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Went to doc today had to have .25 of .5CC taken out, now I am .75 lower than I was from October through most of Jan yet lost a ton of weight, was freaking out thinking I needed an upper GI he is ok with ordering one but wanted to give me a partial unfill and give me time to think it over.  He says I am overthinking the process and that the band refills differently sometimes when fluid is taken out like it was before and put back in, and I should stop worrying.........I have an appt March 2 and I am going to wait and see about the upper GI then.  I feel just great now that he took out .25CC but I still worry even though I follow the rules and always get unfills......it can be stressful having the band, even when you are successful.

Oh, yesterday had an NSV, had to choose between size "Q" and "B" on pantyhose and you are always supposed to go with the larger size......but I decided I was only 5 lbs away and wore the size "B" and they were snug, but dagnabit, they fit!  I haven't worn that size since I was a kid, I swear!

My uncle died Friday and my cousin (40) on Sat leaving 4 kids. So I was devastated.  I go to the viewing last night for my cousin and I am in midstream of major grief and tears waiting in line when a cousin runs up and says I look fabulous and wow this is how you looked as a kid......blah blah blah.  I am caught off guard and overwhelmed.  And it didn't stop there.  It was like that with everyone we saw, every single person........it was totally bizzarre.  Anyway, I was so uncomfortable (normally, these days, loving attention) but it felt inappropriate, and I just wanted to cover up and disappear.  I wore a simple plain size 10 black dress, admittedly that was nice.......but still. 

We left and my husband said "well you were the star of that wake" and I said "EWWW that is so creepy."

Sometimes, it isn't the right time, even though I know that some part of me would have been hurt if they hadn't acknowledged it.  My Grandma, the only one who saw me this summer, was really blown away, because she knew how quickly I lost it.  And I had to talk about the band when asked because my Dad had spilled the beans back in August to my Aunt Jeannette.  Totally not where I wanted to do that. 

Got .5CC put back in yesterday, able to eat solids just 24 hours later......definitely not at good restriction yet but not as hungry as yesterday.  Will wait and see if I still want to get another partial refill next Weds, I have an appointment.  I am still rolling on my January copay since I had to have an emergency unfill last week, so this could go on week after week as long as I go back within 7 days which is great.

I have to chew a lot but I can eat bigger bites, so either the fill hasn't settled or I will definitely get more next week......but I don't mind, it's all part of the process.  I just will not ever eat ravioli again.  In fact, I am pretty scared of pasta altogether!

OK now I thought tales of food getting stuck, truly stuck as in staying inbetween the stoma and stomach were more urban legend than reality.  I mean, food can't really get stuck - can it?

Preface to story - last fill that wasn't unfilled was OCTOBER.  This is a long story and the reason for my absence from the board...but a lesson.

Now I am a good bandster who had just reached 100 lbs lost and who certainly knew and followed all the chewing rules.  I decided to have a ravioli in a cheese sauce for dinner as a treat.  It was a premade, delicious tasting preparation, and made some healthy vegetables in a low fat cheese sauce to go with it.  All good.  The protein content of the ravioli was really good, and it was carb splurge but I was OK with that - I planned this meal before knowing I was going to reach 100 lbs lost.

So I chew really well, and swallow, all is well.  A few more bites, all is still well.  Suddenly at the end of ravioli #1, it doesn't feel quite "right."  So I take a break, rest, wait.  Bad feeling goes away.  I nibble a little veg, thinking, well, I am done with the ravioli, I think, I don't want to push my luck. My DH is salivating for my leftovers and eats them. 

Tuesday morning.  Driving, sipping coffee and water (my normal cocktail these days).  Have to pull over to spit up the coffee-I drank too fast and followed by water, or that's how I rationalized it.  Surprised, but started TOM so blame it on that.  Take it really easy with tea and warm water all day.  No foods, not even a protein shake, can feel how tight I am.  I didn't even PB last night, what is UP??   Broth for dinner and  made a warm chocolate CIB for an evening snack, sipping carefully, get it all down.

Wednesday morning.  Still on tea for breakfast and room temp water.  Concerned about still not feeling "right" or like I could even drink a shake.  Sipping and not getting a lot of fluids in, feeling dehydrated, worried that band will get even tighter.  Coworker is making cream chicken soup offers to share, of course I accept, that sounds good, and it's a full liquid.  You know where this story is going......cream chicken soup comes back, don't even get it halfway finished.    OK now I am terrified, I have thrown up liquid, this is my surgeon's WARNING will ROGER DANGER DANGER sign.......so I call the office for an unfill and examination..........I don't care why my band is tight but it HURTS and I want relief.  My surgeon is NOT IN>>>>>>>>>>>NOOOOO....I would have to go see the other doc....I ask if Dr. S is in, he just joined their practice from Good Sam in August, and yes, he is in the Englewood office, thank goodness, I can get there from work in like 15 minutes.........so I get there and I am throwing up in the waiting room bathroom and getting more and more scared.......I felt stomach acid come up OH NO that has never happened.........at this point it's less than 48 hours since the ravioli but I am thinking something rare and horrible has happened.......so Dr.  S says "did you eat anything you had trouble with before this happened."  I say "well yes on Monday eve, but I have been on warm or room temp liquids only since and now liquids are coming up.....and he says "what did you eat on Monday" I say " I tried ravioli for the first time" he says" OHHHH ravioli."  I say "that's not on the no no list" he says "it can be sticky.  I think you have a piece stuck."  I say "isn't that an urban legend - food can't actually get stuck for that long." he said "oh it can....."

He was a super gentle stick, maybe even better than Dr. T, and drew out all the fluid and I sat up (needle in) so I could drink water, and I drank, drank, drank, and drank.  I was so thirsty and so happy to drink cold water.  Then he started to push back in, put it all back in (hoping I could keep my fill) and OH the pain again, the water came up partway, he backed out .5 cc, drank, hurt going down, backed out more.....ended up with 1CC out of my band!  and no fill since October..........I was at my sweet spot....... 

So, trying new foods can be well, disastrous.  And throwing up liquids is certainly a sign that you need to go to your surgeon immediately, which I did, and I am so glad........I thought it was TOM and it was ravioli........  I did liquids all the way through Thursday, I finally ate food on Friday, and it was so good.  Now I have to go back to my regular surgeon on Thursday to get .5CC hopefully.......and then go see him again in two weeks or so to get back to my sweet spot. 

And yes, as of today, I am hungrier.  So I have to drink!

Today is a day of SVs...........I have lost 100 lbs since I started my weight loss journey last year.  29 lbs preop, 71 postop.

I weigh 174, which is less than I weighed when I graduated high school.  The last time I weighed this much I was a freshman at college losing weight (got up to 192). 

I can't believe I am already at 100 lbs, I wasn't expecting that and I am not dressed to take that picture today or anything.  I just cannot frickin believe that I am here........I am blown away.  I feel so thin today!

Oh and today was our work sponsored team weigh-out, so what a day to hit such a low!

Today was a big day for NSVs. My DH and I took my DD to High School Musical on Ice for her 8th birthday, and I felt energetic, great, happy, attractive......took her up into the bleachers in an old venue (with old school small hard seats) and could sit down with inches to spare on EACH side of me.  I was so happy I actually got tears in my eyes....I was overwhelmed by how emotional I felt about that NSV....it felt like I imagined it will feel when I fly again one day......I never never flown below 240 lbs......   I was able to squeeze through crowds to get to a bathroom with a shorter line, and back again without missing any of the show.  I didn't eat anything at the show and I was OK with that, I drank water, and walked past the food without even trying to smell it.....then we went out to eat and had pizza toppings and salad, it was delicious and guilt free.  Now I am drinking my water and I am so bloody happy to be here on OH posting about how much better my life is after the band.

Well, this has been a challenging year for the family.  My DH's school has failed to open, the sponsor's (charter school) board meeting on Dec 29 has not yet elicited an opening date.  Our financial future is more disastrous by the minute......but on the positive note, we discovered my son's food allergies this year before anything dire happened (at one year) and we have learned to cope with my requirements, my husband's tomato intolerance, and my son's milk, egg, soy, legume, and peanut allergies.  I have lost 90 lbs in 2007 and I am going to lose another 44 lbs this year to reach goal before my bandiversary.

I am thankful for all the good things and people in my life, not the least of which are my aunt and uncle, who have supported me here locally.  My father, who became homeless this year, is thankfully finally processing his SSDI paperwork and hopefully with my assistance he can make it to his two appointments and qualify.......certainly he worked many years and is VERY ill and has earned it.  My cousin Sarah had her first baby this year, which is very exciting, I remember when she was literally a baby........but we all grow up don't we?  I have been very successful with the band and must continue to do the things that got me this far......so I can make it to goal.

Valentine's Challenge - 169, 15 lbs, that's 2.5 lbs per week, which I never lose weekly, just in big buckets out of nowhere...but that's what I have to AVERAGE.  So I am going walk/jogging AGAIN for day 3, and starting my pushups, crunches, etc...again to get my total 1200 minutes this month.  

Well for the NSV my DH went shopping for new undies at Victoria's Secret.  He confirmed with them that a "6" which is what I told him to buy since my 8s are huge and I know I am growing out of my 14's, and underwear are supposed to be half of your pants....is actually a SMALL at Victoria's Secret and he bought them!  Now, I wore one pair and they didn't quite cover my derriere, but they pretty much fit my hips.......unfreaking believable!

OK for the SV, made it to 185, maybe lower.  Had to use home scale which weighs heavy, until I get back to work next Friday. 

Made it through Christmas without going bonkers.  Piece of chocolate here and there, olives here and there, but no gorging, no craziness.  Pretty much on target and still losing.  Best Christmas present ever!  I can't believe I am going to be wearing all 12s soon!  

Well, tomorrow is my Birthday and I will be 36.  I remember when I went to back to college at 30 to finally finish......and I finally did.  This is the first time I have accomplished anything else so huge........and there's no going back.  I can't believe it's only been 4.5 months and I have lost 58 lbs with the band, 29 before.  I have accomplished so much just since May when this journey started.

I am so grateful, yet I know I put in the work......but I wouldn't be where I am without the band, it makes eating less food sooooooooooooo much easier and effective.

Today is just to say that I am blessed as I celebrate my birth and Christmas.

So last week I represented the band at my second infosession as a work in progress.  This one went much better as there were bandsters to be there, rather than just DS and RNY.  They had a lot of questions for me....it was great.  People were really impressed with my post-op progress.

I have been feeling really thin this week, and I lost 4 lbs......so that certainly helps.  Just 1.8 lbs to my Xmas goal, I got down to 186.8 today......unfreakin'believable!  

I feel really prettier and like I am one of the regular people, but still fat in my head in some ways.  I did not eat at the cake table today again, I have resisted every single Birthday since I was banded.........They had the birthday lunch yesterday and it was lasagna, no other meat choice.  So I ate a little of the pasta but mainly picked off the meat and cheese.  I ate the seven layer salad and the green beans.  People commented from my weight loss team about how much I have lost, they are proud of me, it's really cool.  So nobody cared that I didn't finish my lunch or drink anything........all anyone is noticing these days is how I look.  My ego could get used to this............