This is the part where I.....

.....admit that I am really struggling which given how much of an organized and optimistic person I try to be everyday, it's a very hard thing for me to admit that I am having a hard time. I don't know what is happening because it's hard to put my finger exactly on the cause but I can feel myself just sort of feeling out of control.  I guess it all started with Optifast when I was so gung-ho to just get it done and then I had all those weird reactions....I started to just get an aversion to putting anything in my mouth nutrition wise because I was afraid that I would get sick from the Optifast.  I made it through the Optifast having 2-3 shakes a day plus broth and jello and hopped up on the operating table in good spirits, laughing, and telling stories about my kids all the way until I was passed out. 

Then when I woke up I learned about the intestinal problem that led to the VSG and it took me a while to wrap my head around that but I was able to find peace of mind and focus my energies on understanding how to make this different surgery work to my benefit. Since surgery day I feel like it is a constant struggle.  First, in the hospital with the nausea and pain related to drinking water and then at home with trying to find something, anything that I was able to get in.  I feel like food sucks.  Everything I try seems to go in poorly unless it's soup or yogurt.  Everything I try sits like a dead animal slumped in my stomach and causes me pain and discomfort plus nausea until it passes...including my vitamins. The day before my surgery my GP pulled my blood work to get a baseline analysis of my vitamins and minerals...and my Ferritin came back really low...I don't get it.  I feel like I can't win for trying.  This weekend I came down with a chest cold that has me coughing so badly that my stomach just retches and retches.....thanks to this cold I hardly ate a single thing today....literally I had 1/4 cup of greek yogurt and 1/4 cup of split pea soup today plus some water and nothing else.

I feel afraid that I am not going to rock this weight loss tool like I thought I would.  I feel afraid that I am just going to stay overweight forever.  I feel like the food and nutrition world is swallowing me up.  I feel really scared of food.

I have my nutrionist and social work appointment coming up so there is good time to talk about this but I guess I'm kind of hoping I'm not the only person in the planet that has felt this way?

Oh hun, you are so not alone in how you are feeling this early out of surgery. Your body is saying WTF have you done to me. It will get better I promise you. Find the foods that work for you and stick with those for a bit. Be like a baby and only introduce one new food at a time. If it doesn't work then leave it and try it again in a few days or weeks. If you are nauseous try some Gravol or Gravol ginger. I used a lot of milk products in the beginning as most protein powders tasted so gross. I added skim milk powder to creamed soups and puddings for a bit of extra protein.
I ended up Lactose Intolerant so I had to switch to Lactose free milk.

One day at a time. You will rock your sleeve.

Linda

Hey friend,

I have no advice to offer.  I am just extending a HUGE hug and a shoulder to lean on.  

You are strong, you got thru so much already.  This will NOT get the best of you.

You have hundreds who have your back.

Keep going, be strong!!!!

XOXOXOXXOXOXOXo

Thanks so much for your kind words the both of you.  I just have been feeling so isolated lately.  It's a weird feeling for me.

 You are doing great...especially given the challenges facing you.  I think you expect too much of yourself.  We all had an idealized vision of what life would be like after wls...and surprise, its a lot harder than most of us  thought.  You will do amazing...but not all at once and not right this immediate minute.  You've got to build the foundation one brick at a time and yes, sometimes it is like two steps forward and one step back.

You really are doing amazing, Melissa...And you are a super strong woman.  I admire you and know that you will get through this difficult time and put all the struggling feelings far behind you!

We'll laugh about this when we are buying the yoga pants at Lulu lemon and are in full on skinny ***** mode, lol!

And please feel free to call me anytime if you are struggling!  I'm happy to offer any support that I can, especially because you have offered me such awesome support through this whole thing.

Aw (((Melissa) - I feel so awful for you - you have had one stumbling block after another! I sure wish that I had some answers for you that would help you to make sense of all this, but I don't. Still, I had to post to you because I can feel how discouraged you are feeling and I just wanted to send you a big cyber-hug!
 
I think that it's such a big shock for you because, as you said, you were so positive about everything, even when something didn't go the way it was supposed to. You sucked it up & moved ahead. Melissa, you do have a wonderful attitude and your NUT & SW will be able to help you work this out so that you can overcome your fear of eating. You will definitely not stay overweight, but you do need to get some proper food, vitamins and protein in so that you can be healthy. Remember - your kids need you to be healthy for them too & I know that you did this so that you could run and play more easily with them.

Go to your appointments and tell them everything that you have told us here so that they understand how serious this problem is for you. I'm sure that others have run into similar food intake problems and I'm betting that they will be able to suggest some things that you can do to solve this. I would think that if I felt pain & nausea every time I ate or drank anything, I'd be afraid to put anything in my mouth either - my go****'s only natural to want to stop trying.  But, Melissa, you have come too far to let this defeat you now - you WILL find a solution and slowly but surely you will get back on track again. 

How long will it be until you see the NUT and the SW? If it's not right away, I think it might be wise to call them & explain your situation and ask if they can squeeze you in right away. Make sure they know that this is a constant problem, not just once in a while.  Please let us know what happens, okay? Sending out a big hug to you, kiddo!

Deb

 You are going to do just fine and you will get through this. I could hardly keep anything down at first either, in fact I didn't even try, except for liquids.  Just take your time, it is not a race.  Are you up walking?  I found that this really really helped me, along with sipping away at the premier protein shakes.  This was the advice given to me by the vets, and I followed it.  It really really helped.  you are not alone in this either.  There are many people here on this board that have gone through what you have experienced.  Just go slow and take your time, your body needs to heal and adjust.  All the best, and don't be too hard on yourself!

 Awww Hang in there!!  I don't have any experience to give you insight from but I can offer support!  Give yourself time and the positive attitude you had before the surgery is what will get you through this tough time!!  

Hugs,

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I don't have any words of wisdom because I am in a similar place. My issues are definitely not as severe as yours but I am struggling trying to get in the disgusting Liquid PPI twice a day (with SF syrup-still terrible), iron, calcium, multi-vitamin, and colace. Then protein shakes, food and water- it is overwhelming and seems like there are not enough hours in the day.
I try to remember that many of the people on here have struggled and they persevered and found ways to get in what they needed.

I feel for you with your struggles with nausea that makes it so much more difficult to get anything down. I hope your appointments provide you with a wealth of information to help you get through this time.

I find I almost always tell people that I am fine even when I'm not. If you are like this as well, try not to sugar coat your situation when you describe it to the dietician. Good luck!

Hey Melissa, Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Although I haven't had surgery yet I can feel your pain and confusion by reading your words. You have been through so much and have jumped so many hurtles lately. All of which you have come out on top of. Hang in there and remember baby steps. I am sure that it will get better. Lot's of hugs being sent your way. Denise