Maria P.

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Well tomorrow I go see the general surgeon to review the results of the CT scan of my lower abdominal area and pelvic region. Once I get the all clear that nothing is wrong on going on down there I will be confident that the pains and funny feelings I have in that area are as a result of being overweight. That should give me more ammo for the need to have the wls. I can't wait to finally be on the losing side once and for all. I have already sent away for my Florida medical records and have scheduled an appointment with my new PCP. I also scheduled an appointment with the gyn. so that all of this will be out of the way. I also need to call Dr. Williams to make sure they received my packet in the mail and to see what else they need from me. Well stay tuned...

Well this morning I went to church to hear what thus saith the Lord about my going through with the process to get the lapband wls. We had a guest preacher, John Maxwell, the author of soooo many wonderful books. His message was about "Following the star but finding a stable". Then my pastor, at the end of the service made it plain by saying that sometimes we have to change our direction and do things differently. This was my confirmation that I needed to change how I was looking at losing weight because it has not been working. After service I went to the post office and mailed my packet of pre-certification information to Dr. Michael Williams office in Alpharetta. I even went so far as to add some medical receipt that shows the problems I have been having as a result of my weight. I am planning on calling my doctor's office in Florida to get my records to go along with the materials I mailed today. I have had so many health issues as a result of carrying around the bofy weight of another person. I could not even make it into the church building without breathing hard and having shortness of breath. I also have continuous pain in my legs and back. It is definitely time for me to take control of this before things progress to something worse. I will continue to read and learn more about what I will be facing once on the losing side for once in my life. I am excited and look at this as a gift for myself for the new year. I especially do not want to take cap and gown photos with this weight on. I will refuse to take photos if it comes down to it. In fact, I have been hiding behind others when I have had to take family photos. Sometimes when I am in public I feel that someone may mistake me for a pregnant woman because my stomach is so big, thus my reasons for hiding behind my nephews in many photos. Funny thing is that if I were pregnant I probably would not be hiding my belly weight. Unless of course I were still this large plus a baby in belly. Anyway, please pray for me that I get approval from my insurance company, I really cannot continue going on living this way and something needs to be done. The lapband seems to be the best solution to help me get my overeating under control. Peace and blessings to all.

Well, here I am once again ready to figure out how I can get down to a healthy weight. I have tried everything the Cabbage Soup Diet, Atkins, Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, the 3-day diet, and my own personal methods - starvation and exercise daily until I hurt myself and my feet. I am so havy that I am often breathless from just walking a flight of stairs or just walking in general. I get embarassed because when I talk to friends on the phone they ask me why am I breathing so heavily, but I can't say it's because I am carrying around another whole other persons' body weight-that's too embarassing. Then I have my family who are somewhat supportive but don't really understand what all I have gone through and the difficulties I experience when it comes to food. I have been hurt by some so-called friends, family and others. I try my best not to let anyone know that it hurts, and I usually end up crying or eating away the pain. I keep hearing the words of my dearly departed grandmother- who in her later years in life continuously told me "Alright, you keep eating and the men ain't gone want you." I poor my soul out in this entry to express the pain that I have been repressing for years. On top of the emotional eating, I realize that I may have some medical conditions that contribute to my overall health issues. I am allergic to wheat, soy, milk, and pork. Additionally, sugar depresses me, but sometimes I go on binges and eat it. I have been doing a bit better with this since I switched to agave (a natural nectar from a cactus). I have also switched to rice bread and rice milk, but I am not so sure about the health benefits of me eating them. My most recent weight loss program was with LA weight loss and I did fairly well, losing about 14 pounds within 2 months, but I have slacked off the program when I had live in guests for the last 2 months. Needless to say, I gained all of that weight back plus a pound. I contribute that to emotional eating because of the stress brought on from having a family of six plus a crazy dog come in and basically take-over my house. I will never host anyone for more than 3 days. Lesson learned. So anyway, I am here today trying to figure out if the lap band surgery is the right thing for me to lose this weight once and for all. I am going to an Endocrinologist to have my thyroid and metabolism checked out and I will consult my doctor to get more support. If anyone has any thoughts on how to make this decision I would love to hear from you.