Adjusting my goal, old photos and where I am now....

Apr 19, 2017

BLOG TIME! I like to check in now every so often and write about my past few months in my weight loss journey.  I definitely haven’t lost any weight in the last month but I haven’t completely “fallen off the wagon”.  I have been eating much more off plan these past few weeks but I am still exercising and weighing myself every single day.  I am up a few pounds but maintaining at my current weight (193 pounds) and I’m not allowing myself to hide from the scale. 

This week, I meal planned and I am getting back to eating the healthier things that make up my normal diet.  It’s amazing how easy it is to lose the habits that you have worked months and months on learning.  After just a few days of loosening the reins, it becomes so much easier to make that “bad” choice for lunch or from the vending machine even though for the last 6 months, I have been making all the “good” choices.  However, I refuse to hide from myself and just give in to the easy way of eating.  I am really enjoying how I feel, how I look, how strong I am and how much I can do at this weight.  I am not going to let those easy, bad habits overtake me.

Like I mentioned, I am still exercising and a few weekends ago, I did my second 8k race ever (Use extreme caution when viewing no-makeup, sweaty post-race selfie below  ). That’s about 5 miles and I did it in 57 minutes.  For me, that’s really good.  I am such a slow runner and I couldn’t run the whole thing but I completed it in under an hour and I ran a really huge chunk of it.  The first two miles I ran completely without stopping at about a 10 minute mile (6.0 mph) pace.  I want to do another in a few months and shave a few minutes off that time.  I would love to be able to do a 15k or even a half-marathon one day but baby steps!

Another thing I wanted to write about was that my friend shared a photo with me and a group of girls from 4 years ago and I was amazed.  Four years ago, I was about 3 months out from surgery and about 60 pounds down from my highest weight.  (See picuture below .) In this picture, I was still around 300 pounds and I looked HUGE. I couldn’t believe it.  I don’t want to be back there ever again.  When I look at myself from that time, all I can see is how uncomfortable I was and I know I didn’t want to be posing for any pictures. It makes me immediately want to stop and reevaluate myself and what I am doing.  I am allowing a lot of old habits to creep back in and eating stuff that I know is not the best for me.  That isn’t going to help me get to or keep me at where I want to be.  This is a constant thing I am going to have to do for the rest of my life. A constant readjusting and straightening of my course.  Some days will be easier than others but I will never be DONE.  I will never be able to take my eyes off the road.  It’s going to require focus and hard work most days but looking at that picture and seeing how much I’ve changed and thinking about how amazing I feel now…. it’s totally worth it.  It’s much easier in the moment to just use food to entertain myself or to numb a feeling but in the long run, it just causes me way more pain. Going to a wedding last month in a cute, form-fitting dress and feeling beautiful was 100% worth it!  I was able to dance with my friends and family all night and didn’t get winded at all.  I didn’t have to worry about fitting into the chairs at the wedding or the reception and didn’t feel like people were judging the food on my plate or how many pieces of cake I ate ( I had ½ a piece, in case you want to know!).  My quality of life, even having to track my food and schedule time for activity, is SO much better than it ever was at my heaviest.  I have a whole new lease on life.

I’m still figuring out where I want to try to maintain and I think I have settled on 180 pounds.  I think that will be a good maintenance weight for me so my goal is to get to that weight and then work on maintaining that within a 5 pound radius.  That is all subject to change and I feel really good at this weight but would like to lose just a bit more before settling in.  No time limit as to when I want to get there but as long as the scale doesn’t go up, I am happy!  One day at a time!! 

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Oct 07, 2012
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