Another setback

Jun 05, 2011

 I seem to be having a lot of these "setbacks" lately.  I am finding that I have a much harder time sticking to portion size and eating the correct foods when I am at home on the weekends.  I do great at work...probably because I don't have the fridge in the next room calling my name.  This weekend wasn't that bad...but it wasn't that good either.  I had salads (which are healthy right??) but with regular full fat ranch and not with just the 2 tablespoon serving size.  I always loved a little lettuce with my salad dressing not the other way around.  I made french fries (shoot me) and ate a small bowl of those, popcorn (with butter), I did eat some healthier things like eggs, cheese, shrimp, but the scale once again has went from 208 the middle of last week to 213 today....so once again I will be struggling all week to get back to the weight I was last week.  ON TOP of that this weekend totally sucked!!!  I found out that BF has a 2nd cell phone, like the brand new iPhone 4 that I got him a few months ago wasn't good enough....he TOLD me that he thought I was ready to turn his phone off so he went and bought a prepaid phone.  Ok, no problem because I am going to turn his phone off.  Then his mom comes in and tells me that she bought the phone for him a few months ago....so he has been hiding this 2nd phone from me for months.  You would think as his "girlfriend' that I would have been the first person to have that phone number.  I would have been the first person to know about this 2nd phone.  I think that the respectable thing to have done would have been to tell me...."hey my mom bought me this phone because we was arguing, here is the number and here is your iPhone back" or "hey my mom bought me this phone when we was arguing but now that things have calmed down I am going to give it back to her"(2 months ago).  I simply think that it is really shady that he kept this a secret from me.  Honestly it was just another reality check slap in the face.  But for some reason this one really hurt.  I think I have been trying to stay so strong, not cry, not really show much emotion....this killed me.  I went "psycho chick" which is not even in my nature, I left my own  house and took my son and the dog and we went and stayed in a hotel on Friday night.  Saturday morning I got up and went to look at a condo....which was AMAZING by the way, right by the pool, 2 bedrooms, tile flooring!!  Then I went home because I honestly didn't have anywhere else to go.  That is when his mom comes to me and says "I just wanted to let you know I am moving next week".  GREAT right!!!!  Not so much because she also told me that since she is moving on such short notice that she can't pay the bills that she had already agreed to pay.  So guess what????  I won't be able to move now.  The guy with the condo wants to rent it out ASAP and I live in a college town so he could have it rented right now if he wanted to.  He said that he would work with me but wants the deposit to hold the place until my August 1st move in date.  Well I can't pay bills at 2 locations so I have decided to just stay at the house I have now until my lease is up.  Then maybe I can find something else, get back my full deposit and finally be able to move on.  It seems as if no matter what I do I always get sucked right back into the BS.  Always.  Frustrating.  But I am not going to give up, maybe I will find another place between now and August 1st that will be a perfect fit!  Gotta try and stay positive right!!!   

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