I binged...its always darkest before the dawn!

Yes, I'll be the first to talk about it openly and how the regain has mentally played with my mind. 

I actually have done the best the last year with the binge. I created an eating accountability facebook group for long timers and that has really helped me with my mindful eating and resisting the urge to binge. 

I'm at that point that I'm managing it better but every once in a while, a moment creeps up.  What is really scary is that my binges are ALWAYS carbs/sugar/candy/chocolate - so it plays complete havoc with my reactive hypoglycemia.  That's the scariest part of the binge. I've twiced past out because of my blood sugar going too low. 

The bingeing thing will probably be a LIFE LONG struggle for me. I've read a few studies where it says that binge eaters have a harder time post WLS. It makes sense.  Initially the binges may be small, but after we can eat more, they can get scary as hell and bigger.

Feel free to add me on facebook  if you ever want to chat, (signature tells how to add me).

Dawn

Thanks for your wonderful reply, Dawn.  Its really comforting to know that I'm not alone in having this problem.  I completely agree about the advice re: not worrying because I'm a bit underweight.  To me, that's my voice of denial.  I've always known that my recovery post-wls would be defined in behavioural terms.  In fact, even the scale going up is not going to be my measure...its whether I am following the rules that support sane and nourishing eating for my permanently altered digestive system.

I was feeling sad yesterday...really sad, about a whole bunch of issues that have been triggered for me emotionally by a relationship (of sorts) with someone.  I went into default mode...eat into oblivion.  But I don't want to do that anymore.  I've already emailed my centre and asked about CBT.  I'm taking my well being and my recovery very seriously this time around.  I'm worth it.

I'll keep in touch to get updates about how you are doing.  Thanks again and take care!

You just wrote the most important thing. You are definitely worth it!

Dear kellygotnobelly and Dawn

Thank you for talking about CBT openly. For different reasons, I'm starting counselling this week but I'm positive whatever I learn can be applied.

it's universal that way.

Thank you, Sandy & Dawn, for sharing your feelings & experiences with binge eating.  I am currently waiting for my surgery date and I feel it is good to hear from vets regarding their experiences, because those of us who are pre-surgery need to know that having the surgery is not going to solve all our food issues.  In fact, I'm concerned how I will do 6 months or a year or more after surgery, so I have started seeing a counsillor  (1 session so far) to help me get a handle on the emotional eating.   Thanks again for being so honest.

I had no social work or anything like that when I had my surgery. I often see people that think that the surgery is going to fix everything wrong in their heads. There are some people that gained weight from babies or medication that perhaps don't have many eating disorder type issues...but MANY, MANY of us do. 

If you are a binge eater, it will rear it's head again at some point.  Emotional or boredom eating too.  As well, the longer that you were overweight (like those of us who were never normal growing up), the more we tend to struggle over time.

I highly encourage everyone to look into the social work piece with seriousness and the courage to explore eating issues.  The hard part of this surgery is NOT losing the weight. It's the keeping it off.  It can be a struggle on some days.

Anyone who ever wishes to talk to this, drop me a line or add me on Facebook. I believe in being real about stuff as much as possible.  Surgery has been the best tool ever and I do not have any regrets at all....but it does not mean that my head is fixed nor that food isn't an issue for me any longer. 

Dawn

This is a very interesting post to me for a couple of reasons, first off - I too am a binge eater and do not dump at all , sugar means nothing to this pouch which is a bad thing , secondly , regarding the binge , it truly happens , im experiencing it first hand however in a different form , my wife who is a year and two months post op is the queen of the binge however she currently has been diagnosed with an eating disorder and is currently hospitalized for it .  Her definition of a binge is about 3 sticks of celery cut in threes , some mini carrots , some ranch dip , 2 bananas and some peanut butter , After this binge , she refuse to eat for a period of approx 2-3 days , when theses days come up - i emotional binge - anything and everything - donuts , hot dogs , pizza , whatever is available, How do i justify it - I run - approx 12 KM every 2nd or 3rd day - its an emotional release but it now way should it be a release for the bad eating that is occurring in my life right now , i loved your idea of the accountability page - im seriously considering doing this for myself .  Thank you for your post and all of your responses

Derek - my heart goes out to you and your wife....so much worry for both of you.....and each can sabotage the other .....glad your wife is getting some help....hang in there!

I totally get what Sandy and Dawn have written.....your demons are still the same post wls......and you need to find a way to deal with them...

I am going to binge some days....and just plain eat too much other days....and sometimes I will string way too many of these demon days together....it can be scary

I am fully aware of what I am doing.....for me....its getting back up and dusting myself off.....and getting right back on the horse.....this is why I have only lost 7 of my regain pounds in 6 months.....and it may take me another year to lose the rest.....

I think its important to NOT beat yourself up.....either get back up and go back to your routines.....or get help as Dawn indicates.....

Somedays.....I just want to eat....no emotional stuff....I am just hungry/tired/bored etc......I know there is a difference between real binge eating disorders and what I usually get which is the hungry/bored type of overeating......or just sick of daily working on what goes in the mouth.....and of course the all or nothing type of attitude

I am likely simplistic.....but I go by averages.........4-5 days on my routine....2-3 days off......great for maintenance.....not so great if you want to lose

Good luck Sandy......I can tell you I absolutely know....that I absolutely have to be aware- each and every day of each and every morsel that goes in my mouth....forever

Wow! I'm so sorry for both of your struggles. I'm glad your wife is getting help. Have you been to therapy sessions with her? Or has she shared strategies with you? Running helps me a lot too. I"m never hungry after a run. And my FitBit, and pleasing it helps me too. If I don't have enough steps in, I walk, or run, to get my 10,000. Especially on those hard to deal with my bingeing days.

As Dawn said, getting the weight off was easy, keeping it off is a ***** After I reached goal I got to a, "ok, what now?" stage. It depressed me, like after the presents were opened after Christmas. I have to keep myself going with mini-goals. Now i'm training for a marathon. After I had a crappy day yesterday, my run today was less than stellar. However, I still went, even though I felt like crap, and I seem back to normal. Had I used CBT more, and maybe posted on here at 4 a.m. before I ate cookies, or went for a run, I might not have binged.

But today is a new day, and i'm in control again. For now....

Thanks for your reply Birdiegirl and Derek...and to all the others *****plied before.  Its wonderful to have supportive, understanding community like the people on the OH board.  Wishing us all success in overcoming our food challenges...one day at a time.