6 Month Stall...o__O

Feb 28, 2012

I knew it could happen, but I wasn't prepared for it I suppose.  I lost 6 pounds early in the month, mostly due to the flu I think, and finally got under 200 pounds, and now for three weeks, I actualy gained 2 pounds (probably partially due to menstrual issues), so I am stuck.  I am trying not to freak out and worry that it is all coming back.  I can eat more than before and I could certinly curb things like OJ and cheese which aren't doing me any favors calorie wise, but the underlying fear is that I am screwed. 

The logical part of my brain says, make a few smart adjustments in food and exercise, give your body a second to breathe after dropping so much weight, and it will drop again.  I'm fighting to pay attention to that part, because that is the advice I woud give someone else.  I still have food problems to work out, like my husband trying to get me to eat dinner with the family when I should have eaten (and probably did) several hours earlier, and wanting to eat on breaks because it relaxes me.  I do have more room than before and can now finish a whole salad, but still get full quickly on regular food.  I don't exercise because I barely have time for sleep with my 10 hour days and 3 hour commute (plus a forced hour of lunch).  There are lots of things I can do to help myself, I think it has just taken the last three weeks to realize that I am going to have to try a little harder, my tool is only as good as how I use it.  I have plenty of excuses, but I need more focus on what I am trying to accomplish.

On the plus side I finally went shopping for size 16 jeans and xl tops.  the jeans are tight around my middle and fit on the backside and legs, but they look nice.  Tight is good because it reminds me to stay focused, and truthfully, unless I get surgery I will always be thicker with my flabby pannis taking up room there.  I think I look "normal" in a mom sort of way, and sometimes kind of attractive.  With surgery I could actually completely live with my weight as is.  It is my stomach that bpthers me most, flabby arms second, flabby thighs third.  I have always been thick in the thighs and arms. 

Would it be so bad if this was all I could lose?  I'm pretty comfortable in life, I am so much healthier, and I can pass for a thick version of normal.  I still want to lose another 50 pounds.  I want surgery to remove my "front butt".  I do want to tone and exercise.  I want to master my food problems so I can stay healthy.  So, stall or not, the answer is start some exercise and tweak the nutrition, ride it out, that is all you can do.

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