Jennyfromtheblock13

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

May 04, 2010

Apr 26, 2010

Sorry this is sort of off topic but I just wanted to be sad for a bit and thought someone might understand.  Yesterday I found out that I was losing my job for sure as of July 31.  Long story short, back in January I got a new job (and nice pay raise) within the same organization as a career counsellor.  The program is government funded and the government has been re-organizing the way they deliver service.  So 1 1/2 weeks after I started they told us that our current contracts would be ending on July 31.  Then we would have to interview for a new position under the new contract.  Here is the problem the job description is changing and therefore we may not be qualified for the new duties we would have to perform.  Well I interviewed and apparantly did not do so well, and they feel that I am not completely qualified for the new position.  So I am losing my job.  I have been with the YMCA for over 5 years in a different role so I am hoping that I can continue to do something with the organization in a full time capacity, but I am sure it will mean a serious pay cut.  My hubby and I were just getting on track financially, even opeing an RESP for my sons education fund, and I was super happy and confident with my surgery and weight loss and really believed that when I got this job in January that I was on top of the world and that 2010 was going to be the best year yet.  Now all of that has come crashing down on me and I just feel worthless.  I want to continue to do my job everyday until we are done, but the hard fact is, my co-workers in my current office were successful and will continue to work in their jobs so it kind of sucks.  They are super awesome people and have been really sensitive to me but it is still hard for me. 

The really hard part has been normally I would have eaten these feelings away and I cannot do that anymore.  Last night I had a spoonful of peanut butter as my comfort.  I really don't want to eat my feelings anymore, but it is finding that place in myself that can deal with this without eating is hard.  I think I might have to start working out hardcore now.  Hopefully that will help.  Up to this point I have just been walking and stretching and running after my son at the park.  Time for the gym.

Anyway, thanks for listening/reading this.  Its nice to be able to vent to people who get the emotions of eating and stuff.

Apr 19, 2010

Ok so I haven't posted in like a month and definitely wanted to post this WOW  moment for me.  So last Monday morning I got on the good ole scale and weighed myself and low and behold I had lost a grand total of 50lbs.  Yup that's right 50lbs gone forever.  So that makes me 250lbs.  I am weighing less now then when I conceived my son.  I was pretty proud of this moment.  I am now as of today down 53lbs so I sitting in the 240's and very excited about that too.  It was super nice to start to go through my closet and find clothes that I haven't worn in over 2 or 3 years and try them on and they fit.  Bye Bye, maternity jeans!  YAY!  I have even had to make a pile in my closet of clothes that are just too big and cannot wear anymore.  Super exciting in my books.  I definitely look forward to posting more of these WOWs in the future.......

Ta Ta for now!

Mar 24, 2010

Hi Everyone,

Just would like people to post some of their favorite after surgery friendly recipes for people that will visit here.  I know it is always hard to find some good food that we can eat and enjoy! 



Thanks,
Jen

Mar 16, 2010

I am having a mini WOW moment for me.  I have less than 100lbs till my goal.  I am very excited to say I am not longer 100lbs overweight....  YAY ME!!!

Mar 12, 2010

So for a while I thought that I would not want to eat ever again and that I was never going to be able to get food in.  When I was in the hospital and for about 2 weeks after I had no desire to eat and could not even get much in me.  I was never hungry, in fact I felt very full all of the time.  But about 4 days ago I actually started to feel the sensation of hunger and definitly had the capacity to eat more.  And suddenly food did appeal to me again   It is kind of an odd feeling really cause it seemed all of a sudden I woke up one day and things felt more normal.  I think what might have happened is that the swelling in my stomach has finally disappeared and that I am actually feeling my true stomach size now.  I have been able to eat cream of wheat cereal, strained cream soups, sf pudding, yogurt and of course I am still trying to get the Carnation Instant Breakfasts in, but I am starting to get tired of them.  I am pretty good at getting in my daily pre-natal vitamin, and 2 calcium/vit D chewables.  I was able to stop crushing the vitamin and start just cutting it up and it is so much better cause crushing the pill just tasted soooooo bad .   I think I might have to go out and get some protein powder and add it to my meals.  I feel like at this point that I am not getting enough protein in me.  The good people on the OH website have given me some great tips on which ones are good, don't have any taste, even ones that taste good.  So I know I will find something out there for me.  I look forward to next week when I can have my food pureed next week. 

Until next time! 

Feb 26, 2010

Feb 22, 2010

Just wanted to post and tell everyone that I so appreciated everyone's support right now and while I was in the hospital.  To come home and read all my nice  comments and posts was so special.  I am feeling better each day.  The pain gets less and less.  I still have some trouble getting comfortable when I sleep as I am normally a side/belly sleeper which just is not possible right now.  I got a really bad knot in the back of my neck while in the hospital which has caused me most of my pain, and I have some pretty severe arthritis in my neck, shoulders and lower back which was tough for me cause when you are laying in bed in one position for a while it tends to get really stiff and sore.  But the walking helped me alot, along with the good pain meds they give you.  LOL....

I finally managed to start moving the gas on Friday night and into Saturday....my stomach was rumbling so much....TMI - my stools were so loose and I was afraid that now that they started to move they weren't going to stop, but by Sunday they were back to being much better.....

My surgeon had a bit of a hard time getting through my abdominal wall as I guess it was very thick and that is where most of my fat was (I have a much heavier upper belly than lower) so he had to push really hard to get the instruments in, lots of bruising, but he said once he was in then he didn't see much fat around my organs or deep into my body, which is a good thing.....much healthier to not have a lot of fat around your organs.......I also had a hiatal hernia that they had to repair in order to proceed with the surgery as well.  They had considered taking my gall bladder at the same time, as I was having some trouble over the last couple of years, but at the last minute before surgery we agreed that it would put significant more risk for infection during the surgery and if I wasn't having frequent attacks now then it would be safer to wait.....

So surgery went well, he made my pouch slightly smaller than normal so I have had some trouble getting in all that the diet says I should.....I sip, sip, sip but it is really hard.  This fact almost kept me in the hospital an extra day, but by Saturday I was doing better.  As the swelling goes down and I get used to everything it seems to be a bit better.  Giving myself the blood thiner needle has been ok too...I don't really feel the needle and it is not as a bad as I thought it would be.  I practiced in the hospital before I left and it was easy......

Anyway, again thanks for the support and love and I look forward to having all my questions answered as they arise on this wild ride.......
                                           

Feb 11, 2010

Well Wednesday, February 10, 2010 I went to St. Joe's to have my pre-op stuff done.  This also happens to be my baby boy's 2nd birthday.  Wow I cannot believe that he is already 2 years old and I cannot believe that it is one week until my surgery.  I was there for about 3 hours doing everything, but mostly just waiting.....they were very busy that day.  So when I got weighed there, they have one of those step on floor scales with the dial (not the best for accuracy but I'm thinking well its the hospital, it can't be that bad right?)  Wrong.....I get on and she says 266lbs....I was like are you sure, cause that means I lost 30lbs in 9 days on Optifast....I don't think that is right.....my pants would be falling off if that was the case......So when I was done everything I went up to the Bariatric Clinic and got weighed on the digital scale and well it said 290lbs....so I really lost 6lbs....6lbs is more like it....I have felt like I lost some weight, but definitly not 30lbs.  I wish.....

Anyway, I am getting ready for surgery next Wednesday and putting the finishing touches on my son's birthday party for Saturday.....Its gonna be rough, lots of good food and cake but I am strong and can resist.....It is my future and I am determined to use the tool that is going to be given to me next week and go all the way......

Gonna watch the OIympic Opening Ceremonies tonight.....

                               !!! GO CANADA !!!!

Till we blog again....
Jen

Jan 31, 2010

So yesterday I said GOOD-BYE to food as I knew and hello to a whole new world.  Today I started my Optifast diet and had my first shake at work this morning.  I bought one of those Magic Bullets to mix them.  I heard people say the colder the better and some even said they mixed them with ice.  So that is what I did.  It wasn't too bad.  I had my last meal yesterday.  My hubby, my son, my best friend and I went for dinner at the Mandarin.  It was good.  I feel like I am in mourning a bit over food.  It was such a big part of my life and now things have changed.  It will be a challenge but one I know I can handle and get through to the other side a very happy and healthier women.  I am just hoping that because I have so many things to get done before surgery that it will go by and I won't have time to think about what I have lost only what I will be gaining.  I weighed myself before going for dinner yesterday and the scale said 296lbs, and that is exactly what the scale said when I had my first appointment back in October 2009.  So so far I have not gained or lost anyway weight.  So we will see what the next 2 weeks brings me when I am on the Optifast diet. 

Till next time.

  (this is my breaking heart over the loss of my food)