week 14 (or Month 3.5) update

Dec 10, 2011

Hello all!  I have been really excited to hear the few words of encouragement i have from those who have left them for me.  I just wanted to let all of you know I am doing great.   My emotions have leveled back out and the weight is continuing to drop off a little at a time.  I am down from 274 to 218.  56 pounds, and now people are finally starting to notice.  I have heard everything from asking if I have been feeling OK (just one, and a child at that) to" wow, you really see it in your face", which I guess means I had a fat face.  It is really nice for people to see it though instead of people just seeing that I have had surgery but I am still fat.

My hair is finally starting to fall out, and I must admit with my busy schedule I have laxed a little on the protein shakes.  I'm just soooo bored of them and finding out I had to add two scoops of powder to one shake made them way less enjoyable.  Some of my tops fit funny over my shoulders and some of my pants in bigger sizes look a little weird around the legs.  My tummy is still large enough that I fit OK into size 20s, but 18s seem to look a little better every where else.  I think I could get away with XL tops when 3x would barely fit me before.  (The bigger the better.)  My skin is sort of saggy and I have tons of cellulite on my backside.  It is time for exercise, but I still haven't found the time.  I am working 10 hour shifts with an hour and a half commute each way.  There is room, but man I am stretched pretty thin.

Eating has been pretty great, I have been able to eat pretty much whatever I have chosen to.  I stop when I feel like I have had enough, which seem like a lot of food, but I guess that is relative.  I stay away from lots of stuff still.  No soda, no bread, no rice or pasta or sweets EXCEPT I did have some no sugar added ice cream which was lovely.  I just treat it like I am diabetic and it will make me feel horrible, and then it is not so bad.  I have been baking like I normally would, and cooking like I normally would this time of year, but it seems to be all about choices, and I am astounded at how many bad choices I would be making if I gave in to my mindless urges.  I absolutely needed the immediate consequences surgery brings in order to make the healthy decisions I have made. 

My husband has finally stopped accusing me of cheating on him, and even admits he feels naughty in the bedroom ,like he is with someone else.

I find myself wondering what is really going to be possible size-wise once I am at the end of wherever this leads.  I wonder if I really could get down to a size 6 again and how that would feel.  I find myself feeling fine with weighing in around 155 if that is where I end up, maybe even 20 pounds more because the extra weight off feels so much better.  I carried two gallons of milk down the stairs the other day and my knees hurt, and I was like, "Wow, I have lost twice this much in weight, at least."  I don't regret it at all, not one little bit.

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