Dollface-1981
March 28/12 - Struggling
Mar 28, 2012
I haven't blogged in a few weeks. Mostly because I have been away from the computer but also because I wasn't sure how to write about this.
On March 9th my brother-in-law Brady was in a horrific train accident. My husband and I spent a week in London with his parents and brother while Brady was in a coma. On March 15th, Brady was taken off life support and passed away.
It was one of the most devastating and trying weeks of our lives. It was so hard to watch my husband and his family go through this.. My heart still breaks for them, especially my mother-in-law. I know first hand what it is like to lose a child... Even though it was different ... I know that hurt. I wish there was something I could do or say to take their pain away or at least make it less.. But I know there are no words.
My sister Kristy and my brother-in-law Brian were such an amazing help while we were in London. They opened their home to us, had many late night talks with us and sat with us while we cried. My nephew Jackson was the best medicine for our sadness and repeatedly cheered us up. I am so thankful to have such a loving family.
I just want to say that Mile and his family are one of the strongest families I know. Even though making some unbelievably hard decisions, and being there with Brady while they took him off life support... They were strong. Through the process of planning a funeral and saying goodbye... They were so strong. I have so much love and respect for them and I am so thankful they allowed me to be there with them through this no matter how hard it was.
I also wanted to say thank you for the crazy amount of love and support that was given to the family and myself over the past few weeks. It was truly overwhelming and so appreciated!
CHEERS BRADY
I struggled the past few weeks with my eating. I found it hard to get all of my protein in (hospital food) but more than that... I found myself wanting my comfort food.
My husband may get mad for giving this analogy but when he is stressed or in a situation like that he tends to drink to help relax him. I am not much of a drinker. Though I never considered myself an emotional eater.. I did tend to gravitate towards certain foods in stressful situations but since having gastric bypass I no longer have the ability to comfort myself through food. I did try a few times to be honest.. One day I had a bowl of soup and I forced down a whole tea biscuit... Which did not end well...
There were a few times that I ended up making myself sick over the wrong choices. I was hard for me mentally to deal with what was happening so I tried to focus on my husband and family and tried to make sure they were eating and doing alright. In the future I am defiantly going to have to find a better way of coping!!!
I was away from the gym again for almost two weeks, and I'm finding it harder and harder to get back into the routine every time I get out of it.. And that was what I was afraid of when I started!
Even though I am still losing, it has slowed down so much and I am fighting with these last 3 pound to push me under 200. I've gone back to making my lunches and trying really hard to get my vitamins and protein in... Heading to the gym today after work so I'm hoping to break this stall ASAP!
I went to the dentist last week, and I had a bit of a breakdown in the office. It turns out that I have extreme bone loss in my teeth due to gastric bypass. It was explained to me that I am like a patient with Lupus. My body is low on nutrients, it is trying to take them from where ever it can.. Including my teeth.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood work etc, and another dentist appointment on Friday for more X-rays and lord know what else. I'm very nervous to say the least.
It's been a long road... And continues to be. I am ecstatic about losing so much weight... But there sure is a lot more that goes along with it.
