Five years post op - frustrated/fearful/failed

Come November, I will be five years post op.  My first few years were great and while I never reached my goal (scale), I was very happy.  Fast forward two years ago when I started dating someone new.  It's like my sleeve magically opened up and the weight started pouring back on.  I have now gained back half of what I lost and am almost back in the same size clothes I started in before my sleeve .

I have read in the past about going back to the basics but I feel that I haven't gotten off track so much that that won't be enough.  I am so afraid of being "fat" again.  I am back on blood pressure meds and my joints are constantly in pain making it difficult to get back into a workout routine.

What, exactly, are you eating?  Give us your meal plans for a few days so we can troubleshoot.  

If you aren't, start by weighing, measuring, and tracking every single thing you put into your mouth using something like MyFitnessPal.  Sadly, there's nothing magical about weight gain.  If you're gaining weight it's because you're eating more calories than your body is using.  

You say you don't feel like you're "off track so much" but here are my basics anyway, yours might be a little bit different.  

1. Prioritize protein and water
2. Deprioritize carbs, especially the refined and processed ones
3. Make the most of healthy fats
4. Eat three meals a day with no snacks
      a. Do not drink while eating or for 30 minutes after eating
5. Avoid liquid calories (breakfast protein shake is the exception)
6. Weigh portions, log everything consumed
7. Eat mindfully and with no distractions aside from real live people
8. Move as much as possible
9. Weigh myself daily
10. Be kind to myself

Figure out where you're off track.  I recommend talking with a therapist and working to address the underlying causes involved that got you off track - dealing with those is the only way to really find a permanent lifestyle change.  

The good news is that you've reached out for help.  That's a really hard thing to do and you did it.  Other good news?  You still have your tool.  Your sleeve is still there, you'll still have restriction if you eat the way you should be eating which is mainly dense proteins.  The best news?  You've done this before and you CAN do it again.  Your past success should reassure you that you can find that success again.  

You can do this.  It'll suck and be challenging and you'll need to work hard at figuring out your habits and your brain, but it's possible.  

The mirror crack'd from side to side,
"My curse has come upon me" cried,
The Lady of Shallott!

Alfred Lord Tennyson

I had a massive regain - it killed me physically and mentally. Through the help of overeaters anonymous I've managed to take off almost 70 lbs. my sleeve feels like it's broken most days - that is - until I try to eat 6-7 oz of dense protein and then my sleeve starts to protest. Most foods though I have to be particularly careful not to over eat. 

What does your surgeon suggest? Perhaps a revision to D.S is called for? I don't know what your lifestyle is like, if you're having kids in the future etc, but I personally am very frustrated to have gotten the majority of my stomach taken away and still have to be so careful with my diet.

Maybe a revision doesn't suit your life now but it may in the future. 

Anyways, I know it's really hard to get back on track and find your motivation again. Also don't feel like you have irrevocably stretched your sleeve and that it's all your fault that you can eat more. I am 8 years out and I KNOW I can eat a lot more, most of the time I don't even notice the restriction. And I've recently had an endoscopy and upper GI done confirming that my sleeve is exactly the same size as when I first got it. Not stretched in the least. I was shocked, I still am actually. 

I wish you the best finding your mojo and getting back on track, I know it's hard. 

It may very well be that you needed more than the restriction of the sleeve.  If in your heart of hearts you feel you're not far off track, then consideration of a DS revision might be in order.  It doesn't hurt to try going back to basics first, though, just to assure yourself that you've tried everything you can.  Many VSG's have revised to DS and even RNY (but I wouldn't recommend that unless you had GERD) because they didn't see the results they hoped for with the sleeve.  

MsMick111 I am over five years out myself and wasn't able to reach my goal by 5 lbs, but after five years and two slipped discs I have regained around 40lbs. of the 100 I lost. I felt from the start my sleeve was to big since I was able to drink more than I should have from the start. Before I left the hospital I was able to drink close to 4 oz. in 30 mins. which they said that was fine. I want to try and shrink my sleeve by going on a broth diet for a couple of days. Does anyone know if this works? I haven't tried it yet.