melly37

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Well, it's Saturday.....my fill is on Tuesday.  I am really hoping to feel good restriction after this fill.  Since I already have some restriction, I do think it's possible.  I am not sure how to approach Dr. Frezza though.

I don't know if he will be nice enough to allow me input on how many CC's of saline I should get.  I first need to know if he primed the band.  I somehow doubt that he did.....if he did, that would mean there were 3 CC's put in at surgery and another 2 at my first fill.  I don't think I have enough restriction if I have 5 CC's in my band.  UGH!  I just don't know.  I know that he believes in filling up the band ASAP, so I am not afraid he will be stingey with the saline, I am afraid he will be too generous.  On the other hand, I'm afraid if I tell him to only give me a couple of CC's that I will regret it if I still don't have good restriction.  It's so hard to know.
Most bandsters don't have to worry about it, they trust their doctor to do the right thing.....I don't.  Not anymore.  It would be different if his office was in town, or even an hour or two away......but a 12 hour round trip drive isn't very convenient.  
I tried to do the plateau buster's diet this week.  HA!  It was extremely hard!!  Then a bandster posted a way to test your restriction.....trying to eat two cups of oatmeal, etc.  Since I wanted to try that and didn't want to deprive myself too much before my fill, I went off of it.  It did show me how addicted to carbs I am though.  I was so hoping this surgery would be another magic pill, and all of the sudden I would only WANT small portions of HEALTHY foods.  LMAO!  What was I thinking??  It's still a battle with my mind.  I am taking this upcoming fill very seriously though.  I am really going to stay on clear liquids for at least three days...and full liquids for a couple.  I will probably have some swelling after this fill and don't want to stretch out my pouch.  If I stay on liquids that long it might also bring me back to a safer place in carb land.  Maybe I will have detoxed!  LOL  I did buy some more Isopure and have lots of soup on hand still.   I know I can do this.....it's time to get on with it!!

Dr. Frezza's office moved my fill to April 15th, instead of today.  Oh well.  My husband is going to go with me now, and we will go up the day before and make a small trip of it.  I really hope that this fill does the trick for a little while though,.  The only thing that I am really afraid of is being too full....and I will be flying out to D.C. about two weeks after my fill.  I will be a nervous wreck I am sure, and some say the flying made their band tighter.  
All I can do is hope for the best  I am so ready to start losing weight again.  I have been trying to be better since my last post about how much I eat in a day.  I did log my food and calories for a few days.  LOL    I just feel like I don't have time to do it.  I've been trying to keep count in my head though.  I am starting to be able to eat too much at a time and getting pretty hungry between meals.  

Debbie finally found out the cause of her having no restriction with her band.  The band IS NOT placed around her stomach and esophogus!!   We don't know yet if Frezza made the mistake, but it sure looks like it!!  She will get another surgery in a couple of weeks and her new doctor will be able to tell if something went horribly wrong, or if Frezza frucked up!!  If he messed up the surgery, I hope she gets welll compensated for her year of hell!!

I am trying to motivate myself again.  I was so happy to see the scales moving the first 6 weeks after surgery....I couldn't imagine that it would have stopped so soon.   

I would say for the last 10 years or so my weightloss always stopped around 20 pounds or so, and the scale wouldn't budge after that.  Therefore, I would get discouraged and quit dieting.  I sort of did the same thing this time around.  The big difference is I can't go hog wild on my portions now, but I can sure eat bad stuff!  UGH

So, to motivate myself, I am trying to get back in the mindset I had right before surgery.  

*  I quit smoking as a requirement for the surgery....but I have felt so much better after quitting.  Before surgery I was excited to see how much more energy I would have for exercising being smoke free AND being thinner.

*  I looked forward to taking some sort of vacation this summer where I wouldn't be TOO embarassed to wear a swimsuit.  I knew I wouldn't be ready for a bikini, but just to not look like a beached whale would be great!

*  In the past (way back when I was around 20 years old) counting calories made me feel empowered.  I was in control...I could control what I ate just by limiting calorie intake.  I lorded over food!! 

*  Getting a whole new wardrobe for summer was in my plans.  

*  Getting off of my diabetes and high blood pressure meds was definitely something I wanted to do as soon as possible

These are just a few of my thoughts that I used to day dream about right before surgery.  All of these are still attainable.  I just need a little kick in the butt.    I have not lost the war.....just take a break from battling. LOL  I am back in the game baby!!!

Well, I have really been stalled with my weight loss for the last three to four weeks.   I finally got down to 225 right before Aunt Flo showed up last month.  When she left I was back up to around 230.  Since then I have gone back down to 225, but some mornings its at 227, 228...this morning it was 229 and last week it was 224.  SO, I guess it's obvious I have been really stalled.  
If I am being honest with myself I guess I am probably taking in too many calories.  I wanted to believe that I was doing good because I was eating pretty small portions and even started exercising.  *sigh*  I guess I will need to start counting calories.  I really hate doing that.  I thought I would be free from real dieting since being banded.  I knew I would need to make healthier choices, but I need to do what it takes to lose this weight!!  I am excited about my fill in less than two weeks,  I am almost positive that will give me real good restriction!  I sure hope so!!!
I did have some awesome news this week.  I have been invited to go to a conference through work!!!   I will be flying to Washington DC the last week of April!!!!  OMG!!!    I have never had an oppurtunity like that, EVER!!!!  I am so excited!!   We will be able to take tours and see stuff in the evenings.  I was just thinking to myself the other day that I would probably never have the money or the chance to travel to Washington DC.  This is just such an awesome chance!!   I am so dang glad I changed jobs almost a year ago.  If I hadn't of changed jobs I would have never had the lap band done either!!  I had looked in to it half heartedly before, but once a co-worker at my new job said she was going to persue it, I decided to look in to it more seriously.  She ended up chickening out, and here I am!   LOL  
I really have been blessed this past year.....so I guess counting calories until I have proper restriction, or even forever might be something I can live with! 

I had a rather long conversation with my insurance company yesterday.  They will not cover or reimburse for fills for anyone except Frezza's office.  They also will no longer pay for a fill under flouro unless it's medically necessary.  So, Frezza will have to do it himself in his office.  I called his office and scheduled a fill for April 2nd.  I wanted to go through him rather than Fill Centers USA this time, mainly becuase HE will be doing it.  Since I haven't seen him since surgery, I have a lot of questions for him.  

I don't think I will need a big fill, since I am feeling a bit of restriction at this point.  I also need to find out from Frezza if there was any saline put in my band when it was placed.  Someone posted that AP bands should have 3 CC's of saline in from the beginning to prime the band.  I just hope his office doesn't try to move or cancel my appointment!!

Or so we have been told all of our lives.   Well, I think the 2 CC fill happened for a reason.  While I can't say that I am at my sweet spot, I can say that I fill some restriction.  I didn't stay on liquids for the full week.  I went ahead and went to mushies on Sunday and part of Monday,  Once I was on solid foods, I could feel myself getting full on only about 1/2 cup of food!!  On Thursday I was eating leftovers for lunch,  I had shredded roast and pinto beans.  I took a big bite and didn't chew very well, and it came back up!  YUCK!!  Not pleasant!  I spent about 10 minutes trying to get my two bites of lunch back up.  I was pretty sore afterwards but because I was so hungry I managed to eat some more...mostly beans.  That might have been a bad thing to do, I hope not too bad.  I stayed on liquids after that the rest of the day.

I am eating smaller portions and trying to chew better.....but last night and today have been able to eat more than 1/2 cup of food.  So, even though my 2 CC's wasn't enough to put me in the sweet spot, I think 5 CC's would have left me overfilled!  I am pretty sure that my next fill will be with Fill Centers USA.  I found out that X-Ray Associates of NM is $473 plus tax!!  YIKES!!  I can't afford that!  I will talk to my insurance company though as well and find out what they will or can do.   I guess they did inform Frezza's office that they won't pay for flouro fills anymore.  

The long drive and gas money make is such a pain to go to Frezza's office, and it isn't even worth it since they have NO AFTERCARE!!  NONE!! 

I got up at 1:45 am (Friday).  Took my shower, got my make up on, etc.  Headed out of the door at 3:30am on my way to Lubbock.  I realized at about halfway down there that I was really running short on time.  I had to stop at almost every little town to pee....I had too much coffee, but I NEEDED the coffee!  Anyway, I got pulled over by a Texas Trooper about 20 miles outside of Lubbock.  LUCKILY he only gave me a warning.  I get to Lubbock and way overshoot where I am supposed to go.  I called the radiology department to let them know I was going to be a little late, as I was very lost.  (my husband had always driven before, so I was clueless)  The VERY nice guy, Tim, that did my fill gave me step by step instructions, and didn't hang up until I drove in to the parking lot!!  He is so awesome!!!  Love him!

I get in there and he asks me what size band I have.  Well, I don't really know.  I thought AP bands were all 10CC.  I told him that I have an AP band.  He looks at under the flouro (xray) and says it LOOKS like a 4CC band to him, but he wants to call my surgeon's office and talk to the nurse to verify.  He called and talked to Sarah, she told him that it was the low volume AP Band, the 4CC.  The radiologist was happy and told me that's good.  He gave me 2 CC's of saline.  He thought he was filling me up halfway.  The fill was painless.  I felt the numbing shot, but nothing that bad at all.  The fill needle I couldn't feel at all.  

After the fill he had me stay there for about 5-10 minutes and I drank my water.  I felt fine, so he had me go see Sarah.  She came out and spoke to me.  I asked her again if I had a 4 CC band, and she said yes.  I was doubting them by now, but I couldn't quite think clearly.  I was running on about 4 hours of sleep and was already 8 hours in to my day. On top of that I had only water and coffee feeding my brain up to that point.  I really didn't feel any different.  I know that through Frezza's office they give you pretty aggressive fills.  If the radiologist thought I had a 10 CC band, he would have given me 5 CC's.  The more I thought about it on the way home, the more I kept doubting it....I just remember that the AP was a 10 CC band.  I couldn't wait to get home and do some research on the internet.   I just felt that if I wasn't given as big of a fill because of wrong information that I was cheated.  That's an awful long trip to not get the most out of it!  

Sure enough, when I got home, there were some very helpful people who responded to my post on the message board.  There IS a low volume AP Band, but it's 10 CC's, not 4!!  The other AP Band holds 14 CC's!!  UGH!!!  Screwed by Frezza's staff AGAIN!!!  Last night when I was so tired and cranky I was very very upset after learning this.  This morning, I am in a better place.  I wouldn't REALLY want to be overfilled....that would be too hard to get an unfill.  AND even though I am restriced to clear liquids right now, I think that 2 CC's might have helped.  Either that, or I am swollen from the fill.  I took my meds this morning, without thinking....and I think some of them are STILL sitting in my pouch!  I have felt something in my chest ever since.  I have drank water, Crystal Light, and broth, but I still feel something there.  I hope it's not JUST because I am swollen.  I hope my band is actually tighter now.   

Since, I thought I might have had a very small amount of restriction before the fill, this extra 2 CC's can only help.  *Taking a deep breath*  This is a journey.....I can do this.  I can't wait to see what happens when I eat "regular" food again.  Until then, I will do my best to stay on my clear liquids, then phase II for a couple of days. 

I am scheduled to get my first fill tomorrow.  I will be leaving around 3am to get to Lubbock on time.  It almost didn't happen though,  Frezza's office called and told me that my fill had been canceled!  ARGH!!   They were claiming that my insurance didn't approve the fill  under flouro, but I had a letter in my hand saying it was approved.  So, in the end it was straightened out....but it sure did upset me and ruined my day!!

  Almost since starting solid foods my weight has been stuck.  I was hovering around 230....never lower, but sometimes a few pounds higher.  I have been counting calories, trying to not exceed 1,000.  Some days lately my hunger has been pretty big.  I figure Aunt Flo is about a week away which explains my appetite, but of course doesn't help my frustration level.  

I drug our Total Gym in to the house from the garage last weekend.  I started using it, but can't remember all of the exercises.  As soon as I quit stressing about the numbers on the scale the numbers went down.  4 whole pounds in one day, and another pound since yesterday!!  Yeah!!!  I knew that my body couldn't fight me forever!!  Ha! 

My fill is confirmed for the 29th, which is great.  Sarah did tell me that I will be back on phase 1 for a week.  UGH!!   Oh well, I don't want to take any chances on stretching my pouch, so I will do my best to follow their orders. I haven't been good about posting my food intake, I think focusing on it that much was actually bad for me, if that makes any sense. 

Oh my goodness......I had my first PB and sliming episode, and I never want to go through that again!!!      I started eating solid foods a week ago.  I have been watching my portions and trying to make good choices with food.  Since doing so I had gained a couple of pounds, !  Go figure!  So, I think THAT, along with the fact that I will probably start my period in a week or so led me to wanting to eat more food.  We had a potluck yesterday for Valentine's Day.  I had a couple of pinwheels.  About 30 minutes later it was time to eat.  I had a hot wing.  On my plate I also had a small amount of salad, a FRIED chicken thigh  (I know!)  and some chicken enchiladas.  I knew I wouldn't or shouldn't eat it all, but I wanted some of everything.  I ate the salad.  We were busy at work and I was expected to log on to the phones and help the agents take calls.  I started eating faster.....had a few bites of enchiladas....a few bites of chicken, then....OMG!!!!  I had a horrible pain in my chest, then my mouth started salivating like it does when you are about to throw up.  I proceeded to grab my trash can then realized I had time to run to the restroom.  I was hunched over the toilet for about 5 to 10 minutes.  (next part is graphic)  I was able to PB the food in about 5 different PB's,  The food was coming up from the larger stomach, so there wasn't any stomach acid.  So, the taste wasn't like throw up, but it was still gross!!  A ton of mucas would come up with each lump of food.  It was like the food was wrapped in mucas,  YUCKO!!   I was sore the rest of the day and stayed with liquids.  I have had mainly just soft foods today.  
As scary as the situation was, I was sort of excited it happened,  I only say that because I have read so many posts about people experiencing this....I figured it would happen but only after a few fills.  I guess this sort of gives me hope that I won't need a ton of fills to have really good restriction.  I think the fill I have scheduled on the 29th might even do it for awhile,  I don't know, I can always hope though!!  
Other than that there hasn't been too much going on.  One of my good friends from Social Security lost one of her sons.  He was onlyl 44 years old!!    I don't know what happened, but I am going to the funeral tomorrow.  Poor Linda.