just4Dee
Surgery 2/12/15
Feb 02, 2015
Well this is my first day on the site and I thought I would start with blogging.
I am in day 5 of my pre op diet and so far so good. It is tough, but I am doing it
I was going to start writing a journal, but that just isn't me. This way I would have a better chance to keep up with it. So I guess I will just get everything to date today... (or until my fingers don't want to type any longer lol)
I have always had an issue with my weight... I started gaining weight in 4th grade and it continued. By 6th grade a doc told my mom to let me drink as much diet soda as I wanted. If I was hungry, drink diet soda....
Then when I was in 11th grade I did medifast and it helped a little but I was on liquids. That wasn't something I could maintain.
Then as becoming an adult you name it I tried it..... In 1996 I did deal a meal and lost about 30 pounds and that brought me to pax 195. The following year I met my husband and as life progresses and we tried to have a family weight came back on... Then we were doing fertility treatments and that just made me balloon right up. I think my highest weight was 277 and I'm only 5'2"... During the fertility process I found out I have PCOS and a few surgeries later we stopped trying.
And mixed in with the fertility I found out in 2003 I have diabetes. It runs in my family and the extra weight gain didn't help. So onto the medications.... I would have it under control nd then I wouldn't and in 2010 I lost 50 pounds and I have kept most of the weight off. I did put some on and take it off over the last few years, but still my sugar wasn't really controlled. I just kept getting more meds and bloodworm.
It is so frustrating when you try so hard and have been going to the gym for years and nothing seems to help. You feel like its your fault and I think part if it is my own mess ups, but there are a few road blocks that just are making this journey impossible.
I was at my doc in August and we were talking about what I am doing and again another medicine came up and insulin. Then he asked me if I ever thought about barbaric surgery and told me how it could help with diabetes and PCOS. I have heard about the procedure a few years ago but I really thought I could fix this... So he gave me a brochure and told me to do some research and that is is exactly what I did. I went to a seminar and have been doing tons of research and I began the process. At first things were moving along fine. I called my insurance company and they said it was covered so I started with all of my meetings etc.. Then I got a phone call that I actually was not covered. Talk about devastating.
Since it was almost a new year I thought about looking into my companies insurance and by the good grace of god it was covered. I made my follow up apt with the surgeon and I didn't know what was going to happen at this meeting but a tentative surgery date was scheduled. I had all my paperwork done and all my meetings were completed so the process went fast. As soon as I walked out the office I balled my eyes out... Why??? Well because every emotion I had came out; fear, guilt, regret, excitement and so on...
Then about a week and half later I got the call the insurance company approved the surgery.... Above emotions came out again :) then it was time I needed to tell work I need the time off... The thing about my work is nothing is personal. No one not even the managers can keep a secret. And so I decided to just tell them it was personal and let them think what they want, which will be girlie issues since that has been a struggle for me. Actually only 5 people know I am having the procedure. This is something I am choosing to keep to myself. I don't handle judgement t from others well and I know people are going to think I am doing this for weight loss. That is a great bonus, but I just need to get off my 8 of my prescriptions plus supplements I take to try and help the meds.
I did tell two of my close friends and they were so supportive it made me feel great and they keep checking on me. I would love to tell my group of friends I am with all the time but the one I know the longest would judge even though she wouldn't mean to. She knows some one who had the surgery and all she does is judge what she is doing and is jealous and I am afraid I would lose a friend over bettering myself so hush it is. They know I am dieting etc... So when the weight comes off it won't be a shocker. Idk this paragraph is hard to explain.
Ok so back to me and what's what with the procedure. When I had my apt with the surgeon I weighed 234.4 by the scale in his office and that was on 1/14/15, today I weighed in at 228.4 per my home scale. So I am losing and the weir mainly came off since starting the pre op diet.
The diet OMG it's easy and super hard. The sugar and carb withdrawal headaches are not fun. Last night I was mourning food, that is the best way I can explain it. I'm starting to miss chewing and other things go with food.
My husband has been very supportive through the whole process. He won't even eat in front of me, he goes into another room... Very sweet. Last night watching the Super Bowl was hard with the food commercials and we always have pizza. But we survived ;)
Well I think I covered everything and I am sure I have missed something but I think that's enough for tonight....
Stay healthy!