scrappygirl8

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I am officially in Onederland!!!!

I am feeling almost back to normal. My energy level is still a little sluggish and I get tired out easy, but over all I feel great. I am not hungry ever. I am so sick of protien shakes, that I have NOT been taking them as often as I am supposed to be, so that is probably why I am lacking energy. Everytime I take them though I feel all sloshy and get nauseated for like the next 5-10min. I have been great at taking all my vitamins though. I am nervous the doctor is going to put me back on my diabetes pills though, because my blood sugars are running a bit high. Ugh... I really hope the weight loss gets rid of this disease for me. All my scabs from surgery have almost completely fallen off and the itchy feeling is starting to go away. My insides are still a teensy bit tender if I push on it hard or laying on my stomach overnight, it will feel a little tender in the morning. My football size purple black and blue mark is almost completely gone. The scale tonight said 201.8, which is a total of 10.2 lbs lost since sugery, and 5.2 lbs lost since last week., and 1.8 more pounds until Onederland!!! I see my doctor on Friday, and then 2 more weeks left of the liquid diet and then I think I will move to mushies.

A week after surgery and I am surprised at how fast I have healed. I have resumed my normal position of sleeping on my stomach.  I am just very carful when I roll, as to not disturb anything. I haven't resumed to exercising much besides walking. I don't think I am quite ready to do that yet. per my doctors orders I have been following a diet of, I oz. of boost and 4 oz. of water while awake. To be perfectly honest, I am not the greatest at the water thing. It is easiest for me if I just grab a bottle of propel and sip continuously and then take my 1 oz of boost seperately, or if I skip an hour to double up the next hour. But I have not been religiously taking my boost either. I know, naughty naughty, but I am so sick of the boost, and I still have 3 more weeks at least to go. On an exiting note. I am down 5 lbs from surgery and 7 more lbs till Onederland!

Anyone who tells you it doesn't hurt is a liar. Just saying. There are 6 open incisions, and yes they hurt, and yes they are uncomfortable. I am sure after I am several months post-op after much weight loss I am sure it is easy to say it didn't hurt that bad. It's like having a baby, the results are worth the pain. I have bright purple/crimson colored bruises all over my abdomen, one is the size of my open hand, so yes it hurts. Is it worth it, yes I think so, although the last few days I might have said otherwize. I am not hungry at all, yes a little head hunger for anything that is meat, but that is probably because our protien source comes from a sickingly sweet drink that makes me groan everytime I have to drink it which is every hour that I am awake. My surgery went well took 2.5 hours. The evening after was the worst. My heartrate went really high my blood pressure got really low and my pulse went really high. It was scary and my alarms kept going off every five minutes waking up my roommate, until 11:00. Right now I am just plain sore, walking around like an old grandma. I feel confident that I will make it. They did not do a leak test on me. They said if someone has a leak they get really sick. Me I am just nauseaus ALL THE TIME! I feel like I just gorged on Thanksgiving Dinner and someone keeps trying to shove food in my face. And I am only drinking 4 oz. every hour, feels more like a gallon though. The liquid pain medicine they give you is so nasty, I just decided to go without. It also made my blood sugars go up. I am praying my diabetes goes away, that is the whole reason I decided on this surgery to begin with. Oh yes, and all the fluids they give you in the hospital made me GAIN yes gain 15 lbs of fluid which I got up every 1/2 hour to pee out the first night after surgery that I was home. Thankfully I am now on the losers bench, even though I haven't lost all of that water weight.

drum roll please............13.2 lbs (yes that is it) It is very frusterating when you are not eating a thing to have the scale not move for a few days, I think my body is in starvation mode though.

Nervous / Scared / Exited is what best describes me at this point. Tomorrow is the BIG day! I have to get up at 5:30 to get myself ready. The hospital wants me showered before I come and I also have to get my daughter ready ( she won't like getting up that early ), plus it is over an hour drive to St. Cloud where I am dropping off my daughter with my sister, and having my surgery at 8:30.  I cannot have anything to eat or drink after midnight, exept to take my medication in the morning, so I think I am going to drink a bunch of water before I go to bed, so I dont feel dehydrated all day tomorrow when I cannot drink anything. The things I am bringing to the hospital are.... my pillow, tons of socks, a heavy sweatshirt, down blanket (I am never warm enough), my meds, a book ( just in case ), earplugs (noise drives me crazy), cell phone ( I wonder if I can use it?), toothbrush/ paste, shampoo conditioner, lotion, comfy clothes, contact case, ipod, insurance cards, and drivers license....hmmm I hope I am not forgetting anything important. I don't function too well at an early hour, this is why I am making this list now. Wish me luck!

1.) To get to Onderland -weight of 199 lbs.
2.) To lose 50 lbs- weight of 183
3.) To lose 60 lbs- weight of 173
4.) To lose 70 lbs- weight of 163
5.) To lose 80 lbs- weight of 153
6.) To reach my surgeons goal of 150 lbs (If the weight stops here, I will be ok with it, Really)
7.) To lose 90 lbs- weight of 143
8.) To lose 100 lbs- weight of 133
9.) To reach my goal (unofficially) of 125

Other goals:
-to get rid of the diabetes for good
-to get out of the house more, and be less worried about the way I look
-to be a single digit clothing size
-to wear a size 7/8 again like when I was married
-to exercize at least every other day
-to buy a whole new wardrobe because I deserve it for all my hard work!
-to eliminate all my infertility issues
-to buy sexy lingerie at Victoria Secret for my husband

I am sure I will think of more later, but this is what I have come up with for now.

Still following my diet. I have lost 8 lbs since I started the liquid diet. I have absolutely no energy. Lifting up my arms feels like a chore. Yuck, I hope it is not going to be like this for the next month. I think my body is definitely in starvation mode. I feel so tired. I passed my physical yesterday, but she wanted my hemoglobin, and the nurse didn't take it, so I have to go give them more blood. If my hemoglobin comes back good, I should be all ready for surgery. The hospital called yesterday and said I need to be there by 8:30 next Tues ( May 5th). I am the second surgery! It will be nice to just get it done and over with, and on my way to recovery. I am praying everything will go well.

My surgery is in 10 days! This is what I keep telling myself..... it sounds much more optimistic than 10 more days of this liquid diet. I cannot believe I have made it this far. I made a commitment not to cheat, and I am not, and will not. I want surgery to go well, with no complications and the least risk as possible and I have had 6 months to prepare for this 2 week fast ( well actually 6 week, if you consider post-op ). As far as difficulty, the first 2 days were the hardest for me. Day one was a little bit hard, day 2 was twice as hard as day 1, and day 3 was only about 1/2 as hard as day one, today seems to be a breeze so far. It is getting easier. The first day I actually had a headache, I think from withdrawls. The one annoying thing is that I always have a bad taste in my mouth??? So far I have been just consuming my shakes, sugar free jello, and propel. Not too creative, I know. Easter is on Sunday though (at our house), so I have tons of family coming. Needless to say, but I. AM. DREADING. IT. I will be good though, I promise. I can't imagine messing this up and having to do this over, or have the incisions without the surgery, because my liver was too big. Oh yes and so far I have dropped 5 lbs since the start of my liquid diet. Not too bad, eeh?

Surgery is set for May 3rd. I started my Liquid diet today. The Liquid diet for me is, Boost 3x's a day, my vitamins, and any 10 calorie or less beverages, such as sugar free Jello, Chicken broth, and Propel or Crystal Light. I don't feel the liquid diet will go too bad for me, because I have been preparing by cutting out my breakfasts for the last 2 weeks, and I cut out breakfast and Lunch yesterday, so.... All and all day 1 is going pretty smoothly. I am hoping the time will just fly by; we will see!