I think it's getting harder for all of us, our bodies are settling in to a nice winter weight and maybe comfortable here for a while. I am not giving up, I still want to lose 100%, but 80% is good, too ... If you can't figure out anything wrong you are probably doing just fine! xosm

Thanks, Scott. I only feel like a failure when I let myself, it's all relative, right? I doubt I can make my 100% goal by February, but I am OK with trying. I had a goal of under 200 by my birthday and it took me about an extra month. What will be will be. If I can lose 18 more pounds I will be at 90%, imagine that? Very cool. I just know if I buckle down I should still be able to lose 1-2lbs a week. So maybe I'm only going to lose 10-15 more pounds by Feb 15, maybe it will take me longer to lose the rest, maybe I have to look at my extra skin and where that figures in. I also plan a plastics consult sooner rather than later to see what they say. I'm not a failure even if I never lose another pound, so I'm OK with it all. I will check out your carb post ASAP. I plan to do a carb fast starting tomorrow, I *think*, anyway. I am a little conflicted. I was losing fine following WW program, and then last week I had a few days where I grazed A LOT and did NOT follow program [and I think that was triggered by that crack, I mean, those evil carbs]. This week I had a little over a pound gain, I can't make myself crazy over it, though. I also don't want to get into that 'diet' mentality again, you know, where you're desperate to try the new *thing* that will work. I think I should probably just stay with what was already working fine, before I panic and jump ship. Well .... gee ...., thanks, I think I just talked myself out of my panic here, what a wonderful forum! I am not going crazy. I am not getting fat again. I will follow the rules. I will enjoy my food and I will continue to exercise. I think I can I think I can I think I can. xosm

Hi Julie, I actually am a psychotherapist. That's what I've done for most of my adult life, counsel others. I left a private practice in June to go to work as a consultant for a major corporation. Still, even though I am a professional, I am also a post op RNY who can relate to what you are doing with food. I'm eating chocolate that is giving me a headache as we speak, because I'm stressed about seeing my boss at a formal dinner later, ugh! I have been stress eating and feeling sick also. We learned the behavior of nurturing ourselves with food, when we are emotionally stressed. A baby associates a full belly with contentment. It is something we learn early. Now it no longer comforts us, and we feel lost. It is understandable, life changes this big take a long time to re-learn! Talking about your anger, disappointment, fear is the healthiest thing you are doing. You trust us, that is why you shared that here. I grew up with a dad who cheated, and I learned about it as a teen, and I still get upset when I think about it. Some wounds are hard to mend. We have to remember are parents have flaws, all people do, and the only person we can really change is ourself. If eating is your natural inclination, eat. When you see it doesn't work, write. Let your feelings out. You can't numb this kind of anguish with food. You have to just feel it, and go forward, and allow yourself to grieve, then hold your head up and make a decision not to hurt yourself in order to have a physical manifestation for your emotional pain. Your child needs a healthy Mom to emulate, even if you don't have that for yourself right now. Your own Mom is probably dealing with her own issues of mid-life crisis, in the midst of feeling her age as her beautiful daughter(you) blossoms before her. She probably doesn't even realize how much this hurts all of you, because she is dealing with her own issues. I feel for your Dad, but remember this is their journey as a couple. You need to try to emotionally separate, and maybe even physically separate yourself from the situation, and suggest your Dad sees a counselor, so you aren't in the middle. Take care. My thoughts are with you. Rebecca

I am going in the wrong direction last week 223 today 227 up 4lbs. waist down 2" saw PCP today and she commented on my weight loss and I now think that My goal is out of wack but still trying for it. I was told that for me my body fat would serve me better than the scale as I hold more muscle on my frame than most. So I am having a body fat analysis done and we will see. Doug.

This past week, although I exercised a lot, I found myself grazing a lot on simple carbs. I ended up feeling yucky about it and about my efforts and about the numbers on the scale. I still have 35 pounds to go and I do not think it is realistic that I will lose that much in the 8 weeks I have to go till my surgery date [perhaps it is for you, Scott, with the DS and because of your manly metabolism {curses!!} but I just don't think *I'm* going to continue to lose 10 pounds a month, let alone 15], BUT I will continue to plug along. I kinda feel badly about setting the bar so high, I mean, I really don't want to set myself up for failure. I wonder what the percentage of people lose 100% by a year out? I am going to have to research that ... Anyhoo, I'm here and feeling like another diet failure. The carb cravings have DEFINITLEY grabbed a hold, so now I suppose I have to get a grip and do the right things. OTOH, my exercise regimen is going along super. xosm