Waterwench

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I thought I should write about my compulsive over-eating and what I am doing to try to overcome it. I have accepted that this is a lifelong battle and that the compulsion took many years to develop and that I have lived with these behaviors for most of my life. But I do NOT accept that I am powerless to live a healthy life at a normal weight and that weight gain "just happens." I have felt powerless against my weight in the past, but no longer! I can see how the continuing pattern of behaviors and wrong-thinking put me in a cycle that led to obesity and shame. By stopping these negative thoughts when they happen and avoiding triggers, as well as immediately forgiving myself if I do overeat, I am working to break the cycle.

Something that has really helped me is to keep a diet journal. I also write down all my activity, too. The one I use is called "The Dieter's Diary," by Corinne T. Netzer. It has a calorie index in the back and a place to write all your food and snacks, and your measurements, exercise and weight. I find it very handy!

I also eat one salad (either Dole's Very Veggie or Fresh Express Veggie Lovers salad mix) for lunch almost every day, with cucumbers and grape tomatoes, and not more than 2 tablespoons of dressing. Believe me, I measure! I have to, because I have serious portion control issues. I sometimes have some croutons or some pre-cooked bacon on it, never both. That helps me to feel very sated, and gets me lots of chewing into the bargain. A lot of the processed foods out there go down so easily and so fast that I don't feel like I have eaten at all. 

Another thing I do is mix in veggies whenever I can. I eat slowly and put my fork down between bites. I use my Crockpot a lot (LOVE IT!) because I'm not much of a cook, and this way I know I am making healthy meals while I am at work that are ready and waiting when I get home. My kids appreciate it, too. :)

For all the horrible chopping of veggies, I use a chopper I got at Target for $20. I can't remember what it's called, but it's white and green, and comes with two metal and plastic grid pieces. You put the vegetable over the grid, slam down the heavy lid, and the chopped veggies fall through it and into the reservoir below like magic! I can chop up an entire stew worth of veggies in less than 5 minutes.
 
I don't really like the idea of a personal trainer or fitness classes for myself, because I prefer to do things on my own, but I do like to be active. I run, and bike, mostly, and make sure I do it 5 days a week. That is my personal goal for myself, and I can see the difference in my entire body. Exercise suppresses my appetite--and I resist rewarding myself with food. And it makes me feel good. I feel extremely VIRTUOUS when I get up early to do it, or go out running after work. :)

Lastly, I never say to myself that this food or that food is forbidden. If I do, I'll start obsessing about it. If I want some ice cream, I have it. 1/2 cup serving with some berries on top or something. I write it down, 120 + 40 calories, I eat it sitting down and enjoying every bite!! And then I move on. I know I can't live life by depriving myself, because that will only increase the urge to binge-eat--it's like a boomerang!

Hurray! I am the Bionic Woman! I've lost an inch off my waist since beginning running 3 months ago, though the scale only shows a 2 to 4 pound loss. Who cares? I am into Non-Scale Victories at this point and am exultant that I am getting fitter and healthier with every step. A 29 inch waist! Oh, gosh, I haven't seen that since college!

It does make my loose skin hang off me even more dramatically, but I am trying hard to ignore that. I don't have the money to get the tummy tuck, lower body lift, arm lift and inner thigh lift that I want, but c'est la vie! I am not going to let it stop me. The compression running pants I wear help to keep everything together, although I still jiggle quite a bit.

At first it was really hard to get out there and run. I hate to be watched--it makes me feel so self-conscious! But I think I am slowly overcoming that. My mom never used to let others' shock at her scarred leg prevent her from wearing shorts when it was hot, or getting out and about to just have fun. I think that if I keep her in mind, I will eventually be able to overcome my anxieties about being criticized and judged when I am out running. 

I am now able to run 5 miles at a time, and am averaging just under 22 miles a week. I initially had some muscle soreness at the beginning of my running adventure, but ibuprofen took care of it. I have started to do a series of knee-strengthening exercises in addition to my pre-run stretching exercises. I am going to buy a set of ankle weights so I can do them at home rather than at the gym, which is more convenient for me.

Today I am taking a rest day. Sunday I am going to push the envelope a little and go for 5.5 miles on my route. I want to increase my distance slowly--no more than 10% a week--and if I can keep running for a year, train for the 2010 Portland Marathon!

I am still running/walking. This week I transitioned into actually running for two miles without stopping. I made the mistake of choosing an uphill route on Wednesday, though! It was uphill for about 1.4 miles, and downhill on the way back, but yikes! getting up the hill was difficult. Still, I felt great accomplishing something like that! 2.7 total miles of running!! But yesterday, I walked 3 miles briskly because I didn't want to overdo it. According to my plan, I have today off, but it feels weird to not run today. In spite of that, I realize my body needs time to rest and heal.

Tomorrow I am going to run very early in the day because it is going to be very HOT! And this weekend, if I can, I am going to take the boys to a matinee of the new Harry Potter movie. I feel very good, health-wise. I am eating salad and vegetables every day, still struggling with hard candies at bedtime, though! I need to change that behavior--it's holding me back. Maybe switching to lowfat popcorn?

I am very excited to report that I have started running! Now, bear in mind that I am going the slow-but-steady route--an 8 week program for the beginning runner to gradually build up to being able to run for 2 miles without stopping! I have an awesome pair of Nikes for women with wide feet (me) and insoles that are very supportive. My problem is the skin jiggling, so I am leaving early in the morning so there's less chance of people seeing me. I found a terrific Champion jog bra which is supportive, but no matter what kind of running pants I use, I can see and feel my skin literally slapping against my bones as I go. Weird!

I am at the end of week 2, moving into week 3 on Monday. I can definitely feel it in the muscles around my knees and at the backs of my knees, but nothing too horribly painful. I usually take 800mg ibuprofen before I get started on the run, and I live in a hilly neighborhood, so there's some built-in resistance there. I tried running on a track once or twice, but it is so boring! I at least want the scenery to change a bit as I go. Plus I have my Zune music player, with all my rockin' playlists on it, and it helps to motivate me to keep on moving!

One of my guy friends has mentioned on two occasions when other guys have "checked" me out. What a hoot! Once when I was dancing at the Dublin Pub, and once when we were walking in Northwest Portland. I thought he was making it up, but I did notice yesterday that a couple of gazes fixed on me as I went by. It's very flattering, but I dread the thought of exposing myself to anyone without the protection of supportive clothing. Flabby skin doesn't just magically go away, y'all!

Anyway, I am psyched to report my running. I can also see a difference in my arms--my deltoids and biceps are getting more defined. Yay! I'm going to keep on keepin' on! I'll keep you posted, folks.

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Okay, here's another attempt to post my weight loss ticker! --Heather

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I'm back after a long hiatus, and have lost 137 pounds so far! I DID get down to 146 during a very bad emotional period in my recent life, in which constant stress and stomach cramps prevented me eating, but I regained the weight after a week's travel and 3 times a day fast food diet. Yikes! I am back on the wagon, journaling my food again, and feeling good about my choices.

I AM A SIZE 8!!!!!!!!!   I started as a size 26!! I am so psyched that I have the control to spot when I have gained a relatively small amount and then make an effort to stop destructive eating habits. I have come so far!! I feel like my life is on the upturn, even though I am currently out of work in this sucky economy, and looking, looking, looking for a job. I'm sure I will find one soon.

Here's a shout-out to my homies! Let me know how you're doing!

Slow and steady wins the race. I am exercising three times a week, trying to eat mindfully and healthily and avoiding the Christmas cookies! 48 pounds to go!

It's been ages since I have had time to write. I have been studying like mad and finally passed my national certification boards for nurse-midwifery on October 11th! I am a CNM, people! Whew! It was a long time coming, but worth it!

So, when I got under 200 pounds I could see the end of the road ahead of me. I couldn't believe it when I dipped UNDER the number that has plagued me most of my adult life!!  I still have 60 pounds to go, but I feel like I can do anything since dropping almost 100 pounds in 6 months. I am a size 14 now...I would like to get to at least a size 10. I am now losing about 1-2 pounds a week, but the bummer is that I have not been exercising, so I know the slowed weight loss is entirely my fault. I have been stuck with my head in the books for three months and completely ignoring my need for physical activity. However, I have been feeling so good about myself and my body that I have been going on a lot more spontaneous walks downtown, and walking the dog, mall-walking, etc. I guess it's better than nothing! Now that the pressure of the exam is over, I will focus on re-integrating activity into my life. 

I have also sent out a bunch of resumes, so let's sit back and see what opportunities present themselves. I'll keep you posted, folks!

Well, the weight loss has slowed, as expected, but I know I could do more to enhance it. This week I started recumbent biking 3 times a week on my machine at home, so I feel good about that! I also have been keeping up with my diet journal and realizing in myself a tendency to graze. So I have been writing down every single bite I take, even if it is one potato chip, or 3 grapes. I want to track where my head is at during these munching adventures. Summer makes it very difficult to resist ice cream, as well. So I stocked up on sugar-free popsicles and hope to realize my dream of total ice cream resistance!! Fight the power!!

I've been getting lots of compliments at work about my slimmer appearance. Lots of times folks greet me with,"Hey, Skinny!" I think it's a hoot! I'm down 76 pounds and my scrubs are getting looser and looser. I know I can make it to my goal of 130--I just have to keep at it. I can do it!