A different summer

Jul 14, 2011

 I know its been a while since I blogged last, but i have to tell you it has been BUSY around here!  It is a different kinda summer this year.  That's what i tell folks when they ask me how my summer is going.  For the first time in years, I am able to help my folks with what they need done.  I'm mowing and trimming and staining decks, planting and weeding.  All things that i don't necessarily enjoy doing, but i enjoy being ABLE to do them.  Last year i couldn't leave the air conditioning without getting ill and not being able to breathe well.

I go swimming this year.  I couldn't do that last year.  Not only was i physically unable to swim, i would have been too embarrassed to be seen at the pool.  I go down as often as i can with the kids and swim now.  We travel and go to water parks in other towns.  Right now my biggest problem is a nasty sunburn from going swimming all day.  lol  

I can play games with the kids including kick ball, dodge ball, baseball, and jumping on the trampoline.  we have a great time together.  I haven't gotten as far with the biking as i would like, but we are walking and moving.  

I also got a life.  lol.  Not only do i work outside the home now, I go out with my girlfriends and sing karaoke.  I play darts and bowl.  I am also dating again.  Nothing serious, just having fun.  I feel like a kid again.  

I feel like not only is my health returning, but this surgery has given me back my connection with people.  I am a better mom.  I am a better daughter.  I am a better friend.  All the things i wanted to be, and just didn't know how.  I am finally giving back to the people who loved me and supported me no matter what.  That makes me feel great!  

i went shopping in a store for clothes.  that was major for someone who had only been able to buy things from catalogs.  I dressed up in my new clothes and did my hair and makeup.  and then i look in the mirror.  I thought, who the heck is that??  i honestly didn't recognize me.  And for the first time, maybe ever, i felt sexy and beautiful.  I had to giggle as i stood there.  Turns out, i really didn't want to be someone else.  I just wanted to be who i was meant to be.  

I will tell you one weird thing that is still happening to me.  I still sometimes act as tho i am still 450 pounds.  For example.  In the pool i was using the stairs that walk you in and out of the pool gradually, not the ladders on the side.  Finally just this week, my friend said, Jodi, try the ladder!  you can do it!  you are not as big as you once were and i know you are working out.  use your muscles and get out of this pool!  So i went up to the ladder and looked around to make sure no one was watching.  And i put my hands on the ladder...and then my foot.  Took a deep breath...and pulled.  And about shot myself out of the water.  lmao.  It was easy to get in and out!  I pulled like i was lifting the old me out.  lmao.  My friend started laughing at the look at my face...well that and the fact that i really did about launch myself out of the water from pulling too hard.  It was fun.  But i do that a lot.  i will still look at things and thing...oh i cant do that.  and you know, maybe somethings i cant yet.  but I'm trying to not let that fear rule me.  I am going to try things.  I just have to get used to this new body.  

it is definitely a different kinda summer!  and I'm loving it! 

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