VBABE681

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

3 Weeks post op and I'm 24lbs down.  Yessss  I'm so proud of myself. I've never been so committed to something besides my marriage.  I started planning out my shopping list since Sunday I start REAL FOOD.  My shopping list consist of lean proteins, low fat or fat free, sugar free and low sodium products.  Since being on this diet I learned to season my food without too much salt.  It actually tastes better.  I learned to taste food instead of just woofing it down and only knowing it taste good by its smell.  I get such a satisfaction from eating my food slower.  Some of my favorites in the mushy stage have been mashed seasoned pink beans w/ low fat cheddar cheese, egg salad, baked tilapia, grilled salmon, farina or cream of wheat for those that don't know what farina is, ff yogurt and double chocolate sf pudding.  Today I got a fill. 2.6 cc.  It was nothing and it only took like 3 mins.  She only gave me that much because I'm steadily losing 2lbs per week.  Right now I'm drinking slim fast and I still don't feel anything coming up.  Thank God I've trained to myself to chew and chew and chew so that I limit the possibilities of the food getting stuck.  Anyway that it for now.

I NEED SEX!!! Sorry for being so blunt but my sex drive is rediculous.  On Wednesday I'm going for my first fill and I think I'm going to ask Dr. Kurian if I can have sex.  I think about it all day.  I keep trying to convince Kevin but he's one of those people that just follows every rule in the fucking book.  So he doesn't want to do until I get clearance from my doctor.  I can't even begin to explain how bad it is.  I think about penis 24/7.  Am I crazy?  Am I the only one that feels this way?

I WENT SHOPPING IN MY OWN CLOSET!!!  I'M OFFICIALLY DOWN 1 SIZE FROM A 20 TO AN 18.  IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO TRY ON CLOTHES THAT  HAD NOT FIT ME IN MORE THAN A YEAR.  I HAVE A LOT OF CLOTHES.  MOSTLY SUITS SINCE WHEN I WAS WORKING IN WALL STREET I HAD TO WEAR A SUIT EVERYDAY. I DON'T PLAN TO ACTUALLY SHOP FOR CLOTHES YET BECAUSE MOST OF THE CLOTHES I HAVE ARE VERY EXPENSIVE AND I DON'T PLAN TO GIVE THEM UP SO EASILY.  SHIRTS I WILL BUY WHEN I RUN OUT OF MY SIZE BUT THE PANTS I'M HOPING TO TAILOR MOST OF THEM.  i WILL START SHOPPING AFTER I HIT THE 14 SIZES SINCE THAT IS THE LOWEST SIZE I HAVE AND THEY ARE ONLY SUMMER CLOTHES.  TODAY I AM WEARING WIDE LEG KHAKIS, MY FAVORITE PANTS THAT I HAVE WORN SINCE THIS TIME LAST YEAR.  ITS VERY EXCITING. 

So I'm finally banded.  Everything went well Thank God.  I'm still in a little pain but thats just cuz I refuse to take vicodin.  I don't like the feeling of being drowsy.  The gas pains are the worst.  When it comes up it gets stuck in my chest and feels like a heart attack.  But then it goes away and then you burp.  The hospital was great. I was super uncomfortable but they really helped with that.  My husband is such a trooper.  He stood with me all day.  He rubbed my back and fed me ice chips.  My friends Liz and Michelle came with me and they were so supportive.  My friend and future personal trainer, Edwin, came to visit me.  My sister came to visit but again all she could talk about was how she was undecisive about having the surgery,  She didn't ask me how I was doing or even that she was proud of me.  NOTHING.  The nicest thing she did was help me walk around.  Whatever this is about me and no one else.  Other than that I feel great.  I'm not hungry.  I'm taking it extra slow cuz I still don't know the difference between gas pains or hunger pains. The liquid diet did me good. I lost 15 pounds.  I don't see just yet.  My husband does.  I definitely feel it in my clothes.  Clothes that were extremely tight now fit me comfortable.  So thats a good sign.  Wednesday is my first op appt and by friday I should be on mushies.  I can't wait. 

As I approach my surgery date I wonder what my life will be like without all this weight.  I've been like this all my life and have never known what its like to be thin.  What I am most looking forward to is getting rid of the feet and knee pains.  Last night my leg was hurting so much I literally wanted to cut it off.  My feet are sore all the time.  I can't wait to be able to walk more than 5 blocks without my feet hurting so much.  I also think about my husband and how he will handle it.  I am so blessed to have Kevin in my life. His love for me is so unconditional, almost as divine as the love of Adam and Eve.  A few weeks ago, I was feeling depressed and was just laying in bed in my underwear.  He comes home from work and with his coat on, the first thing he does is lay down next to me.  He started kissing my bad leg and says "Baby are you sure about this surgery? Cuz I really do love you the way you are and what ever you decide to do I'm with you all the way".  At that moment, I really felt like the luckiest person in the world.  To have someone who loves you so deeply is unlike any other feeling.  And I really thought about what he said.  Although it made me feel at ease in my marriage, I know I have to do this because I honestly feel like there are so many things that are left for me to do and for me not to be able to do them because of my weight makes no sense.  One of the things that I will do once I lose the weight and my leg gets better is go to beauty school and get my cosmetology license.  I went to a few interviews and the classes are 4 hours.  Right now I can't stand more than 30 mins so I definitely can't do the classes right now.  The second thing I'm going to do is start dancing salsa again.  Sometimes on the bus and I can envision myself dancing and performing.  I know if I can see it I can do it.  Finally, I want to go to a water park with Kevin.  I have a phobia of wearing bathing suits. He's been begging me to go since we go to Florida every year.  Above all I just want to be a happier more sociable person.  I don't want to feel ashamed anymore. I don't want to keep failing.  I want to succeed and keep reaching beyond the stars.

So today i officially started the 2 wk pre-op liquid diet.  its not so bad since i tried it a few weeks ago and today i have a sore throat so i don’t feel like eating anyway.  so far everything is good.  i had an issue with my surgical coordinator on thursday when i went for the pre-admission test.  somehow she didn’t give me a medical record number and had my name and social under someone else’s record.  long story short, i had to wait three hours to do the chest x-ray since the medical records department had to create a new chart for me.  i made another complaint to her supervisor.  her supervisor assured me that she personally checked my file and that everything was good to go for may 12.  i’m not scared of anything in terms of the surgery.  However, since i’ve been overweight my entire life i’m nervous about actually losing weight.  Last time i lost 50lbs i would look at myself in the mirror and see the same person.  I feel like being thin is an unreacheable dream.  I wonder if anyone else understands what i’m feeling.

 

So I saw the nutritionist. The diet doesn't seem too bad.  But I'm sure that's subject to change once I get there.  I also saw Dr. Kurian.  She is so cool. She made me feel extremely comfortable.  My heart was pounding and when she was taking my pulse she felt it and told me not to be nervous. She kept rubbing my back to calm me down. It felt nice to have someone tell you it would be ok.  The only thing I'm waiting on now is the approval from HIP.  The coordinator hasn't submitted my paperwork yet.  She says she is still working on April patients.  My tentative date of surgery is May 12.  I pray that I get approved for that date cuz then I'll be ready for the summer.  I'll be able to go to some salsa socials and show them what I really got. I'm also hoping to take some Hip Hop classes. I can't wait. I hope all goes as planned. Wish me Luck.

HI EVERYONE, MY NAME IS VANESSA.  I'M 25 YEARS OLD AND AM HOPING TO HAVE LAP BAND SURGERY WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH PENDING APPROVAL FROM MY INSURANCE.  WE WILL SEE. I'VE BEEN OVERWEIGHT MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I'M READY TO END THIS BATTLE.  LUCKILY I HAVE A TERRIFIC HUSBAND, FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO ARE SUPPORTING ME.  I WOULD LIKE TO BECOME A SALSA MAMBO EXTRAORDINARE DANCER.  I AM A PRETTY GOOD DANCER BUT HAVE HAD TO STOP SINCE I'VE HAD THREE KNEE SURGERIES.  I THINK BESIDES BEING HEALTHY DANCING IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I WANT THIS SURGERY.  UNDER ALL THIS WEIGHT I AM A REALLY ACTIVE PERSON. SO I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING WHO I REALLY AM.  WISH ME LUCK.