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So today is the 3 month anniversary of getting banded. I can hardly believe that it has three months passed. As you know, I had my second fill about a week ago. I wish I could say that eating since has gone well, but I'm eating very little. It seems that I've got some restriction going on here!  I know that I don't need an unfill because I'm getting in liquids and some mushies. It seems that I'm tight until around 8pm at night! Glad my band thinks this is funny, me; not so much!

Biggest surprise of the day is that the scale read 261 this morning! That is 61lbs gone forever! I can't even tell you how very excited I am. I worked out hard the last few days and the scale showed that progress. I finally broke down and joined Club Fitness. You can't beat it right now! There is just a preview center by my house and it is free until the open the actual club in September. So I took my behind in there and worked out on all the machines and the weather was beautiful this weekend and I did lots of walking!

I'm extremely happy with my progress this far! Never in my wildest of dreams would I have thought that I would lose this much weight as quickly as I have. I know the day will come where things will slow down and the scale will stop moving or I'll wake up in bandster hell; but for now, I'm going to enjoy every last minute of my success!

I have stopped to think of all the things that I have gained these last few months and how valuable they are to me. The most important of them all has been my self esteem and self respect. I'm not sure who the woman who weighted 322 was, but she is slowly morphing back into the woman I was before my world blew up with ovarian cancer! The best part is that I remember that woman and I'm embracing each new thing that comes along! I often think my body is screaming, "it's about time you remembered!" It is all the little things that come along with that. For some they may seem insignificant, but for me huge. My boyfriend is overseas and he used to lotion up my back, well 60lbs later, I can pretty much reach the areas in my back to lotion them myself (I'm extremely flexible). I'm enjoying all the clothes that I can now wear again! I'm enjoying seeing family who haven't seen me since April just gawk at the change in me both physically and emotionally! And most of all, I'm enjoying my friends who have been with me thru the cancer journey remark how I absolutely glow with health and vitality! Being in remission and being healthy again is the best thing in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so looking forward to each new days as it happens and for sharing my experience with others! Here is to the next 60lbs!

Just got back from having my second fill today! He only added .5 cc to my band. So I am at 4.5. The doctor says that some people do great at this restriction but that we will see how I'm doing 6 weeks from now. This was my offical 3 month check up and he said I'm doing fantastic and to keep up the good work. I had an encouraging talk with my NUT also. She was blown away by how good I'm doing. They keep asking me what my goal weight is and I've had the same reply each time, "HEALTHY." To me, it is not a number, but how good I'm feeling. I just don't want to think about numbers on a scale anymore. I want to concentrate on controlling my head hunger, cravings and eating the proper things/amounts. That is all it is about for me now. Once I can control all of those things, maybe and that is a big maybe, I'll throw a number at them. I think it will take months before I can control all of these issues, so I have time to really come up with what I will be comfortable at.

In these last few months, there have already been so many changes to me all together. I had my check up with my oncologist and he wanted me to lose 25lbs prior to my 3 month visit. When he saw me he was floored. I just smiled and told him that I saw his 25 and raised him 25 more. It was the absolute best feeling in the world. Throughout my entire exam he kept commenting how he couldn't believe how far I'd come in such a short period of time. When we sat to talk after my exam he told me that he watched me walk into the office and saw that I moved completely different than previously. He says that there is an entire new air of confidence and self respect about me. He said that he'll be looking forward to see what the next 3 months bring. I told him I was too!

I saw my counselor on the very next day. We talked for our usual hour and at the end of the conversation he stopped and told me that I had been smiling the entire time. I just had to laugh! That is major progress! I've been thru so much in the last 6 years that more often than not, you wouldn't find me with a smile. There was so much weighing we down both figuratively and literally!  My cancer journey has been long and this weight that continues to fall off is helping to insure that it stays in remission for as long as possible (hoping for forever)!

With this weight loss I'm finding that I have more energy to do things. I'm able to play with my godchildren, take long walks, do things around the house and generally just move more. I've dropped 2 sizes and I'm hoping that this new fill brings me down another size. I'm looking forward to what the next few months bring and celebrating my 40th birthday in grand style!

I've offically hit the 50lb gone marker! Yipee for me! Well, to be technical, I passed it as of this morning! Yep, jumped right over it. To say that I am elated would be an understatement!

I was supposed to have my second fill today, but I had to reschedule. The heat in St. Louis is wrecking havoc on my Narcolepsy and I'm not supposed to be out in the heat. To top it all off, I don't have air in my car. Gotta get that fixed I know! I'll get my fill next Monday and all will be well!

So today marks the 2 month anniversary since I was banded. I am down 46.4 lbs and feeling awesome. I can hardly believe that I've almost lost 50lbs.  It is the whole body dysmorphia thing I got going on. People tell me that they've seen the changes, yet to my eye I see nothing.  I see and feel it in my clothing, yes. For instance; I am down a cup size in bras (yeah!) and I'm shopping in my own closet and down to a size 22. Yet for some reason, in my mind, I haven't gone far. My counselor said I needed to reward myself for a job well done. Today I went shoe shopping. Can't beat BOGO 1/2 sale! I splurged and got myself a good pair of Naturilizers. My feet will be thanking me for sure!

I'm looking forward to the journey and my next fill on June 22nd! Until then, peace out!

Well, as of this morning, I got on the scale and it is offically 40lbs gone. I can't even tell you the excitement I'm feeling. I've been playing with 1.5 lbs here and there and it is now offical!

I'm still completely shocked when I put on some clothes that I've found in my dresser or the closet and they fit fantastically. I stand in shock as clothes are no longer tight and some actually looking big on me. Someone at work actually told me the other day that the dress I'm wearing looked too big on me. Now that was an awesome moment! Never had that happen!

Hope everyone is having a glorious Memorial Day weekend!

Yesterday was my first fill. Needless to say I was very worried! Don't know why, I've had chemo ports and my doctor joked it would be far easier than that. I'm a cancer survivor, I can handle anything, yet I was still nervous. But needless to say, it went off without a hitch. I found out that my band was not tight enough around my stomach so he put 3ccs in during surgery. So yesterday he only added another cc.

So it was on to liquids for the day. Tried eating something this morning and had a stuck episode. Not gonna happen again. Last night to keep my mind off of food, I decided to start trying clothes on from my closet that I haven't worn in quite awhile. Total wohoo moments! I am down 2 sizes from where I was before surgery. Today, I'm wearing a dress that I bought and never got to wear because it became too tight on me. Gives new meaning to "shopping in your own closet." The remainder of the week will be clothes that I haven't worn in a very long time. I'm so excited I can't stand it.

And the best part of waking up this morning was stepping on the scale (yes, I know I'm only supposed to do it once a week). I am 1.5 lbs away from the big 40lbs lost! I'm going to try and not weigh myself now for a week and see how I do. I just felt that after last nights dress up, I had to be down more than what the doctor's scale said. So there it was!

That is my exciting news for now! I pray that everyone is doing well in their journey also!

Today is the one month anniversary of my surgery. I was both excited and trepiditous to get on the scale this morning. My weight has been fluctuating back and forth between 4 lbs. Needless to say, this morning was not to the positive side. According to my scale, I have only lost two pounds since my post op visit. In total I have now lost 32lbs. Yes, I've very excited about that! Although I would have liked to see the scale move a little more, I know what the issues have been, I'm tracking my food consumption and totally looking forward to my first fill on 5/11.

The remarkable things I've seen since I started this journey are: My bras are getting big on me. First place I gain, first place I lose. Yes, I'm very happy about this too! I have much more energy to get me thru the day; I've been able to cut down on medication; my Narcolepsy has been pretty nonexistant since surgery; my overall happiness and attitude has turned around; I'm discovering that I don't really need Diet Coke to jump start my day; I've found that people are more supportive than I anticipated; and did I tell you my clothes are getting lose and my bras are getting too big? These are just some of the happy things that have occured this month!

It's been a difficult weekend for me. I had to drive up to Chicago for my Uncle's funeral. Being around family this early in the game was stressful. I did okay on Friday, but Saturday at the luncheon after the funeral was hellish. It was family style and I ate mashed potatoes, a little chicken, mostaccoli and stuffing. Let's follow that with sherbet. And it all went down fine which stinks. I had no breakfast that morning so that was breakfast and lunch. For dinner I had scrambled eggs. I feel like I ate too too much yesterday. I've got to get back on the wagon.  I don't want to slide back to where I once was.

So it has been one week tomorrow. I'm starting to get hungry and have been experimenting with eating certain things. Let's just say I moved to mushy food two days early. The first few days I wasn't eating much of anything. Nothing was going down too well. But eventually the swelling has subsided and I'm able to actually get something into me. I have my post op appointment with the doctor in the morning. I'll also see the dietician. Hopefully she will have some insight into what I can start to eat. Hope everyone had an enjoyable Easter!

I just got home about an hour ago. Doing very well! Yesterday I slept all day long. Anesthesia, not sleeping much the day before, lack of provigil and morphine, heck, who could stay awake. Today was much better. Once I went for my xray, come back and started the day. By 10am, started the paperwork to come home. My cats were happy to see me for sure. I'm off to take a nap now. I'm not offically been banded!