How weightloss surgery can affect relationships

When we all look into having weight loss surgery we are focused on having the surgery and all of the positive wonderful things that come with it like being healthier, energy, and being able to enjoy life.  One thing that is important for all WLS patients to know is that as you are changing it can effect friends, spouses, and relatives.  The reason the WLS effect the people around you is because when people have accustomed to a person being over weight it is hard for them to see the person any other way.  Example is everyone was use to me not wanting to put on cloths that showed off my body so when I started wearing cloths that fit me they did not know how to deal with it.  If a person is use to you sitting at home with them every Friday night eating junk food and now the person who had surgery want to go bowling.  The person you use to hang out with might feel left out.  It is important for us to remember this is a change for everyone .  Remember that some of the people who love you and you are close to might say things to hurt your feelings so remember to understand this and help people understand that they are still part of your life.  Can people share some of their experiences with WLS and people they are close to.

I have not had any adverse experience personally yet.

My daughter had been in a five year relationship. The year they planned to marry, she had WLS surgery.  Three months after their marriage, he cheated on her with another woman - an obese woman about the size she had been prior to surgery.  There seemed to be 2 different dynamics going on here.  One, he liked big women - after the divorce, she found big woman *****n the computer.  The second issue was apparently after she became more comfortable with herself, she stood up for herself and no longer allowed him to push her around.

So it can adversely affect relationships

 This is very true having WLS gives people a lot of courage that they did not have before surgery and when the person start to speak up other people often do not like it.  Some people look to pray on people who have problems with self esteem or physical disabilities because, they want to be in control.  It is important for people who is planning to have surgery or who have had surgery to be prepared for changes in relationships.  I encourage people to sometimes see a therapist at least one time a year for the first 6 months to a year.  I personally saw a therapist for first 9 months to help me adjust to my new life and experiences with relationships with family and friends.  

I find my husband and I have become more open.
I don't have food to hide my emotions anymore (on Opti...WLS on the 29th), so we talk it out.
We're going to get fit together, it's a wonderful journey so far.
I'm so glad we can communicate our concerns and dreams.

My boyfriend liked me fat and he likes me thin.  I like me better thin.  I think its win win.

I strongly recommend reading this book.

It describes how WLS strengths and ends relationships.

It is completly true that relationships will be effected by weight loss surgery.  For me, it happened the night before my surgery.  Both of my parents were unsupportive of my decision to have bariatric surgery and the night before we got into a heated argument and they told me "you ate yourself to this weight and shouldn't take the easy way out".  They went on to call me every name in the book so I decided at that point enough was enough!  The relationship with my parents goes a whole lot deeper than that but I've come to realize that they are toxic and don't diserve to be apart of my life.  I haven't spoken with them since, that was 3 months ago. 

 I believe that the people who say ugly things and focus on the negative things with WLS or start acting diffrently do it because they are missing something from their lives.  I have had to learn to focus and stay positive for my self in order to stay continue the journey to a positive WLS experience.  I believe that family members should go to thearpy as well as the patient.