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I'm sitting here thinking about whether I should give up fried chicken, whether I need to? I really like all types of chicken, at no time that Ican remember did I eat fried chicken more than once per week, same way with beef. I know I won't give up beef but I feel that I should quit fried chicken. I know once I have surgery the quantity of food (fried chicken) won't be a problem initially...but there is something about deep frying that bothers Me. Even more so now, I had My colonoscopy and they found 3 polyps which were removed...I Am SOOOOOOOOOO Thankful that I am having this WLS, it Forces Me to take care of Myself. If not for this surgery, I would NOT have had a colonoscopy for 5 or 10 years...by then it would have been too late!!! THANK GOD for WLS and ALL of the Tests I took, THANK GOD!!!!!!! I will NEVER gripe about taking another test related to My Health...Black folks better get on board with doing what is necessary for our health, tests and all; miss some time out of work or whatever it takes, that j-o-b ain't gonna give you your Health and Well-Being back! YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR WEALTH! I read that one cause of colon polyps is eating high fat food (and being overweight)...I CAN LIVE without frying chicken, there are too many ways to get chicken crispy, and crispy or not I like the "bird" baked, seared, rotisserried, grilled, broiled, bar-b-qued, skin on or off, breast or thighs or wings. So, yea, I'm giving up fried chicken. I'm DONE with ALL deep fried ANYTHING!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

I read a post by Dalexis on basically forgetting the past and moving on with our lives; soooo I'm ready to LOOK to the Future and Experience the Present in a New Light!
What I'm looking Forward To:
*Getting Married to My Life Partner - D before My WLS
*Buying a Home with D
*Montrose and Newport Jazz Festivals with D
*Experiencing SF with D
*Walking down the Champs Elyees with D
*Tuscany in the Spring with D
*Mediterranean Cruise with D
*Snow Mobiling in the Catskills with D
*Walking on White Beaches in the Winter with D
*Taking D to WarmDaddy's and Delilah's Cafe in Philly
*Cycling in Parks
*Learning to Horseback Ride
*Learning to Swim and Jet Ski
*Learning to Skull
*Maybe Buying a Trike
*Wearing Tailored Clothes Again...OTR just ain't Me
And on and on and on.......

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

I have SUBMITTED! I have finally Submitted to Living Wellness and to the Low Glycemic way of eating (South Beach Plan). In the middle of this, in the middle of Living the "Plan" I have looked up and discovered that I have changed. My thinking has changed around food (it's not an ordeal any more, food does not occupy My Mind any more), My Thoughts have Changed, My desires have changed, My perspective has changed. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of My size, I am done "girding My loins" to meet the world because of My weight; I accept Myself as I am right now, I expect the Best right now. I have no negative expectations from WLS, it is a "help meet" that will come into an already Healthy Lifestyle so transitions should be seemless. I recognize that the choices ahead of Me may not be easy but they very well may be easy the longer I Live Wellness; but easy or hard I am committed and submitted to making the best choices for a Lifestyle of Wellness. I Love the outlook that I have now. I know beyond knowledge that My latter years SHALL be greater than My former years, and I am ready/prepared to take them on and LIVE LIFE as it is intended to be LIVED!  ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

CHOICES> determine HABITS> determine CHARACTER>determine DESTINY

I feel really good  and sooo Blessed in My Life. Now I totally understand why those Sisters at the Church (when I was a child) would stand and begin their Testimony, "I thank GOD for waking Me up this morning in My right mind, I thank GOD for My Life, Health and Strength!" Those old Sisters knew something that I did not know as a child nor could I have comprehended it except through living. NOW I UNDERSTAND what they were saying...I Understand it Deep in My Heart and Soul; they were saying that "My HEALTH IS My WEALTH!" There is nothing better and can take priority over your Wellness (Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Mental... WELLNESS) All it takes is for something to go bad in one or a few of these areas, for the other areas to UPHOLD the damaged area places a hardship on the other areas that are compensating for it. And when the Other healthy areas get weak for taking on to much of a load for so long, the whole person gets weak/break down.

It took years for Me to Understand that when My mobility became somewhat limited by the arthritis in My hip, the toll it took on Me Spiritually, Mentally and Emotionally. I began to realize that to manage the physical pain, it took resources from Me Spiritually, Mentally and Emotionally, that I would normally utilize doing other things. The same is so with becoming more and more obese...the more the physical limitations, the more I had to utilize Spiritual, Mental and Emotional resources just to face the world, prepare for work, travel, heck, just walk to and from places I need to be on a daily bases. Hell, when you supervise a Staff, you MUST walk around the office every hour or so (to see what people are doing or hold conversations...), even that was/is a burden (but getting better now). The South Beach Eating Plan has made My Life easier, the cravings are gone, there is no deep and constant thought about food, all it takes is willingness/commitment to do the Plan, and then somewhere in the middle of it the realization that, "I'm actually making a Lifestyle Change" hits you. (SB is NOT a diet for Me, this is the way I will eat the rest of My Life...it is GOOD, Phase 2 or 3 is the way people were meant to eat to sustain a Healthy Body in today's world!)

Last night I had kind of a WOW moment for Me; I actually STOPPED eating in the middle of My meal, I felt full and refused to go on, then about a minute after I stopped, I got a light burp. From reading on OH I know that is a "SOFT STOP"...our Body telling us it has had enough. I actually stopped before I cleaned My plate, and when I got that light burp I felt like a million bucks. From watching for My soft stops, I am beginning to recognize what a portion/serving REALLY IS, and until I am ok with eyeballing it, I will be weighing and measuring My food. Also, I accept that it is not wasting food to NOT eat what's on My plate when I am full or even save it for another time. It's not waste because eating that extra has caused to much misery for to many for to long! I am actually listening to My Body and DOING what it tells Me to DO! I'm glad I learned about the different "Soft Stops" that the Body will give, this will be greatly needed after WLS also. I am Grateful that I have a Surgeon that has an eating philosophy, and makes sure that his WLS patients utilize it BEFORE and AFTER Surgery...we shouldn't have to be looking for eating solutions at any point in our weight loss and maintenence experience; SB is the way to eat for Me, even if I stall or gain a few pounds - Phase 1 is right there.
YES, it's a GREAT DAY! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

You know what a recovering alcoholic who is working their plan says when they are offered alcohol or anything with alcohol in it, " No thank-you, I am allergic to that". I have also noticed 2 diabetics that sit on Boards with Me. They are very scrupulous about what they eat and the amounts, like...1/2 slice of bread, green salad or relishes always take up the majority of their plate, protein is the next largest portion...and they never eat more than one "starch type" usually the bread as mentioned or if potato salad is there 1tablespoonful; they limit fruit intake also. Know what My Sister says (who has been a practicing Vegetarian for over 30 years) when she is offered something that she will not eat, "Thank-you I can not eat that" if the person persists and say "it" is delicious, you just MUST try this, she says " I really can't it will make me ill." At a buffet, before My Sister chooses her meal, she looks at all of the options BEFORE she puts one thing on her plate, then she makes up her mind what she will eat BEFORE putting one thing on her plate. My GOD, these examples are true commitments to a LIFESTYLE, a way of Life/Living that is totally believed in by the person. My Sister does NOT "splurge" or celebrate by eating a piece of meat /fish or poultry now and then; a recovering alcoholic does not say, "ok just one this time" for old time sake, they KNOW what will happen...they KNOW it's the First drink that is the problem NOT that last one. A diabetic does not say, "to heck with this eating plan next week because I am going on vacation." A Nun does not drop her "covering" on Saturday Night to party...A Way of Life is a Way of Life, it's Constant; WELLNESS DOES NOT TAKE A VACATION Or A BREAK.

I believe that My commitment to My Lifestyle is no less than those above mentioned because for sure, non-adherence will cause irreparable harm or even death to Me. Some how I have been wired to believe eating the wrong food and in great quantity is a reward; that is Dysfunctional. I've been wired to think that Wellness is a sometime thing that now and again I can take a break from because it  "holds Me back, I can't have FUN unless I'm eating badly or drinking some alcoholic beverage"...how really sick to believe that Wellness (eating right/exercise/doing what is good for mental and emotional health) needs a break. I will use the above mentioned type of people as examples of commitment to Lifestyle. There is nothing spur of the moment the way My Sister eats...if she has a meeting or event of which she is not sure of the food, she will have fruit and most likely bring fruit or something she can eat in her purse. She is never without something to eat either in her car, in her desk or in her purse thingy. I will observe Myself and be Prepared when I know I will be hungry, carry high protein meals (snacks) with Me, set exercise times and just Do it without thinking, the first negative thought makes the road hard; if I need to meet with someone and I have a choice, it won't be at a restaurant or bar (although bars don't bother Me, not a big drinker) but the thought that relaxation or fun must center around food and alcohol is not a pleasant thought for Me anymore. I have been told that I laugh the loudest and am the life of the party when I don't have any drink, and I must say that I feel so good without alcohol...I WILL get that way about certain foods and quantity of food in My Life.

My examples will be of people LIVING and Committed to a Lifestyle of WELLNESS. My examples won't be people who want to reach or maintain a number on a scale( heck, "sick" people can do that), and their temperament changes with the numbers on the scales; and any given day or time they think that they can "Put Wellness Asside," then stride right back into it like nothing happened...That's not a Lifestyle. Not only that, I want to learn from the alcoholic, they know that it IS the first drink (BITE) that is the problem, and that first BITE can keep you on that BINGE for weeks/months before mustering up the Emotional and Mental Courage and Will Power to get back on track, by then you've regained 30+ lbs. and beating yourself up and that SAME Vicious Circle that made you have WLS initially has invaded your Life again, then you start looking for another WLS option because YOU failed the WLS NOT because WLS failed You (The Joan Rivers Syndrome>>O, Surgery will fix it.) That's why Vets of WLS say, "Don't start eating certain things again after WLS; or they wish they had NOT started putting certain things back into their diet." WHY...Because regaing a taste for those things you could NOT control BEFORE WLS is NOT worth all of the Effort and Agony it will take to try and discipline yourself to stay away from in the future...it's like trying to put toothpaste Back in the tube or trying o uncrack an egg. My GOD, if I can't control eating a dayum french fry now, why would I think that I can control eating french fries 2 yrs. after WLS; if My weakness is coffee and a cinnamon roll in the morning why would I put cinnamon rolls (no matter how small, fat free or sugar free) back in My mouth and start hating how I eat all over again, probably even give up coffee, HECK, believing that I can control certain foods/drinks but can't is a sure sign of ADDICTION...let those dogs die a quiet death! DANG, one reason that I did not do drugs when I was younger or now, FEAR, fear that I could NOT control them and Fear of what they would do to Me, because I saw or heard about what they did to other people. FEAR is a GOOD THING because it warns us of danger...it is a Good Thing to Fear certain Foods, just like I fear drugs (bottom line, they are the same when broken down in the Body). So what do I say to french fries or cinnamon rolls or Coke Classic or coffee or anything else that I give up for My Wellness, "Sorry, but I'm allergic to that," or "Sorry, that will make Me sick or even to Myself  "that's NOT a part of My Lifestyle."

There comes a time when you have to start DOING a thing and stop Professing it! Prayer without WORKS is DEAD! TODAY I begin Living Total Wellness, Today I begin LIVING My Journey of WELLNESS! And YES, this Journey begins before I get My Implement (WLS), I have already begun to lose weight and exercise, which is very important to the Physical aspect of My WELLNESS JOURNEY. I pray that DOING what I know as far as good eating and exercise habits will help My Implement and My Implement will help My Doing. My WELLNESS Journey involves sooo much more than just losing weight and maintaining the wt loss. But at the same time I know that losing weight can be a journey too, especially if one has not been "normal" size at any significant point in their life.

My Journey to Wellness is just a microcosm of My Greater Journey (My Life Journey) and I must never forget that. Wellness, in all of its human aspects is necessary to make a more Excellent Life's Journey. What is Physical Wellness to Me; Physical Wellness Is: (1) My Body functioning as it should, internally and externally; (2) Disease free or the disease does NOT have an impact on My Body that will interfere with necessary functioning; (3) Mobility, without pain or significant pain that would interfere with My ability to get around, and do those things in Life that I need or want to do; (4) Pain Free or the pain is managable without medication or with small inconsistant doses of medication; (5) Energy, possessing the physical energy it takes to DO the things that my Mind or Brain want/needs Me to DO; (6) Youthfulness, where the Body is aging "gracefully" or even less than "normal" ; (7) Attain and Maintain a Body weight that facilitates 1-6 above; (8) Develop and Maintain Eating and Exercise Habits per a Planned Program that will Optimize #7; (9) Look Good and Feel Good.

I'm ready and I shall follow directions...I've learned My lesson! DO what I'm instructed to DO and give My Maximum effort. I've prayed many years for the ability to effectuate a Lifestyle Change to Total Wellness, that prayer has been answered, I will be given an Implement that will help and support Me but the Implement (WLS) has to have something to "help and support." That "thing" that My Implement will help and support is My WILL; I must be willing to follow a simple plan, I must be willing to say "no" to the wrong foods and drinks that will cause Me to stray away from the WELLNESS I so much desire, I must be willing to exercise, I must be willing to change long standing habits and cultural perspectives that do not support Wellness. I AM WILLING TO CHANGE, I submit to what I have so long prayed for, WELLNESS. TOTAL WELLNESS is MY Religion ( scrupulous conformity : conscientiousness : a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor!) ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

It's a beautiful day, kinda slow and laid back. I'm listening to Jazz and ripping some to My laptop, guess I'll upload some cuts to My music player later so when D and I go to the Lake we can enjoy.

I am sooo stoked about getting My "Implement" and learning all I can about how BEST to utilize it for My Best benefit. I have been considering the LapBand because of the way I eat and the really good results I am getting from the South Beach way of eating. Of course this would work even better with RNY. Sometimes I wonder if I am considering the LapBand because of D. She is really concerned about the gastric bypass and the Seminar "scared" her. I really don't have any fear of either procedure, heck, I am willing to DO whatever is Necessary to lose this weight and KEEP it off. I am willing to take on any possible complications in the future for the opportunity to normalize My weight. I have weighed the burdens vs. the benefits, and believe Me the benefits over-whelmingly come out on top every time. At this point in My Life, I can't and won't Live like I am now; she does not understand that because she Loves and accepts Me as I am. She does not see or know what I go through psychologically and emotionally by being this big.

Even career-wise, I know I should have been General Counsel by now...but that type of position is so visible in the public eye that how one looks/image is VERY important, and I accept/understand that; actually I wouldn't have it any other way, heck, without discriminating - a standard has to be put on certain positions (in addition to skills and experience.) I guess certain positions have an "implied" criteria where the respondee knows that a "Total Package" is expected...Education, Licenses, Experience, Knowledge, Skills, Interpersonal Skills and Physically Fit (heck, even a physically or sensory challenged person must be "Fit" for certain positions.) I guess if I want to Run with the Big Dogs, I gotta have the Right Stuff to RUN with them and NOT get left behind! Shoot, I wanna set the pace - Lead the Pack...I wanna be the Lead Dog! I have No Doubt that I will get the opportunity again, then I'll be ready and see if "they" can keep up with Me.  ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

Oh today is sooo beautiful, not just the weather but also My Spirit. I'm "gittin' her done." I'm progressing right along in My testing and everything is great.

I am doing well on SB eating but I have noticed that I get some aches and pain in My hip area when I add high carbs to My diet even though they are OK under the plan, and I don't over do them. Beginning tomorrow I will reduce My intake of the high carbs (even though they are low glycemic) for a while and see if these aches go away. If they go away, I will just restrict the SB plan even more to accommodate My needs. Heck, if reducing the pain(by reducing all high carb intake) as I lose weight means no surgical solution to My hip problem, then guess what>>>I will give up high carbs or severely restrict them. Shoot, I'm about "By ANY Means Necessary" now to lose this fat, become pain free and get on with LIVING this LIFE RIGHT! I have the Life Partner that I want to Do and Share Everything with, I want to get on with LIVING in a Big way! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

Who knew, I like Oatmeal. I've always liked grits and hated oatmeal...now, since I have found out that whole grain oatmeal is better for Me than grits (per the Glycemic Index), I've dropped grits like I dropped baked, mashed and fried potatoes. One thing I like about Myself is that I am willing to give up the familiar and try the unknown or previously disliked when I know it is better for Me. Small, consistant changes like these will cause Lifestyle Change, just taking One Step FORWARD At A Time works for Me.

I know now that this "wt loss journey" is not a journey at all; it is a part of the Greater Journey that is LIFE. I realize that along Life's Journey, there are different Paths we can take along the Journey of Life...but the Path does NOT change the fact that You're on the same Journey; also on our Life's Journey there are cargo/baggage/Implements that we carry along or pick-up along the way that can burden us or make the Journey easier or happier. I have decided that WLS is NOT a separate Journey nor a Path taken on the Journey of Life, WLS is an IMPLEMENT that is picked up along the way. This Implement is GOOD, because it helps/will help us (ME) to make My Life's Journey lighter, healthier, happier and easier. Yes, WLS is One of My Major Implements on My Journey, just like My Education, Health, Confidence, Determination, Mental Toughness and Skills (Life, Professional and Personal) I have aquired along My Way. I would make it on My Journey without any of these, but the QUALITY and/ or LONGEVITY of My Life would not be worth the effort of movement. Thank You GOD for a New Awakening.
ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

Tuesday (5/19):  Breakfast: Coffee w/Truvia,1/2 Liter Water   Lunch: String Cheese, Hummas 1/4C, 4 Whole Wheat Crackers  Dinner:  Salmon 6oz., Brown Rice (6 oz) w/EVOO, Spinach w/Mushrooms and Onions   Snack: Wheatable Crackers (17), Low Cal Drink  Exercise:  Walk, Stretch
        
Wednesday (5/20): Brunch: Whole Grain Oatmeal (1/2C Dry) w/cut-up dried apricots(2), walnuts(3) and SF syrup (1/4C), 3 oz Sausage, Coffee w/Truvia, 1/2 Liter Water  Snack: Wheatables (17), Hummus (2T), Sl Ham (1), 1/2 Liter Water and 16 oz. Low Cal Drink  Dinner: White Bean Stew w/Ground Turkey (2C), Cole Slaw (1C), Chicken (2), 1/2 Liter Water, Low Cal Drink 16-24 oz.  Exercise:  Stretch
End of Day Comments: The eating is going well; I'm making the right choices, planning and preparing my meals. I know that if I don't prepare for when I get hungry I will grab anything, this is a major focus...not to get too hungry and always prepare! Preparation, Preparation, Preparation!
    
Thursday (5/21): Breakfast: Sausage (2 oz), Whole Wheat Bread (1 Sl.), Cinnamon Swerl (1), Coffee w/Truvia, 1/2 + Liter Water  Lunch: Turkey Sausage, Mini Wheat Bagel (1), Crystal Light, 1/2 Liter+ Water  Dinner: Gr Turkey Cheese Burger (6 oz), Whole Wheat Bread (2 Sl.), Cole Slaw (4 oz), Water, Low Cal Drink
Comments: I believe that the carbs have caused some acheiness so I am reducing my intake over the next 2 weeks, then I will see what's what's. I have decided to put Myself on 1000 calories per day with the SB Plan. My NUT did not give Me a caloric amount  but I need a goal post if I am to lose weight; I lost 10+ lbs already but frankly, no thanks to her. So far she has NOT been very helpful, I will note how she advises as time goes on....frankly I have learned MORE from My own research and OH than she has offered. Now I know why so many WLS Recipients let experiences determine their vitamin intake...some of these NUTs may not be equipped todeal specifically with WLS Recipients.

Friday (5/22): Breakfast: Missed   Lunch: Homemade Turkey Sausage (2), Eggs (2), 1/2 Liter Water, 10 oz Light Punch, Coffee  Dinner:

My Vitamin Intake:
M-W-F: Centrum Multi, Potassium (2)
Everyday: B Complex, B12 (1500-2K mcg), D (2-1000 IU), Biotin ( 4k-5k mcg)