LOL Life is FUNNY
Jun 11, 2009
Well ,, what a journey this is turning out to be !!! I woke up to the phone ringing this morning and guess who it was ?The Dr. telling me surgery was back on and Tuesday the 16 th was the day!!!! I dont understand any of this, but i guess my Drs' got together and spoke in conference or some thing and they agreed that surgery was OK and NOT a risk for me !!! Make up their minds already ,,When the nurse talked to me she said "even if i have to have surgery in the future,,,I'd be healthier",,,SOOOOO I am overjoyed that surgery is sooo soon ,,,,,and dont have to wait and be anxious for weeks ,,once again ,I'm excited :) and scared all at once, Just think only 5 days !!! BUT i have to say I'm sooo scared to get my hopes up to have them stomped on again ,,,,,,
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Did someone say journey?
Jun 10, 2009
Seems like this journey has more bumps and turns than i expected ,,,Now my lap-band has been postponed for 3 months :( The doctor wants to wait 3 months to see what this tumor is gonna do , since it wasn't a definitive report he doesn't feel comfortable putting in a lap-band if there's still a chance of carcinoma .I went shopping today with my daughter and looking at things i "thought" i might be wearing next year really hurt deep in my heart , I am still gonna stay on my liquids and one lean and green meal a day or maybe all liquids,I just wanted to be at a healthy weight and be "normal" I fought for 2 yrs to get this far just to be postponed 2 times,, I feel like a failure to my self. I guess this is a new and different journey I will have to work thru .BUT i will never give up !!!!
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Never give up :)
Jun 02, 2009
Wow ,,,,, Wow ,,,, Is all I can say right now ,,I just got the report form y doctor,,, seems the guy at metro imagining wrote the wrong word on my MRA It was surposed to be left kidney adrenal adnenoma NOT carcinoma, which is a tumor usually benign ,, SOOOOO SURGERY IS BACK ON ,,,, maybe as soon as friday the 5th of june ,,, thats THIS friday !!!!!! but they might have me wait till the following tuesday !!! but I really would like to get this done ASAP I want to thank everyone who said a prayer or nice word !! ALL YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME !!!!! i go once again for surgery clearance tomorrow morning at 10:15 and hope all goes well so i dont have to reschedule again
4 comments
life got in the way :(
May 29, 2009
Well...I'm not sure where to start,, the last 9 days have been a big cluster F***,,, I was soo excited to become a loser and sit with everyone on the losers bench but right now i am feeling like a failure. I'm not writing this for any ones sympathy , just to get my feelings out and let you all know how fast life can change , and how fast mine has changed . My life changed when i started the liquid diet, I didn't tolerated the high protein whey very well which in turn caused a bad case of gastritis ,,, some how that turned into a kidney infection which turned septic on me in a matter of days,,, probably the sickest i think i have ever been in my life ,,,but i guess either i was sick b4 and didn't know it or my immune system was compromised for some reason ,,,,, any way i was in the hospital for 6 days . I had lot of tests done and I thought everything was fine and i could go on and have the WLS and go on with my life ,but things started happening soo fast ,,cat scan showed left adrenal kidney fullness ,, found a spot on my left kidney they told me nothing to worry about , MRI showed "spots" or lesions on my left kidney again was told nothing to worry about probably just shadows but needed to do an MRA ,,, well,,now i was told i had left adrenal carcinoma, I am now in a stage of numbness ,,, all i wanted was to lose weight and be healthy ,I guess i am feeling sorry for myself cause I'm trying to figure out what the hell I did ,,I cant cry I'm too numb,But i know whats ahead of me and maybe some day i will still be able to have the WLS or maybe i wont need to or hell ,, i dont know what the hell ,, too many maybe's at this point ,,,I guess ill turn it over to God. i will know more next week and whats next . I'm not sure where i fit in with everyone but i feel theres some that i have made friends with and i just wanted to let them know I didn't chicken out or any thing ,,LIFE got in the way. Hummmmm,,,, if i have to have surgery ,,, maybe i can talk them into doing WLS at the same time ,,,doubt it but what the hell !!!!!
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My WOW moment
May 20, 2009
I really thought this was a dream ..BUT today it became a reality !!! I have Lap Band Surgery on May 29th at 10 am ,,,I have just sooo many emotions,,and I know everyones gone thru what I am going thru right now ,,,,but WOW I've got the major weegeeies !!!! LOL If it wasnt for everyone on here ,,,OH ,,, and talking .and feeling my fears and calming them as well and sharing my excitment I'm not sure how far i would have gotten ,,, thanks to everyone !!!!
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