Negative Input

 I am waiting on the acceptance by my insurance company for the DS surgery. I am having the surgery for health reasons. I have a BMI over 50, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high blood sugar. I have been on a multitude of diets for over 30 years. Most people I am associated with know this. However, I still receive negative input about the surgery. How do you respond to negative input?

UM...tell them thanks for their concern but you have done your research, weighed your options and are confident in your decision.  Other than that, you just have to stand by the courage you used to make this decision.  

Of course you could try to explain how miserable you are.  How you think you will die too soon without it or other logical arguments.  Might work but so what if it doesn't persuade others.  Not your problem they don't know what they are talking about because I guarantee you this...99% of them haven't put in 1% of the research you have.  

Just keep your head up and don't loose your confidence in your decision because others can't deal with it.

 Thank you. I was beginning to feel like they don't understand me at all. I don't understand how they can know my plight, but still be adverse to me getting healthier.

This is so hard when you know what you need to do yet you are so scared so you reach out to others who don't have your health concerns and haven't done the research you have. And their reaction is based, as the previous person said, on their own stuff, and concerns for you. I am revising from the band to RNY later this month and have learned from the first time to not tell many people, just for the response you've had. One person I told ( had to because her family will be taking care of our critters while we are gone) kept telling me that I shouldn't because everyone she knows who has had it had problems, etc. Well, I also know several people who have had it and are doing very well. It's interesting that this woman is heavier than I am so no doubt has her own issues. I understand that there may be complications. I had some with my band which is why I'm revising. But I can't lose the weight on my own and I hope this will add ten to twenty healthy years to my life.

Believe in yourself first and foremost. This is for you, for your health and longevity. And you have tons of supporters here!

Aloha,
Barb

 Aloha Barb,

Thanks for your input. It's good to know I have support.

You don't owe anyone any explaination.  I would just keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone about your plans.  Spend your time doing research and educating yourself about WLS and living with it afterwards.

Negative input??? Tell 'em to sit an' spin! (*grin*)

Seriously, this is about YOUR health, not their attitude. NO one who's never been MO has the faintest clue what our life is like, or how HARD it is to try and try to lose weight without success.

I wish I had some magic words to tell you how to deal with these nay-sayers---but I don't. The best I can offer you is the positive input of people like me, who've been where you are now.

A lot of the long-term vets have moved on to a different, more truthful website---check out the link in my profile.

For that reason I told very few people. I did not even tell my mom until the week before. There will always be people not informed and having opionions. I got it too. I would just address it quickly, not make a big deal and then change the subject. Luckily, I never had anyone pursue after that and they caught the hint. Honestly, one of the BEST decisions of my life. I am seven years post op next week and still at goal. Could never be here without that tool. My only regret I did not do it sooner. You will be fine. Hang in there until the big day. :):):) Hugz

Id say something along the lines of "Ive spent many hours researching weight loss surgery options and I have decided that the DS is the best option for me."  If you wanted to, you could go into details about how it helps the comorbitities you list.  Or you can decide that its none of their business. 

The negativity of others comes from either not knowing what the surgery is all about or from their own biases.  Ultimately its your body and you should feel free to have whatever surgery you feel is going to help you with your health.