Maria P.

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Thankfully, my obsessive personality is helping me to stay focused on committed to staying on the program. So far I am down at least 10 pounds since starting last Monday. Most of last week was detox symptoms that had me running to the restroom frequently. The lemon water, grapefruit and pineapple in the morning helped to flush my liver and colon quite well. Today I started working back out with the trainer and it went well. I actually felt lighter having ten pounds less to lift and run around. Well now only 100 more to go! Stayed tuned and pray that this works or it is back to the doctor for WLS.

Well this year the lesson that God wants to begin teaching me is about self-control and discipline. A few years ago it was on patience, but I have passed that test and He is moving me on to more difficult task. I know that I need to get this in order to continue on my path of spiritual growth with Him. I need to learn to control the thoughts in my head that tell me to overeat and eat things that I crave. The cravings must become undercontrol. So this week I am going to go Raw once again, the last time I did it I lost 10 pounds in one week. I already have Alissa Cohen's Book and have reviewed other websites to help me learn what my body will need as I make this transition. I hope to start the first week with a detox and then go on to 70% raw eating until I can eventually go 100%. I want to do this in order to number one get closer to God in the form of a spiritual fast and number two to lose weight. The weight loss can happen fast if I can work on allowing God to strengthen me. I will also continue to work out with the trainer to develop my core body strength. I will let you know how it goes. Until next time. Here is a website in case you are interested. www.rawreform.com and www.alissacohen.com .

Well it has been just over a month since I posted. I have made some progress but not as it relates to the scale. I do notice my body changing its form and my stomach less puffy. The personal training is really helping and easing some of my sciatica and back pains. However I still am struggling with food. I love it and I still find myself being an emotional eater. This is now the challenge to work on self-control and discipline so that I can stop eating the sweets and too many carbs. I have to go back on my plan and stop using my PMSing as a free card to eat whatever I want because I do not know when to stop and one week has turned into one month of poor eating, or at least it feels like it. I am going to make a plan and go back to preparing my food in advance and do better about exercising on the days that I am not working out with Rod, my super fine trainer :-) Until next time.

Well this week was more of a challenge for me. I went to the trainer on Monday and had a great work out. However, I had to fly out of town Tuesday night to give a keynote speech in Florida at Nova Southeastern University for their Take Back the Night event. I spoke out against domestic violence and gave my survivor story. Unfortuately, I did not plan well and frankly was broke. So I did not eat right. It is a lot easier for me to stay on top of things as far as planning what I am eating when I am at home and can pre package my foods. So needless to say, after the event I ate 10 chicken nuggets from Wendy's in replace of a normal healthy meal. Then the next morning when I went to fly out, again being broke and not wanting to do anything wrong, I just did not eat anything at all and I had a protein bar and an orange in my purse. I do not know what I was thinking. My brain must have been foggy from the processed nuggets. Anyway, I ate better once I landed but the wheels were already in motion and I was feeling bad from not eating breakfast. I pressed on however, and tried to workout with Rod (the trainer) but somehow we had a miscommunication and he was not at the center. The next day I was feeling depressed because I neglected to take my zoloft and had forgotten to take my BC pill, so my hormones were whack. So I called Rod and told him I would not make it on Thursday. Then I headed to Chik fli A and ordered some chicken nuggets and splurged with a Cookie and Cream Milkshake. What makes it worse is I did not have the motivation to workout by myself so I have not exercised sense last Monday. I am trying but I recognize the challenge is now beginning. I have to continue positive thinking and fighting the beast inside that tries to convince me I need something sweet to eat. Next week should be better as I have not out of town trips planned. I just need to plan better next time so I do not go off on this tangent again. Pray my strength. Stay tuned...

I started working with this Personal Trainer named Rod. (http://www.achieve-fitness.com/personal_trainer_atlanta.htm). He has been kicking my butt big time. I basically am in boot camp for weight loss. He is great and gives a powerful workout. I can already see my body changing shape after one week. I got on the scale this morning and noticed I have not lost one pound but have been eating right all week. Thank God Rod warned me not to get on the scale but to look for a noticeable change in the way my clothing fits. I am also aware that muscle weighs more than fat so I will press on and see how it goes. I am keeping a record of everything I eat and planning and preparing my daily meals a week in advance. I also signed up with the Atlanta Zone Diet so they will deliver four dinner meals every week right to my front door. I have even noticed that my breathing is getting better and I am not so winded after going up the stairs, that is amazing if you ask me since its only been one week. I am doing everything I need to do so we shall see what happens. Stay tuned...

Well this is my first posts for the new year and I am getting my mind ready for a change. This is probably my 12,658 time starting over on a weight loss plan, but nevertheless, here I go again. I signed up for the discoveryhealth weight loss challenge and look forward to going to Bally's for free on my 8-week pass. This is a great opportunity. I will also go to the weight loss doctor so that I have this time documented in case I am not able to be successful and will proceed with the wls. I will try my best to journal daily what I am eating and doing as far as exercising to document what works and does not work.

Yesterday I had my appointment with my PCP and unfortunately, he does not seem willing at this time to support my wls. His suggestion for me was to join weight watchers and start exercising. So, I was a little disappointed, but then I thought about it and realized that I probably have to have more medically supervised weight loss documented evidence regardless. What's more he told me to check back in with him in 6 weeks to see how things were going. So I will have to commit to doing at least 1/2 hour of exercise to get my metabolism up and going. I am also going to call this weight loss doctor who's billboard I saw when leaving the PCP's office. Whatever the case, however I do it, I need to lose weight. What's more I learned that I am 5'3" and not 5'4" which adds to my BMI going higher. I really want to lose this weight once and for all so I can stop being so miserable in my body.

My doctor's office seems like they are just not friendly or helpful. Today, I decided to call the woman out who had been working with me. I told her that I was a little disappointed because I thought they would be a little more helpful in telling me what I need to submit. She apologized and gave an excuse for not being able to assist me, saying that she was tied up and busy with end of year stuff. I told her what I had been researching what all is involved and that I really needed some feedback as to how to proceed. I think she was taken a back, and wants to be helpful, because she also replied that she is planning on calling me and helping. Whatever the case, I had to do some thinking about how I chose this doctor and if I need to do more research to find a new doctor. I will work on getting my stuff together (getting letters from all those you mentioned and put in a nice packet, then make a copy to keep for myself and then mail the other to my Dr.'s office. Then we will see how they respond. His secretary Jackie did mention something about we want to make sure you do all your research. So this will show her that I have done it and then some. I am waiting for my nutrition doctor to fax me my files. I have an appointment with my PCP next week, so I need to finalize his letter asking for his support and recommendation. I also spoke with my future doctor for a psych eval/nutrition counseling I hope to schedule an appointment asap so that I will have my paperwork ready to go within one month. I think what I need to work on is a cardiology appointment, sleep apnea appointment, and neurology appoint, there may be some others but that is all I can think of right now. More to come....

Well, now I am at the appeals stage of the process. I got word today from the wls Doctor's office that they spoke with my insurance people and that the wls is not covered under my policy. So, then I called them myself and they said the same thing. Before I hung up, I asked them about an appeals and he told me that I do have the right to appeal and they gave me the address to mail my appeals packet. Somewhere in Utah. So now it is on to the next phase. United Healthcare Insurance has 15 days to respond after they receive my letter. Then I will either be approved or have to write a 2nd appeals letter. Then if they still refuse, I can write to the state of Georgia Health Benefits Office whose policy I fall under or I can hire a lawyer to handle my case. I pray it does not come to that. The woman who I spoke with at my Doctor's office was not very helpful. I think she must be new, so, tomorrow I am going to call and ask for someone else who can be more helpful. I will begin reviewing my appeals letter, call my PCP to let him know my letter for his support is on the way along with a letter for him to use when preparing his letter on my behalf. I will also work on making copies of medical reports from my former PCP doctor in South Florida (I moved to ATL last year). I will also get copies of my records from when I was seeing a nutritionist for over a year and was still unsuccessful. I will also call Jenny Craig and LA Weight Loss to get copies of my visits and progress. I think I will also work on getting other letters and information to help provide a well organized packet on my struggle to lose weight all my life. Stay tuned.....

Yesterday was a day filled with hope and "happyness". Throughout the day I believe I was on a God-led journey. It was a symbolic day. I found five pennies each with significant dates. They were 1981, 1989, 2001, 2006, and 2006. Now I can't boast that I know the meaning of all these dates, but I can say for now they are five pennies, and five is God's number of grace. The year 1981 I turned 10 and ten is a number of completion. 1989 is the year that I completed high school. 2001 is the year that I started the Ph.D. program and 2006 well there were two of these, when I looked them up 2 stands for division (my stomach will be divided), 6 is the number of man and 2006 is this year. The site for the number is: http://www.carm.org/questions/numbers.htm. Now if I had to take a quick guess from that information of what God is once again saying to me is simple: He has given me grace to go ahead with this procedure. The doctor's visit went well. There was nothing located as a source of my pain in my lower abdominal area except to say that my uterus is positioned to the left. So, I believe that there is no reason for me not to go through with this procedure should I be approved or have the money to pay for the process in Mexico, but I hope and pray I can do it right here and that my insurance pays for it. I am so tired of breathing hard after just bending over to tie my shoes or climbing a flight of stairs. I am tired of being worried whether or not I will be able to fit into an airplane seat, this summer during my trip to Africa my thighs were hurting so bad from being squeezed together in the coach seats on Martinair and even when I paid to upgrade my seats on the flight back it was still a close fit. Even last night at Johnny Rocket's where my nephew and I ate before we saw the movie Pursuit of Happyness, the booth the hostess sat us in was a tight fit. My stomach and breast had about a one inch space between me and the table. Needless to say it was difficult for me to get in and get out but I would rather squeeze in than embarass myself that my fat self can't fit. That would have been humiliating. During my trip to Africa we went on a Safari and we had to treck down a very rocky path on foot to get to the crocodile infested watering hole for the elephants. On the way back up from the valley, I thought I my heart was going to explode out of my chest. The incline was so difficult for me. I joked with the guide that it was so hard because I was carrying the weight of an entire adult human being. I was breathing so hard and sweating out of my body. I am glad I made it back alive, and pray one day if I ever have an opportunity to do something like that again I can do it minus the extra 120 pounds on my body. I was a little disappointed because I had to choose not to do the treck again the next morning, when the elephants would be in the watering hole taking their morning bath, because I was afraid I would not be able to make it up the mountain. One final note, I got a call from my wls doctor's office. They have received my packet and are reviewing my health benefits. Now I pray that there is no problem or not much that needs to be done to get the approval for the wls. I know my UHC state benefits plan policy reads that it does not cover the procedure, but I hope that they are at least willing to do the appeals process and will approve it after that. I have been trying for too long and I need this procedure to help me curb my monster size appetite. I need help. Please pray for me as I pray for those that have been approved and are having their surgery or going through the recovery process. I pray that everyone is healed from the illness of obesity and that they do not overeat or face temptations that may cause a set back. In the Name of our Most High, Jesus, our Creator, the precious Lamb of God whom we celebrate his birth this time of year Amen, Amen, and Amen.