brownblonde
Ready for things to be different. But ready for change?
May 14, 2010
I was talking to my sister about this last night and I said "I can't wait for things to be different! But honestly I don't know if I'm ready to change."I don't know how I will feel after surgery. Will I truly physically dislike carbs? If that's the case, awesome! But I have my doubts. I just don't like all these "rules" because I feel like they set me up for failure. I think going into this thinking that at 7, 8 months out I can't eat any carbs will have the same effect it always has--ut oh, I did eat carbs. I'm a terrible screw up. Now I better stuff myself full of donuts and chips until Monday comes. That is exactly the mentality I am trying to avoid.
I don't understand why people get to where they can't lose any more weight after surgery, or that it's carbs fault. I'm just being honest and I just don't understand. Are they eating more than they say they are? I don't see how someone eating 1000 calories could not lose weight, or actually gain weight. Maybe slow down, but stop or reverse? I hope this doesn't happen to me! Furthermore, I still believe that calories are calories when it comes to weight. There are several connected issues, such as what makes you feel fuller longer, what is a trigger food for you, what could stretch your stomach out--but in the grand scheme of things a 1000 calorie plate of whole wheat pasta with meatsauce is equivalent to 1000 calorie chicken breast, is it not?
Here is where I am at: I have a MUCH better chance of short term success with WLS. Actually, it is probably the only solution for me. As far as long-term success--that was never going to be easy. After the protein fast I stopped drinking shakes and started eating carbs and quickly regained. After HCG injections my stomach was much smaller and it took me a little longer, but it came back on. Even after Weight Watchers where I supposedly learned a "lifestyle," I gained weight. Still, I think the Weight Watchers approach to long-term success is best. I'm realistic about things: I KNOW I will have to exercise to keep weight off. In the past, the only way I was truly successful with weightloss was to exercise. I can get away with so much more if I exercise, but at 270lbs. that is such a job. I view exercise as a component of the surgery. My family already knows that I will be compelled to start walking as soon as I have surgery. I also know there may be a time when I become hungry again. This is no different from "normal" people who keep their weight down, or people who have been successful at maintaining weight. I hope to never be hungry again but that's a little optimistic. I'm planning on having to deal with hunger when it strikes. I know I will have to make good choices. I've done this in the past, and I do it now to some extent.
I do expect WLS to be the difference-maker, especially in the short run (ie the losing stage). I also expect it to be a difference-maker in the long-term, but of a different sort. I look at surgery as the salt in the dish. I have all the other ingredients--you know, the determination, desire to exercise, good decisions, control, etc. If you have ever had a dish without salt in it, you know that all the other ingredients are as good as nonexistent. The salt brings those flavors to life--and that is my strange analogy for what I expect WLS to do.
