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So I'm a week from surgery and I come down with a bad sinus infection.  Now I have to worry about getting postponed.  So I'm taking a five day antibiotic, resting, using sudaphedrine, bought a humidifier, drinks loads of Vitamin C, and trying as hard as possible to get better by next week.  

Murphey's Law, I guess.  

Hopefully the azithromicin, sundafedrin and rest will do the trick.  I have seven days to get better.  Tick, tick, tick...

March 25th, which is only 10 days!  Yippeeeeee!

Also told mom and sister.  Still need to tell best friend.  Most people are being very supportive.  I've told one very good friend "I'm not asking for your advice, just your support" at which point she stopped talking and and asked me if there was anything she could do to help.  Which was awsome.  

Tuesday, March 18th I have my pre-op with the hospital for testing and meeting the anastolgist.  (No, I can't spell)

Already had all the usual hospital tests and my preop meeting with Nancy.  This is the very last step, and then one week after THAT it's time for surgery.

The night before surgery is a support group meeting, which will help me with my j-j-j-j-jitters.  

I am getting a tonsil infection, which is a big problem at this point.  So Monday I see my doctor to get on antibiotics from now till then so I won't get my surgery cancelled cause they can't do a tube down my throat.  :-S

Progress so far, met with PT and got a weight routine I am now doing.  Walking the dog about an hour about five days a week.  I am TRYING to do 20 miles a week with my dog walks.  So exercise is going strong and has been for two weeks now.  Which is very little in the long run but at least I'm starting good habits. 

Nutritionist went well.  She has me already eating no more than 9 grams of sugar in any one thing I eat since post surgery that will risk dumping.  I already drink alot of water.  It's easy now, but I know it won't be post surgery.  I laid in protein drinks, shaker cups, small utensils and plates, thermal small mugs for keeping water cold for long periods (those have a sipper straw, which is really handy), protein bars for once I'm on solids (I laid in a few cases), a food scale, a strainer, the fitday program to track nutition, and a few other things.  So I'm getting prepared and making sure I have my supplies. 

LOVE Dr. Wagner!!!!  One more class, this coming Monday, and that's done too.

Met goal weight with Nancy plus an extra two.  The nutritionist limiting my sugar is something I'm keeping up with, so hopefully I'll loose a little more before surgery developing these good habits.  Since I started trying to loose for surgery BEFORE my first weigh in with Nancy (silly me!) she says I've lost 14 but really since Christmas I've lost 22.  A good start on what will hopefully be a long journey.  :-)

In about five days, on Wednesday, is my first meeting with Dr. Gens.  Then I can ask if he can possibly do the surgery day that I want - March 25th.  He might already be booked, so it might not be possible.  But I could get more help then and for a longer period of time.  I can do later, but not earlier as my husband is not avaliable the entire week before then.  I'll post as soon as I get a date.  

Also had all the hospital tests done - loads of bloodwork, the barium upper GI thingy, the sonogram of my gallbladder (it has a hook on it, what a strange thing to learn about myself), chest X-rays, and the EKG.  Then on Wednesday Dr. Gens will tell me if everything came out ok, we'll submit the insurance info, we'll schedule the visit with my loved ones when we see Dr. Gens a second time and HOPEFULLY we'll pick a date.

If so that still leaves me with telling my family, as I wasn't going to until I got a date.  Why have the big talk with everyone if I was just going to find out that for some physical reason I didn't qualify for surgery?  So I'm waiting and once I get a date I'll have to call my mom and sister and let them know what I've been up to since Christmas.  

Will post again after meeting with Dr. Gens. 

It wasn't what I expected.  It was actually alot better.  

Dr. Wagner was more interesting, much more useful, and less participatory than I expected.  He said there is no point in any of this figuring out why your fat in the first place crap because for most people it's just because we don't exercise enough, life tends to be sedindary, and lifestyle has turned into a continuous all you can eat buffet.  He also said most people can't figure out the deep psycological reasons anyway.  Even if you are an emotional eater, etc. as long as you are in the range of "normal" and not one of those people who will try to outeat your surgery, eat even with dumping syndrome, or feels anxiety when not grazing, etc. you may as well go from here instead of spending your time disecting your childhood. 

He also said that if loosing the weight DOES bring up stuff for you - ie. the weight makes you feel safer, etc. then you have choice A - put the weight back on.  But you can also come up with a choice B, C, and D for yourself proactively as well.  ie. arrage therapy, wear androgynous clothing, spend more time with a friend who is reassuring to you, carry pepper spray, etc.  Which I found to be a much more useful and less forced invasiveness than I expected.  

I have disected my issues thorughly, I have many motivations than MAY have contributed to my size.  You can't discount that unhealthy sugary high fat food tasts good.  I understand all the reasons why psychologically I may have found safety and confort in food and/or in my fat.  And I dealt with it.  Now pretty much all the mental and emotional work has been dealt with years ago, was opened up and sometimes examined and then laid to rest and other times exorcized, but after all is done, guess what?  I'm still just as fat.  Turns out I'm one of those crazy people who has a fat body, not just a fat brain.  Silly me.  Time for me to deal with the physical and I've decided on a physical and concrete course of actioon to deal with it.  

The only thing he said that really freaked me out is that the percent of divorce is much higher in post bariatric surgery patients than it is for the "normal population".  I want to talk to dear husband about it but the next few days are crazy busy and I won't be home when he is.  I think next time we have a half hour to walk the dog together, though, I need to mention that.  If it's something that we should expect will be a challange to our relationship, then we should get proactive and try to come up with a general plan and mindset than will help us get through it all together.  I DO believe than our marriage and most especially our friendship IS strong enough to weather the coming changes.  I also think that talking honestly about everything even when it's barely a blip on the radar is the best way to keep the marriage running smoothly, meet the basic needs of both of us, and keep us bonded. 

Well, I've set a whole lot of appointments.  I start the behavior modification classes that the psychologist teaches on Monday.  It will take six weeks to finish them since it's every other week for three classes.  I have my one-on-one scheduled week after next on Monday.  The nutritionist is the same week on Tuesday.  

I still need to call the physical rehab people to make an appointment with them.  Then after meeting with the nutritionist the first time, I need to get a second appointment with her as well.  I can probably get all this stuff finished up when I take my last behavior management class on March 3rd.  

The next steps at that point is getting all kinds of hopsital testing - upper GI, sonogram of gallbladder, etc.  Then I get to schedule a first meeting with Dr. Gens.  There are still more steps along the line and I am sure I'll add stuff to this list.  This is just the immediate list of Stuff I Know About that I'm Currently Working On.  :-)

Put up my Before gallery on this site.  Some of it was depressing, but I need to be honest.  The only way to make changes is to have an honest appraisal of where you are, where you have been, and where you want to be going.  

I want to document all of this.  Not just one pre-surgery post, a couple post-surgery post and a before and after pictures.  So I posted multiple before pictures to get an idea of my lifestyle prior (pretty fun, to be honest), I'm planning to post my hospital stay, and then the pictures throughout the other side of things as well.

Currently I have had my first meeting with Nancy, the bariatric coordinator.  She went over all my medical info and I look like a good candidate.  I weighed in initially at 233lbs.  I had already started loosing weight in preperation for the surgery without realizing I had to weigh in with Nancy first.  I weighed in at 240 at my gyn when I decided it was time to start this journey.  

Now I need to meet with the psychologist for my one-on-one, take six weeks of behavior modification classes (every other Monday for three sessions), meet with the nutritionist twice, and meet with the physical rehab people.  I meet with Nancy again in just under four weeks, so I have that long to at least meet all these professionals and start my behavioral modification classes.  

When I saw Nancy again today I weighed in at 228, so I've lost 5lbs and still have 7 to go to get surgery.  I need to keep working on that as well in the next three and a half weeks.  

My goal is to have met all the professionals in the next three weeks, start my behavior modification classes, and have lost another 5lbs.  Will keep updating as I go.