Jealousy, men, stalls, and other unhappy things

Jan 10, 2011

 So I am in a slump.  My scale is not moving again.  How can I be in another stall when I just came out of one like 2 weeks ago?  My so called BF got a test message last night from his ex and that threw me into a fit of jealousy and unhappiness.  Why is it that I have lost 43 pounds in the last 6 weeks and I still give myself absolutely zero credit?  To be honest this girl isn't all that cute, she is average I should not be comparing myself to her and driving myself crazy over this foolishness.  I know the answer: if he wants to be with her fine, then he obviously wasn't the one for me.  I can tell myself that over and over again but it doesn't make going through all this any easier.  I feel stupid for even letting myself get upset over this craziness.  I mean why should I want a man that does these random things?  I want a man that loves me, is good to me, and would do anything for me.  Because that is how I treat him.  He has gone through a rough time the past 2 years, his family totally was unhelpful but I just knew that if I stood by his side maybe I could show him that there are good people out there and you don't have to go through the struggle alone.  Ok, we get through the drama and this is how I get repaid??  By hearing those words "hey how much does it cost to change my number?"  I replied, well I just changed it Friday when I got you the new phone so who has your number now?  And he replied, my ex.  I totally lost it.  Cried, stormed out of the house, left drove around town, came back, yelled, and then went to bed.  He tried to make it better by telling me that he doesn't want to be with her, but it went in one ear and out the other.  I have decided that I am not going to talk about it anymore.  I am not even going to bring it up.  I have been living with him and his mom for 2+ years helping them out.  Now I have to look into helping ME out.  I am still healing for surgery, still going through things with my food and protein intake.  I work full time (he doesn't have a job) I have a 7 year old, and I am a full time student.  I don't have time to be stressed out because a man wants to do foolish things.  I pray that God give me the strength to just let it go.  And move on.  I pray that God clear my mind and allow me to think about other things, allow me to see my self in a more positive light and allow me to never stay with another man who wants to bring me down and make me unhappy.

P.S. I also pray that the scale moves in the morning.  LOL

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