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I cant sleep tonight, up thinking...... what if I don't get approved for surgery? have I done enough to insure they don't have a reason to deny me? what will be my next step if I'm denied?  Don't have any answers right now. I'm not sure what I will do. I wonder too am I ready? Ive done everything Ive been ask to do. but am I emotionally ready?  I want this but will I really be successful?  everything else Ive tried has not worked.  my insurance requirements have consumed my life, all I think about is this surgery, I feel like I'm waiting to live. This is not like me, Ive been put on hold. Can I handle  a denial? I'm sure I can, and I will do what everyone else has done, Ill keep trying. this is the toughest 6 months I have put in, not physically but emotionally, I'm still thinking it probably wont happen for me. but if God allows me to have this surgery I will be successful. I can hang in for a few more weeks.

Good lord when I read this back to myself I realize how pathetic I sound, I really need to go to bed...   sometimes things look better in the sunshine.

I did not do well this month so glad my 6 months is over I only lost 0.8 lbs this month, I'm not going to make excuses I just did not do what I know I should have. I could have done better, I have no intention on quitting because my supervised diet is over. I'm going to continue to try to exercise and diet, obviously I need to do better than I did this month but hey, I still lost some weight...right?  my follow up appt is 7/6 then we can submit, keep your fingers crossed, I hope this goes smoothly.

My knee is almost done!!! I want to continue this exercise program but I don't think I am going to be able, its so swollen and hot, Celebrex is not helping anymore. I honestly have given it my all, but my Knee is rebelling maybe a night of ice will help. Im so close, Ive just got to push it a little more, I know my knees and back will thank me when they are not carrying all this weight around, right now its time for some R&R,
 Hope it feels better tomorrow!

 oh well I think I may have gained this month, weigh in is tomorrow!!! I'm up 1 pound according to my scale, could have something to do with aunt Flo not arriving on schedule this month, I'm bloated and fluid filled. to say nothing of the fact that Ive been a little lax this month in the diet dept. I'm getting so tired of this diet and exercise, glad I only have one month to go, hope I can hang in for one more month!! this month was a total failure!!! Ive got to get back on track, its just one more month.........right? I need good vibes!!

Nut requirements are now met for ins, I will have one more post-op but for now Im done!!!, two more weigh-ins and months of exercising and we can submit to ins!!!! Im one more step closer to my goal!

I hope I never forget the behaviors that put me in this position, or how hard the journey has been, how very hard the dieting and testing has been, I am going to be a success story! I will refuse to go back to the eating habits that got me where I am today ,............... I hope I return to read this if I forget where I came from,  I am learning, also learning from others mistakes. I am moving forward, and I refuse to look back, or set myself up for failure.
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sorry this was a little bit of a rant... I got pretty heated when someone ask how to binge with the sleeve????
I couldn't understand why after going through all of this you would want to.....most of what I put in my blogs is info for me to look back on after surgery.

     

well its been a busy week weigh-in Monday F/U with the cardiologist yesterday, and today 1on1 with the nutritionist. cardiac clearance is done every thing is fine,.....good to hear!... except he thinks I can do this on my own without surgery,  he was all hyped because Id lost 5 lbs since my last visit to him, he said anyone who can lose the weight does not need surgery. oh well I know I can loose the weight, its keeping it off I have trouble with. Good thing he doesn't have say on if I get ins approval. I know I need this and it will help, I just need a little help.

Nutritionist, was nice no problems there she thinks I'm doing everything they way I should, except she was concerned that I listed OH as part of my support team. she said there are a lot of neg things on here, I told her for every one neg thing on here there are at least 20 that are positive. I cant bury my head and pretend that complications don't happen, but it helps me to know that they can be fixed. everyone is different and that's ok, it helps me to hear of others experiences, and what they have learned along the way. I have NO intention of giving this up.......I love OH!!!!!

Well after a rocky start to this month I somehow managed to meet my goal, of losing 5 lbs I'm down 5.4 lbs, yeah can you believe it, it was sooo hard this month the exercising is really hard on my knees and back but I keep trying, usually manage to walk a mile at least 5 days a week but my knees are paying the price, but I now have another month down 2 more to go. I may make it after all!!

next... Wendsday appt with cardiologist for report, then NUT 1on1 Thursday.

weight loss goal for next month 5lbs.

echo/stress is done, Im sooooo glad. Dr said everything is ok, Im good to go, one step closer to my goal!!


weigh in is Monday, Im nervous!!

Nutrition one on one sced for April 14, and nutrition group April 27.  and $200.00 nutrition fee paid. one more thing off my list! By the end of April most of my requirements will be done. June6 I will finish my 6 month diet and exercise requirement, and will be ready to submit to ins for approval.
Hopeful to get a surgery date in July or Aug.........Moving along!!!