fooseberry

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Today is 10 years. I am not on this website anymore but wanted to check-in. I remember how it was a lifeline of information in the beginning. Happily I have been able to figure out what works for my body, exercise is a natural and neccessary part of my life now and eating whole non-proceeded foods is huge. 

My advice-

1. Always take your vitamins. I know it is a ton and expensive but it is not optional.
2. Try to think past the scale. I wasted many years looking at the scale and not my health. 
3. Work on the brain. It is just if not more important than what you put in your mouth.

Good Luck to all of you on this journey. I hope that you find the magic recipe of what works for you as well. 

It has been 6 years in February since I had my surgery. My life has changed dramatically. I just started to read my last post and laughed.

I have climbed a mountain in the last 3 years since my husband left and I still did not believe in myself. I am currently fixing that. 

My weight is up and I past the magic I will never be above 200 again point so it is time to grab those reigns and stop this shit from getting out of control again. You can only have surgery once and they frown upon wiring my jaw shut because I nee to talk to work. 

I am happy where I am today. I do not regret ever having this surgery and I hope I can continue to live a healthy life.

I am almost 3 and a half years out from my surgery.
My life has changed dramatically. My husband and I are going through a divorce. I am staying in our house with our 2 children and he has already moved on to another woman. ( It has only been 3 months since he moved out)
I have been forced to feel and do things I have never felt in my life.
Some of them have been good although painful. One of the biggest things I am learning about myself is that I have a lot of people that love and care about me. Most importantly I am learning that they did so before I got thinner. I did not realize how my self hate preventing me from seeing other people in my life and possibly molded my path to marrying a man that didn't really ever want to put me on the top of his list. I guess if I didn't think I deserved to be loved and cared for why would he have done that. I am seeing missed opportunities that are all my fault-if only I had thought I was worthy of a persons love.
I am also gaining some confidence in myself and after 3 years I am finally able to look at myself in the mirror and think I look beautiful- well after I comb down my crazy hair and put on some eye make up-
I have good and bad days. It is hard to see my husband move on and not look over his shoulder. I am firm in my feelings that I will never go back to him but I am still mourning the loss of my family unit and the fear that I am the person in charge now. My support people keep reminding me that he was so unsupportive I have been doing it alone foe quite some time if I really look at it.
We are working hard to make it the best we can for the girls. We speak frequesntly as we still need to share childcare working opposite shifts. We have also had both of the girls birthday parties since he left. My youngest was only 2 weeks after he left. This was extremely hard but for the girls it was the best thing we could do.
I am constantly told by friends that I can do this, I am strong and I will come out better on the other side. (One divorced friend even assures me that I will be sending my ex a Thank You card in 1 year when I see how much better my life is-I hope)
So here is the update.
Oh, and there is nothing like the "Divorce/Stress" diet to help take off about 10 lbs. I am almost to goal with the help of a lot of Click and not a lot of sleep.

I bought this book the other day and I am hoping it will help me move into a more Eggface friendly way of eating.
I still crave sweets after a week of no sugar so I am looking for some help making this last for the long haul. I have not had an opportunity to screw up yet so I see many hurdles coming up.
I have a party/BBQ this weekend so I plan on making fun party food and something safe for me.
I will let you know how the book progresses.

I am trying my 1st day on a new diet plan given to me by my nut about 2 months ago. I am starving. I know not really but the detox is killing me. I have taken in about 1500 calories and 130g protein so I should be fine. I have not had a cracker, candy, cookie all day.
I feel like a crazy person. I am concerned about going home - I am at work now-and eating something I shouldn't. I think I am going to have to eat a bit more to get me over the carb hump then work on lowering the calories.
It is all in my head
It is all in my head
It is all in my head
I am glad to be working alone right now or I think I would snap on someone.

I was all running off at the mouth about running then I fell off the wagon. I decided at the last minute to run the Falmouth Road Race which is a great 7 mile race. I am glad that the weather was mild or I would have died. I felt more let down than proud of myself at the end as I wished I was in better shape and able to finish in a better time instead of worse.
I am generally feeling better. I am wearing a shirt today that fits and looks good but I can't believe I am wearing it and I keep thinking people are staring at me-not in a good way. I feel tire about feeling this way but I am not sure how to get over myself.
I am planning a weekend away with only some girlfriends and I am still not able to totally feel OK about it. I think I should save my little vacation time to spend with my kids and family although we have no plans or real money to do anything. I say I want to be in better shape but I feel like I have 10,000 things I need to do and spennding time running or going to the gym is time that I can be better spent.
How do people plan time for things they want to do and stick to it?? I have turned Walmart trips and completeing the laundry as things I enjoy. 
No manicures, No dinners out, No weekend trips.....How do I get back to this? 

A few co-workers and I are running in a 5K this Saturday. It is supposed to rain but I am still headed out. I am hunting for a windbreaker that is rain and run friendly and free. I may have given mine away after it got to be too many sizes too big.
I will be sure to gush or bitch on Saturday after the official results are in.

I have been trying to work on a plan that will take me to the Falmouth Road Race in August. It is far away but last year I was gung-ho and then it dropped off so when I actually had to run it I was quite panicky. I have some 5k's planned. My 1st official one is May 2nd but I am throwing around the idea of trying one in Rhode Island on April 26th.
I am running 2 miles 3 times a week right now. I bumped it up to 2.5 miles today as my long run on Sunday. I plan on going back to the 2 mile route for Tuesday and Thursday and back to 2.5 on Sunday. Next week I may bump them all up to 2.5 if it feels right.
I have posted some 5k's on my blog to keep myself on track thru the Summer until the big one on August 9th. I am hoping to run a few of the same races as last year so I can compare my times. Each race is different therefore I can only compare each to itself.
I want to do better. I want to run faster but I am holding back and am just working on getting the distance. If I can work up to the 5k (3.1mile) distance regularly then I will work on the speed. I am also trying to add some cross training on off days as I am reading this is a great way to add speed and work the heart while the running muscles rest.
I have big plans but staying with them over the long haul is not my strong point so if you see me lag- Call me on the carpet!
If I get angry and defensive you know I am losing my way-Smack Me!

I got back on the Couch to 5K program and grew bored of watching the time intervales so I just started running. For the last 2 runs I have just ran a 2 mile circuit. I am not focusing on time right now just survival.
I have also joined Ediets again and am following the Glycemic Impact diet to keep the sugars stable and I have lost 1.5 lbs this week.
I feel good and am getting ready for my 1st 5K race of the season on May 5th.

Well it was yesterday but now I have a minute to stop by my own blog and post.
I am happy with where I am. I am actually just tired of the idea of dieting and trying to lose the extra 15 lbs so I am kind of giving up and trying to just live. I need to learn to be happy with where I am. Healing your brain from the negative feelings about yourself is a huge part of this process that I don't think you expect. I thought"when I am thin" a lot of issues would resolve themselves and I am finding that is not true.
I can do so many things that I could not do before. I was a super active person when heavy but a lot of things I just slowly started to eliminate. Now that they are not difficult to do as a thinner person I am becoming more aware of the things I left behind. I am not ashamed to go places because of my weight and what people will think of me. I am not worried about what kind of Mother I am being to my children because I look like I don't take care of myself.
It is a life long journey and I am obviously just at the beginning.