really feel like it will never happen

Apr 02, 2009

how can one be not fat enough????????

how come not being about to wipe my butt is not on the insurance forms
for a reason to have surgery?

really 4'11'' and 227 pounds is not fat enough since in march 2007 and beofre that march 2006
i drop some weight (ya i know i lost weight) and fell below the BMI min. by a few tenths..
so i don't quilify.........

i don't have diabetes YET....
i do work out
i try and eat right, NO  I DO EAT RIGHT
i just eat too damn much, i hate myself everyday
because i never feel full, everyone around me and thanks mom
for not believing in me...i don't feel full
i want too..really i do

i'm at the point where i should just get a personal loan and have it done,
but that means i no longer will be able to buy a house if i do that

i'm alone it's just me, i have to get myself a place to live and grow old in
i don't want to live in a  apartment all my life,  if i wasn't so scared to go out and find a man
but, what man dates fat women... i know there out there i'm not trying to hurt any ones feels but
where are they? really
living alone is hard enough i'm special i get alone and fat.....

i know this sounds bad, i'm just so  at a loss, how many times can they say no.....
how come it is okay for all these pill, jenny craig, weight watchers companies can make millions and millions
and billions of dollars off of fat people knowing that  it will only work on 3% of the poeple
and most of the US is obese?????????????????????

if it is killing so many people almost as many as ciggerettes.....then why
is no one doing anything about it....

enough of my pitty party...
sorry
sydney

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