brownblonde
Food Guilt
Mar 09, 2016
I seem to keep gaining. I have some thoughts on that. But for now I want to talk about food guilt.
It's the whole "starving children in China" "clean your plate so you can get a gold star/dessert" mentality.
I eat too much. That's what got me here. I can whine about the fact that I apparently have a very poor metabolism that causes me to gain weight on even a comparatively low calorie diet. But if I want results, the simple fact of the matter is I eat too much.
That's what got me here. And restricting my eating is what caused me to lose weight. It was not a pretty way to lose weight. And it involved severe restriction that I don't think I could have ever accomplished without the help of the sleeve. But, again, the fact of the matter is that I ate too much. And eating less caused me to lose 126lbs.
Although maybe not as drastic of a difference (about a 10lb. gain over 4 1/2 years), eating too much, I have concluded, is once again the culprit of my weight gain. It's a little more complicated than that--I could certainly make my food go farther my making healthier choices, and I could add in exercise. But mostly it's a numbers game and less is more.
But now it's not so easy to turn down food. I do have more room in my pouch. In fact, I just might be hungry for it. And once again I find it hard to say no to people. I want to eat out in any social situation. Early after surgery I was armed with the excuse that I had surgery (at least to my family), and I was really good about protecting my sleeve and moving food around my plate to avoid overeating in front of others. But now I don't have that. I have hunger, a desire to seem sociable when eating out with others, and I have food guilt.
Food guilt. The other reasons I listed above make some sense. Hunger seems like a really good reason to eat, or at least understandable. And although social pressure is not the best one, I can kind of see how that fits in. But food guilt?
I am very fortunate that I can afford a diet that keeps me at a healthy weight....errr nearing overweight. My husband and I have the ability to buy groceries and go out to eat, etc. This is not a problem for us financially. I say this only to assure you how absurd my food guilt problem is! I want to eat more of that burger to make it seem worth it. I want to eat more because by-gosh I spent the money. I want to eat more because it's there. I want to eat more because it drives me crazy to throw it away. I want to eat more because there are starving children in China. I do not mean to make light of world hunger. But what will my eating my whole plate of food do to change that? In fact, that's the perfect question to ask when I stare, guilt-ridden, at my uneaten half plate of food. Eating the whole plate won't save me money (occasionally a restaurant offers a light portion). I'm going to have to pay for that food whether I eat it or not. I was able to pay for an entire plate of food when I was morbidly obese. It did nothing. But cost me my health.
