Well, I guess it's true...

Never thought it would be me...but I was told the divorce rate is HIGH after gastric bypass.  Five years ago, and 31 years of marriage later...I never, EVER, would have guessed it would be ME...but here I am...separated and asking myself "why".....not knowing the answer.  It's all ME...but can't pinpoint why other than I am a "different" person.  Family blames it all on surgery.  I say not, but could it be true?

I don't know if it is from the surgery or not , but I know that when I lost 160 on a liquid diet , I didn't take **** from anyone , my husband and adult children included and my husband and I had a hard time...it was very challenging.But that was 13 years ago and now we are going on 40 years...and I am having bypass next week :)
I am sorry that you are going through this. my daughter was divorced after her bypass , her husband could NOT handle her with more confidence and standing up to him and they had been married 15 years.
I don't think we realize how we really change with a large weight loss, not that the change is bad but when 1 person changes in the family , the whole family changes and it doesn't always work out the way we want it to.
I hope things get better for you and your husband

My daughter also divorced after bypass.  Her ex could not deal with the fact that she would no longer allow him to treat her like crap.  She felt like she wasn't worth much at 300 lbs., and he agreed.  Once she was thin, she had a lot more confidence and stood up for herself.

Plus he apparently likes obese women because he found another 300 lb. woman after they divorced. Or he liked the fact that obese women have very little self esteem and he could push them around.  Not sure which.

I don't think it'a accurate to say obese women have very little self esteem.  Some obese women have low self esteem, just like some thin women do.  Other obese women have perfectly healthy self esteem.

I doubt it's true.  I'm not sure how having WLS would make you a different person.  I'm not sure the divorce rate is actually higher after RNY than before RNY, either... I've heard people say that but I've never seen any actual statistics.  Although having RNY can be stressful and any type of stress can be hard on a marriage.

I absolutely would NOT blame WLS. You know what I think it is with me? I don't have fattening food to stuff down my feelings, thoughts, emotions & hurt the way I did before RNY. I smoked; I quit 25 years ago. I drank; I quit 25 years ago. The only thing left? FOOD. It was my comfort. Instead of speaking up for myself to my husband, I ate. I spent so much time & $ at restaurants with friends because I didn't want to be near him because he hurt my feelings so much either by what he said, didn't say, did, or didn't do.

When I got home from the hospital last month, it was a new me. My husband was absolutely shocked. He said, "I don't know what happened to you, but you're a different person since the surgery." I said, "You're darn right I am!" We've been together over 26 years & it's been a rocky road from day one. But I started seeing a counselor before my RNY, & I try to be 100% honest with her about my feelings about my marriage. I can't make my husband go to counseling, I can only control my own behavior.

Like any addict, when the person gets clean & sober, everything in their life changes. For me, it was no different.

I wish you only the best of everything. Take it one day at a time grrl. Nothing is forever, not even separation, so you both could work together to see if it's really the end. No matter what, put yourself FIRST.

Thank you all for your responses! I agree with you all.  It makes me mad when the family blames it all on my surgery...I say it's my self-confidence and just an overall sense of being stronger that pushed me to this point...probably with the help of just overall feeling more confident about ME.  Which I guess IS due to my surgery.  Plus, this girl "came alive" again.  You don't wanna come along for the ride, then I'm doing it alone...OR with someone new! :)

in my experience, I found that I had more self confidence after wls, and about two years after wls, I called for a divorce after 10 yrs of marriage. I was able to find the added push that I needed to get out of my marriage, that I really didnt want from day one, but felt that I didnt deserve any better and that was the best I was ever gonna get. with the body and attitude, and out look on life change, I didnt become a witch, but I was able to stand up for myself, and actually go after what I wanted for a change.....what would make me happy. I just wish I wouldve done it a lot sooner....wls and divorce. so much happier now!!! I also said in the begining that it wouldnt happen to me, so glad it did.  good luck to you 

People change with wls or without and lots of married couples grow apart.  I was divorced well before I had wls from my sons father, who I was with 18 years.  I met my current boyfriend 10 years ago when I was MO, had wls in 2005 and we are still together stronger then ever.  People change, relationships change, desires change, it happens, there is nothing to blame.