carbonxmade

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

i can officially say i'm less than half the girl i used to be!
what an amazing year this has been. the "easy" part is over.
let the hard work begin! 
(it's been hard work all along, but now it's gonna get even tougher)

i noticed today that my bmi is 29.5. i couldn't remember what category that put me in so, of course i used the bmi calculator to figure it out. i smiled the biggest smile when i saw this:
"You have a BMI of 29.4.
This shows that you are moderately overweight.
Your BMI is not high enough to qualify you for bariatric surgery."
this is insane. i went from being super morbidly obese->morbidly obese->obese->overweight in a matter of 10.5 months. i am amazed. and i don't even care if i ever get to the "normal" range.
i am so thankful every day for the decision i made.

so, i made it to my original goal i set with my surgeon. i wanted to get to 190, and i did on monday! took me 8 months!  :) now everything else is just extra. i'm hoping to lose another 20-30 pounds. i'm pretty sure i can do that.

I made it to ONEderland this week! I think it's been about 13 years since I've seen a number like that. What a ONEderful feeling

today marks 6 months since surgery for me. i've lost 108 pounds, and a whopping 38 inches! i'm feeling great.
i hope i can keep on the right track and lose another 50 pounds....even if it takes me another 6 months to do it. 

now is the time to really buckle down and get into a serious workout routine. no more excuses! :)

a friend of mine posted this quote and i really believe they're words wisdom; words to live by. it really hit home with me.

‎"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end." ~Unknown

i can say, for once in my life, i am happy being me. 

you know you're on the right track when people who work in the same building as you (but don't see you often) don't recognize you. Two ladies were talking and said "isn't that the girl that works over in that department?" and when the other one said "no" i almost did a little happy dance. i smiled. later on the lady who said "no" saw me in the parking lot and just couldn't believe it was really me. it felt so good. i've never been one to take compliments easily, but i never get tired of hearing them. while i had this surgery to improve my health and my quality of life, the outward appearance is just a bonus. i feel great, and for the first time in my life i'm beginning to be able to say i care about myself and i love myself. that's a huge step in this journey - and hopefully i won't trip and fall. 

just gonna kinda ramble in this one......


i hit -100lbs  2/07/11...one day before my 5 month anniversary. :) i can't even describe how happy/excited i was! then of course i only lost .5lbs the next week. we'll see what tomorrow brings.

this journey has not been the easiest, but it's not been the hardest. i just keep plugging away. i could never, ever say i've been disappointed!!! the only thing that freaks me out is the hair loss. i've probably lost about half my hair. :/  it's slowed down quite a bit so i hope it decides to start growing back soon. i cut a lot of my hair off, and the new sassy 'do is fabulous.

just a couple things. i completed my first 5k thanksgiving morning (i walked the turkey trot in detroit, mi). i was so proud of myself. and it was awesome having my sister there at the finish line to see me finish (she ran the 10k). i felt so accomplished.
with that being said, i will be doing my first half marathon 4/30/11. i'm afraid of not being able to finish! i know i can do it if i put my mind to it, but it's just scary. i finally got my butt going back to the gym and walking so i can better prepare myself for the 13.1 miles i'll have to endure and finish in less than 4 hours. eek! 

i go to see my surgeon tomorrow. i guess i could consider it my 6 month post-op appointment. hopefully the scale has moved just a little bit. it doesn't freak me out to hit a stall...and to be perfectly honest i am convinced i'm gaining muscle but still losing fat. so the scale not moving doesn't really bother me. i just don't want it to go up! i think being a once a week weigh-er helps me out a little too. i think that if i weighed every day i'd go crazy seeing the possible ups and downs. i actually threw my scale away a couple months ago and just weigh in every monday at my support group. i'm excited to see dr. pesta (my surgeon) tomorrow. i feel i've done well so far on this journey. :)

i attend a support  group every monday. it is amazing. it really keeps me going and keeps me focused. there are some amazing people in that group, and i'm so glad to get to know them more and more each week. they've been inspirations to me, and i hope that i can in turn be an inspiration to others down the road as well.  

i've gone from an extremely tight size 28 pants and a 4x top to a size 18 or 20 pants and a 1x top in 5 months. that's just crazy to me. and you know what? i tried on my boyfriends size large jacket from old navy today, and it fit! zipped and all (and i was wearing a sweatshirt!).

gosh, it's the little things that make you feel so good. 

So, let's see. My surgery is in 3 more days. I feel like I'm not prepared enough. Not in terms of mentally...but with having all the things I think I'm going to need while at home. Protein powders, liquid, soft foods...etc. Guess I'll be shopping today. I am seriously not looking forward to Tuesday either. I have never done a bowel prep, nor do I want to find out what one is like. But such is life. I figure if I can make it through that, Wednesday will be a breeze. Haha.  
I've been on my two week liquid diet, which I actually started early. But yesterday I cheated and had some fried rice from the local thai place. I just couldn't help myself. And I've done so well for the past 2 and half weeks I figured a little bit of rice wasn't going to hurt me. But after I ate it and thought about it, I just went through the thought process that I always battle. "Just a little bit won't hurt..." Then a little bit turns into a lot and so on. I'm sure most of us know what that's like. Only difference is, is that I'll have a little help controlling that in a few days. I'm nervous about missing food, and feeling left out. "Well, I want to eat that too!" is what I fear I'll think all too often, but hopefully not. 
This journey has brought out a lot of different emotions. I'm pretty much past the excitement part of it all and I'm just plain nervous. I know everything will turn out ok, but it's still hard to wrap my head around what I'm actually going to be doing. I never thought this day would actually come, and look, here it is 3 days away. Wish me luck. I'll take all the good happy thoughts that anyone is willing to give. 

 This past week I received my surgery date...September 8th. I have to tell you, I am excited/scared/worried/overwhelmed...you name it, I'm probably feeling it! I've been going through the process since about May to finally get to this point. It's been a whirlwind of emotions but I know I am doing the right thing for myself. All the hoops I had to jump through were fine except the sleep study. The doctor found that I have very mild sleep apnea and sent me for a second sleep study to get a c-pap titration prescription. Turns out that my insurance says my sleep apnea is not "severe" enough to cover the c-pap machine (which my doctor admitted that I maybe wouldn't even need, especially after surgery) and that I'd have to self pay. And since the doctor suggested that I get the darn machine, I had to in order to move forward with the surgery. I was not a happy camper, I paid for the thing...and I get the worst sleep I've ever gotten with that damn thing. 
Anyway, I'm not too excited to start the liquid diet, but I did 6 months of it on a supervised weight loss plan through the hospital so hopefully 2 to 3 weeks will be a walk in the park for me. I actually don't mind the shakes and think they're pretty good. I just hope I still like them after surgery! 
I'm trying to get everything together and prepared so I have everything I need when the surgery does finally come. I don't want to be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off the last week trying to get everything together. I'd much rather be over-prepared (if there is such a thing) than unprepared, if you know what I mean. It makes me nervous to buy protein powders and drinks before surgery cause there's no telling what I'll actually like after all is said and done. Guess it will all be trial and error. 
I do have to say that is board has been such a great help and source of information and inspiration though. Without it I may have never been able to make the decision to go through with surgery. But who knows. 
Wish me luck and send some happy thoughts my way. I'll appreciate it :)
Oh, and scoot over/squish together and make some room for me on the losers bench!