead of gorging.  I am eating primarily healthy foods, so I guess my relationship with food has changed.  It is in NO WAY cured.  I fight temptation all the time.  I sometimes am willing to suffer the consequences of eating something that won't agree with me.  Surprisingly, I don't do that often...but it makes me worry I will eventually.  However, I am determined to keep up the good fight.  The war will never end.

I need to exercise, but don't.  I don't find the time, and it isn't a priority to me since I don't need it to loose weight.  Silly, I know, because it serves a greater purpose than losing weight.  It makes me healthy...but I have spent my whole life exercising soley to loose weight, that it hasn't clicked yet.  Maybe this summer I will take the time.

My husband mentioned that this whole WLS thing has been hard on him.  He has lost the wife he had, body and personality.  I don't see the personality thing he mentions.  I think that is in his head.  I expected a big shift with the confidence, but only in tiny ways has my personality been effected.  I think he means more how he perceives me to be.  He assumed, and maybe rightfully so, that I was less confident and likely to go it alone before.  Now he sees me as more willing to be independant.  That is what I think he means by a personality change.  We are back in counseling.  Thank God it isn't because of this surgery, just a continuation of the old issues.  Things are good ATM, but our foundation is still weak.  We don't communicate well and fight poorly.  None of that is new. 

Overall, I am terribly pleased with the results.  Now, on to plastics to finish the job!

Ok, so it's been a couple of months.  I haven't forgotten to post, just haven't had much to add.  Until now!  I went for 2 different PS consults yesterday.  Originally, since I was having a hysterectomy...I was seeking a breast augmentation at the same time.  While other parts of my body are in need of some help, I really hate my breasts (or lack of).  Anyway, my husband suggested maybe doing more if it could be done in one procedure.  So, I showed them everything I wanted to fix...my belly, breasts, butt and thighs.  One surgeon was eager to do it all at once (breasts, tummy, butt, thighs) by doing a lower body lifet with the breasts basically.  Another was less eager to do so much saying I didn't need thighs and butt too badly to warrant the recovery, cost and scarring.  He suggested breast implants without lift (the other doc said a lift with the implants), and a circumfrential tummy tuck...all the way around instead of the cute little front panty-line scar.  He said removing the skiin around the tummy and pulling it tight might lessen the push on the butt and thighs a tiny bit...and then maybe I could live with it without the drastic procedures.

I think we will go with the tummy and breasts, then go back for thighs and butt if it magnifies the issue instead of fixes it.  I am scared to do anything, but really want to get the final results after all this hard work.  I will post more later on how I feel....just wanted to make notes of what was being considered before it wasn't fresh on my mind.  I have one more consult, then I will decide!